Did I Even Make A Sound?

Ghost

Evan couldn't breathe. He barely made it through dinner with the Murphy's- he felt terrible, he was being ungrateful and stupid, but he'd just fucked up . He'd... God, what gave him the idea that kissing Zoe Murphy was a good idea?! The Murphy parents hadn't seemed to understand what to do with him- Evan didn't blame them, it was stupid and once Zoe told them, it'd be all over and they wouldn't want him to come over anymore and he'd be back where he started- but maybe that was for the best so he didn't hurt them anymore ...

His mind ached from the conflict between the two thoughts. Evan just couldn't believe that he'd done that- what had he been thinking?! He hadn't. That was the problem- he hadn't thought and he'd just done and Evan always needed to think and this was why- so he didn't fuck up and do something like this .

When Evan finally left the Murphy house, it felt as if his head was about to explode. His heart was going a mile a minute and he just, he couldn't breathe or comprehend or just... Why had he kissed Zoe Murphy?!

Evan forced himself to take a deep breath, looking up from his feet as he walked along the sidewalk back to his house. His breathing was becoming labored again as he was finally by himself, able to think and not have to speak to anyone anymore- because he had finally left the Murphy house, where just moments ago he had lied to Cynthia and Larry about being friends with their dead son and kissed their daughter . His breath hitched his in throat and Evan shut his eyes as he continued to walk, forcing himself to try and take breaths with every step- but he kept walking faster and faster and so his breathing got faster and faster and fuck ...

"Jesus Christ Hansen, could you breathe any louder?" Evan's head jerked up and stopped in his tracks because Connor Murphy was standing in front of him again , his arms crossed with an expression that seemed to scream what the hell and pathetic all in one.

Evan stepped backwards, his eyes wide because how the fuck - "H-How-" He managed before realizing that Connor Murphy- dead Connor Murphy- had a point. He was breathing so loudly and so much that if anyone heard him, they'd probably think he was an animal or something. Evan forced himself to take a deep breath, which didn't help at all.

"How what?" Connor raised his eyebrows. "How am I here?" He laughed- a cold laugh that reminded Evan of the one Zoe had given him so often before he fucked everything up by kissing her what was he thinking - "Asking myself the same question."

Evan shook his head, unable to comprehend- how was Connor Murphy standing there, talking to him? Connor Murphy was dead . "Y-You're dead, how... I mean, I don't... why-"

"Believe me, if I knew, I'd tell you." He rolled his eyes, sighing as he looked up and down the sidewalk. "Look, if you actually want to go home, you should get going before someone stops and asks what the fuck you're doing. You look high. Talking to yourself." Connor's gaze hurt, almost as if he were cutting into Evan's chest.

Almost without realizing it, Evan began to move again, listening to Connor's words without fully registering what he was saying. "This... I..." Evan wasn't sure what he was trying to say, but it just, it didn't make sense because Connor was dead but he was also here and talking to Evan and it just, it didn't make any sense . "I-"

"What did I just say?" Connor raised an eyebrow, looking over as he walked next to Evan, his hands in his pockets as he stared judgmentally- even for a dead guy, Connor's stare seemed to cut the air between them. "You look high because you're talking to yourself. If anyone sees you and recognizes you? And calls your mom?" He scoffed, shaking his head as if the idea were too ridiculous to even entertain. "She'd put you on even more drugs."