"Alright, today is the day, Hansen." Connor said from where he was sitting near Evan's feet, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall behind him. "You have to talk to someone about this. I mean, we have to get it going somehow."
"Who do I talk to?" Evan asked, pulling at his shirt. The brochure sat on his bedside table, untouched from last night. He couldn't believe it- he haddone that, he had made that. It was there, real , right next to him- this was real , this could be real ...
"Um, Jared and Alana?" Connor made it sound like Evan was stupid. "I mean, who else would you talk to?"
"I... I don't know..." Evan took a deep breath. He wasn't even at school yet- his alarm wasn't supposed to go off for another few moments- but anxiety was already pressing down on his chest, making it difficult to breathe. What if it didn't work out- what if all of this was for nothing and it didn't end up working? What if Jared or Alana or whoever he talked to thought he was crazy for trying something like this? What if this wasn't even a good idea-
"Hansen, come on, you can't wuss out now." Connor groaned, his head hitting the wall behind him with a loud thud. "You already printed out the brochure. If you don't go through with it, you just wasted paper."
Evan hated wasting paper. That sounded ridiculous- but he loved trees and wasting paper was killing trees.
It was kind of ridiculous, Evan realized as his alarm began to beep and he sat up, going to get ready. One of the main reasons that he was going to actually go up and talk to Alana and Jared about this "Connor Project" was because Evan didn't want to waste paper because he loved trees so much.
Connor laughed- but it was kind of a dull, lifeless sound. "Wow. That is kind of ridiculous, Hansen." It seemed like Connor was in his head- it was weird how well Connor Murphy's ghost seemed to know and understand him. But, in a way, Evan didn't really care. It was nice to have someone who understood him and knew what to say and knew how to help... It was more than anyone had ever done for him and, even if he was technically a ghost, Evan felt like he and Connor were close- closer than he and Jared had ever been, closer than he and his mom had ever been. Evan hadn't felt this close to another person... ever.
How sad that when Evan finally connects with someone, it turns out he's dead and a ghost, probably haunting Evan for lying to his family about being friends with him.
************************
"There's Kleinman." Connor said from behind Evan. It was weird- Evan was able to see Connor Murphy walk through the halls of his high school, as if he were alive, but no one else could. Because Connor Murphy had killed himself. But yet here he was. "And Alana!" His tone rose slightly, as if he couldn't believe their luck.
"H-Hey, Alana!" Evan said, walking quickly over to her.
She turned to face him, the ever-present smile plastered on her face. But then, almost as if realizing it was Evan, her smile faded a little. "Oh, hi Evan. Have you thought of anything that you could do to help people remember Connor?"
"Oh, um." Evan's courage instantly drained- as if he'd had any courage to begin with. "Um, yes, actually? I mean, I don't know... I mean," Evan shook his head, forcing himself to met her gaze. "Yes. I... I did."
Her eyes lit up. "Really? Can I hear it?"
Before Evan could say anything, Jared stopped in between Evan and Alana. "Hear what? Are you subjecting Alana to a lecture about some stupid tree shit like deforestation, Evan? Because that's just torture-"
YOU ARE READING
Did I Even Make A Sound?
Fanfiction'Dear Evan Hansen.' The words were easy enough to type, but Dr. Sherman had told him to say them out loud. It was bad enough he had to write letters to himself for therapy- if he had to say them out loud while he was typing them, it would make him f...
