Look Up At The Sky

Chapter 12

Fast forwarding a bit because that week wasn't that eventful.. Just normal in school, hungout with both Jamie and Charlie a few times and did some last minute things for the funeral. Oh, and still no sight of Lil..

However, it's now Saturday the 19th of May. The day of my fathers funeral. It shouldn't be long until everyone is here. First because it should start in around thirty minutes and second because he didn't have that many friends to start with. I think Pete and Jamie are going to come, more for me though since Pete never really met my dad and Jamie maybe a bit for the both of us. Wether or not Lilly will come, I have no idea.

The church was decorated with a few flowers here and there, mostly on the coffin that was up in the front of the church. The candles were lit, I'm not sure why though because there's plenty of light coming in through the windows..

I peeked out through the curtains to see if people had come yet. I was in a room over the front of the church where they keep some of the... erm... I've forgot the word.. But you know the clothes everyone in the church choir wears? Anyways, I'm in that room. Why? Because it turned out that I can't afford with a minister but only to rent the church space. It's all so weird and I don't understand it one bit. It also means that I also have to stand for the music all by myself.. Well Jamie did say she could help and she is, along with some of her friends.. I'm so thankful to have her as my best friend. We've put together some really good songs, I'm happy with them.

But here I am, trying to calm my nerves since I'm the one who will hold the whole ceremony. I'm a decent singer and I do know some instruments but I'm by no means a good speaker. Especially in front of a crowd.

I peeked out again and saw that it's time for me to go out there. I just wanted to get this over with.

Walking up the aisle, people weren't starring at be at first because no on seemed to notice that I was there until I actually stood up there in front of everyone. I looked out and I could see around ten of my dad's co workers, some of our neighbours whom I didn't even knew cared one bit about him.. Also Pete, Jamie, Charlie and of course Jamies friend's who are helping me with playing the music which we are doing live. I couldn't see Lilly here though.. Maybe she'll come soon?

"Hi everyone." I said a little shy looking out over them.

I had spoken to the school principal and asked if I could borrow some things from the music room, such as microphones and amplifiers. He said I could but I did have to pay some for it and get it to and from the church myself which still made it cheaper than renting it from the church.

"Well, I'm not that big of a speaker especially in front of people. Actually, I'm not a good speaker the end." I said and I could hear a few laughters.

"I guess I should say thank you for coming to my and my little sisters father's funeral but I think that seems a little weird. I mean.. Thanking you for coming to a funeral seems a little.. I don't even know. But yeah, thank you I guess." Shit I'm nervous. I can't stop shaking. Or maybe I'm crying? No my cheeks aren't wet..

"I know this is serious and jokes and laughter isn't something that is seen appropriate by any means. But I don't feel comfortable with too serious situations, which I would say this is so if I start to make a joke or so and you find it funny. Feel free to laugh. I think my dad would've wanted you to anyway. And this is all to honer his memory right?" I said a little unsure but they seemed.. a little relived I guess I could say. Even though that may be a weird way of putting it.

Breathe. Just Breathe and don't stress, I told myself.

"Because I'm not a very good speaker, like I said before I thought I'd just read some quotes and poems that I know at least my mom liked and also sing a few songs together with some friends. I hope that's okey?" I asked looking out to see their reactions and some of them nodded in reassurance.