5SOS Preferences

#40 You Have A Break Down/Relapse

#40 You Have A Break Down/Relapse

TRIGGER WARNING

Luke:
You silently entered your house after the exhausting day of pretending at school. Your smile had disappeared-put in your pocket for tomorrow's torture-a blank expression took its place. Your school bag slipped off your shoulder hitting the ground with a thud. School books and homework that would go untouched again tonight. The sleeves of your sweater hid your hands as you slouched your way to your bathroom. Looking in the mirror a distorted image staring back. The girl with hallow eyes and sunken cheeks, made a face in disgust at the reflection you saw. Rummaging through your drawers until you found your book. You gently open it finding the page bookmarked by a blade. Twirling the cold metal between your fingers you lifted up your sleeve revealing your cut up arm. You sliced furiously at the very little skin that was untouched.

"Fat. Unworthy. Stupid. Selfish. Attention whore. Slut. Imperfect. Bitch. Tramp. Trash. Freak." With every word a new cut was opened. Tears fell inking your face black from your makeup. Your body was so consumed with the deserved pain you didn't hear the front door opening and closing. You didn't hear your boyfriend of a year call out to you saying he was back from tour. You didn't hear the rush of footsteps coming toward the bathroom when you didn't answer.

"Baby?" A sob escaped the blonde boys chapped lips as he stared at the red river dripping from her arms.

"I-I didn't hear you come in," you stuttered. Luke rushed over to you and snatched the blade out of your hands flushing it down the toilet.

"No, stop! What are you doing?" you screamed in horror.

"Taking the first step towards your recovery. (Y/N), why didn't you tell me? I could have come home from tour sooner and helped you through this," he says gently pulling your arm towards the sink and washing away the red.

"Oh ya, because the fans don't hate me enough," you growl.

"The ones who hate on you, who make you feel like shit? They aren't real fans. Not to me and not to the boys," Luke ducked down and retrieved a first aid kit quickly bandaging your damaged skin.

"I can't do it Luke," you sniffed.

"Yes you can. And I'm not going to leave your side until you smile again. I believe in you and I know it's gonna be hard but I can't lose you. I love you (Y/N) too much to let you go," Luke kissed up your arm until he got to your lips and kissed them hard.

"I love you too Luke," you whispered bringing him in for another kiss.

Ashton:
You sat on the edge of your bed waiting for Ashton to come and pick you up. Your parents had just left after yelling at you about how incompetent and careless you were. Your grades in school had dropped tremendously just like your sleep. The bags under your eyes had taken a gross kind of purple-y black making it look like you got beat up pretty bad. You blinked tiredly before turning your head towards the door. Ashton stood in the doorway with a concerned look on his face.

"You didn't answer the door," he says.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you knock," you mutter.

"Or your phone?"

"Parents took it. I'm not getting it back until my grades improve."

"(Y/N) are you okay? You seem so... Dead," Ashton says taking a seat beside you.

"I wish I was," you say quietly to yourself.

"W-What?" Ashton says worried.

"You don't understand Ash. My parents think that I am this extraordinarily smart person and they've put me in all these AP classes but I'm failing all of them. My homework keeps me up till the morning hours and my stress level is through the roof. I had a panic attack today in class because I just completely snapped. They sent me home because of it so now my parents think I faked it just so I could get out of class and stay home. The school has called them twice telling them to switch me into academic but they refuse to believe that I am just like the average student. I break down every single day because I'm so frazzled and in that rare occasion where I don't have homework or assignments the anxiety keeps me up all night. I can't do this anymore. I'm about to snap or have a mental breakdown! I just, I can't. I really fucking can't," you sob and Ashton pulls you close. His strong arms build a wall around your fragile frame.