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YOU KNOW THAT FEELING, when you feel like something is wrong even though everything is going perfectly fine? That feeling you get in your stomach, your gut telling you that it doesn't seem right. That was what Naomi was exactly feeling at the moment. She didn't know wether she should ignore it or actually figure out why she was feeling that way.
She had woken up to Paulo's arms being wrapped around her body. She couldn't help but love the feeling, but Naomi also felt like she didn't want Paulo so close to her.
Everything was fine between them at the moment, but a month ago, actually. She questioned what his motive for such a drastic change in a matter of days. Only a month ago they weren't even talking to each other even if they lived under the same roof. They slept on the same bed, but they didn't sleep in each other's arms. There was no hugging nor kissing.
When Paulo had begun to show some affection was the week before they came to Argentina. As if all his affection was just a way to convince her to come to Argentina.
She wanted to ask him millions of questions, but she always kept them in, trapped in the back of her mind.
Naomi wanted to be happy with Paulo, but the fact that she was always worrying, or that something didn't feel right, destroyed the thoughts of her being happy with him.
Naomi felt that their so-called love was just something that seemed to disappear and return. It would never stay forever, neither would it leave forever. Their love seemed to be something strange and inconstant. Sometimes she would even wonder if the love they had for another, or she believed existed, was even real love.
She hated having to have doubts about Paulo, even when their relationship was doing pretty good at the moment.
Naomi had always been one to have hope for everything possible in her life. But it seemed that when Paulo had changed all of a sudden, that hope she had disappeared along with the faith she had in Paulo.
She felt that whenever she thought she was finally happy in life and everything was perfect, something would get in the way of it and crush the idea of finally having the perfect life she had imagined for herself at this age. At this point in her life she had hoped that she would've been happy with her boyfriend, maybe even married and focused on her career.
But the truth was that everything with her boyfriend, Paulo, wasn't alright. The possibility of them getting married seemed impossible and her career- she had wasted so much time on Paulo that she had done nothing for herself and her career. She could always go back to school and continue, but everything with Paulo seemed like something she couldn't fix.
Fix what exactly? Everything was perfect at the moment for them, and they were happy. But there would be times where she would feel like she couldn't continue with was left of their relationship. She had been hurt by Paulo way too many times to even keep count.
Naomi understood that they were pretty young when they had first met, and he knew that from the moment they had met they had felt something for each other. As cliché as it was, they had felt a spark, or even more than that.
If she had known from the first time they had shared their first kiss; the day she had truly felt something for him, that Paulo would only cause her problems or that all she would do is break her heart, she would've saved herself from all the pain he's caused her and she would've never fallen for him. Life would be so much easier if the person you fell in in love with came with a warning. But it didn't work that way, as much as people wished it would.
Maybe the only reason why he kept hurting her and breaking her heart constantly was because, those were all warnings. The warnings she was to blind too see because, she only saw the 'love' he showed her. Naomi didn't look closely to see through him and find his lies and his true intentions.
But the pretty looks and the affection shown, deceive you in love don't they?
She had spent so much time falling love with those beautiful emerald-colored-eyes to even look through them and notice every single time he had lied to her face, with no hesitation, and definitely with no regret.
Everyone knew the sweet side of Paulo Dybala, but no one had taken the time to discover him truly and see past the pretty face. No one knew the other side to Paulo except Naomi and every chick he had ever gotten with during the time he claimed to love Naomi.
"Good morning mi amor," he spoke with his eyes shut as a lazy smile appeared on his lips.
Naomi wondered how many girls had been in the same situation as she was right now, how many girls he had called 'mi amor' or anything he would call her. But as much as she hated it, she knew that she could answer her own question easily.
A lot.
"Good morning Paulo," she said softly.
Naomi looked at his tired child-like face, who knew that a different and opposite side of who they believed Paulo was existed. But looks are deceiving, aren't they?
✧
okay so i think this is my fav chapter i've written for this book lol.
