Jared Koolman: His parents think you were lovers. You realize that, right?
Evan's eyes widened. It didn't make sense- why would they think that?! He'd just said that they were friends- not anything more than friends. Jared must just be messing with him- that was it. Besides- Evan was Evan. Evan was unloveable- no one in their right mind would ever want to date him.
Me: What?! Why would they think that?
Jared Koolman: Um, you were best friends but he wouldn't let you talk to him at school? And when you did, he kicked your ass? That's like the exact formula for secret gay high school lovers
His stomach dropped as Evan thought back to any book or TV show involving secret gay high school lovers that he had seen or read and... oh god it was true he'd fucked up they were going to think that he and Connor had dated... What if they asked him and he panicked and said yes?? Evan couldn't do that- he couldn't do that, he couldn't fake being in a relationship with Connor Murphy .
Me: Oh my god
Jared Koolman: This is why I told you- what did I tell you?! You just nod and confirm
Me: I tried to. I just, you don't understand. I got nervous and I started talking, and then once I started I just...
Jared Koolman: You couldn't stop
The truth hit Evan as he wrote his next message.
Me: They didn't want me to stop
Jared Koolman: So what else did you completely fuck up?
Me: Nothing. Seriously
Me: I mean I told them we wrote emails
Jared Koolman: Emails
Jared was making fun of him, Evan realized, while also prompting him- he could hear Jared's voice saying that in his mind, the mocking tone Evan knew too well. His stomach dropped even further as he finished the text, his mind reeling.
Me: Yeah, I told them that Connor and I wrote emails and that Connor had a secret email account...
Sure enough, Jared's sarcastic response greeted him moments later.
Jared Koolman: OH RIGHT one of those secret email accounts SURE!!!! For sending pictures of your penises to each other!!!
Me: Yeah and so I said, he had this secret account, and we should send emails to each other
Jared Koolman: I mean, honestly? Could you be any worse at this?
Probably not , Evan thought before another idea hit in, full force in the face. His palms began to sweat as he realized that the Murphy's would want to read the emails that he and Connor had supposedly written. Of course, Evan could always say "oh they're too private", but their son had died - he had killed himself and the only reason that they had was a crumpled up letter in his pocket, a letter that was simply there at the wrong time that wasn't even written by Connor Murphy.
But this time, Evan didn't have a solution- he didn't have a way he could lie his way out of this without feeling like a complete and utter asshole. He couldn't hurt the Murphy's- it had been his one goal, to not hurt this family even more than they'd already been hurt- but he couldn't think of a way out of this without hurting them. Oh god what could he doing?!
Me: They're going to want to see our emails
Jared Koolman: You think?!
YOU ARE READING
Did I Even Make A Sound?
Fanfiction'Dear Evan Hansen.' The words were easy enough to type, but Dr. Sherman had told him to say them out loud. It was bad enough he had to write letters to himself for therapy- if he had to say them out loud while he was typing them, it would make him f...
