Broken Wings

Alone With The Angels

I sat at the end of my bed, all alone in this little room in this house, that I don't even own.

I mean, what else could I do, with the 8 hours of spare time I had?

I looked out the window, and I saw people walking back and forth across the street with a purpose.

Sometimes I wish I could have some purpose like that; maybe have a job or something. But with my record it's almost completely impossible.

I'll never get to have a true purpose in this world, except for this stupid paranormal or religious thing inside my body.

Who the hell would call THAT a purpose?

And if it even was a purpose, I'm pretty damn sure no one else in this world would take my place for me.

So I chose to sit for almost half an hour, but soon I somehow got up, with an idea to find out what the heck I could find to watch or listen to, or whatever.

I go into the living room and search through the shelves and things, not knowing what I was quite looking for.

Most likely I wanted something to listen to.

I searched through multiple shelves, but I couldn't find anything to my interest. Where the hell would Ben hide his album CDs?

I looked around for a long time, but soon I gave up.

Maybe they were in their bedroom..

Am I insane?! I can't just go into someone's bedroom and look through their things like a complete stalker.

Well, funny for myself to ask, I have been in three mental asylums already. So yes. I am insane.

So I decided to go and give it a quick glance, since after all these people are my very best friends.

I open the door and turn on the light and OH MY GOD, the scent of deodorants and colognes were overwhelming, it was like a punch in the face.

But I went in anyway, and I found a shelf on a side of the bed I assumed was Ben's side, since there was a guitar leaning against the wall, and a pair of dirty boxers laying on the ground.

I tried to look away from the dirty underwear as I went towards the shelf, and immediately I found what I was looking for.

I was guessing he was some kind of vinyl collector or something, because there were about two stacks of vinyls on the bottom shelf.

I shrugged and picked it up, and I was satisfied to see tons of familiar bands and different rock material.

I skimmed through them, and at the very bottom there was a small folder that seemed to be hidden.

I was insane enough to just carelessly open the folder to have a look, and there was two album CDs in colorful cases from a band that I've never IN MY LIFE have heard before.

One was orange with a weird Celtic knot in the center, the colors reminded me of fire or lava, but it wasn't as smooth as either. The top left corner said "Saturate" so I assumed that's what the album was named.

Another one was a insane looking bald man with his hands over his face, as if he was having a breakdown, like the ones I have all the time. The top left corner said "We Are Not Alone" and it gave me weird feelings about it, and it gave me a strong interest.

The band's name was Breaking Benjamin, and I snorted as I thought, why the heck would he listen to a band with his own name in it? And why especially is Benjamin breaking something??

Or is Benjamin breaking?

I shrugged and put the vinyls back and took the folder out of the room and shut the door behind me, and the burst of fresh air went into my lungs, and I noticed again how strong the smell was back there.

I went to the living room and set the folder on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, and opened it again and took out the bald-man-album.

I opened it and very carefully took out the CD, and it seemed to have never been touched before.

I looked at it confused, and carefully set it on the table.

I looked on the back of the case, and read what the tracks were called.

I looked at the song called "So Cold" and decided to play that because it was already going to be the first track that came on once I put it in the player.

I pulled down the radio from the shelf and plugged it in, and the booming headache randomly came, fast and hard.

I groaned and grabbed onto my head, almost forgetting my surroundings as I stumble on the ground and lose balance.

Screams taunted me, and I hit my head on the radio I dropped on the ground.

"FUCK" I opened my eyes forcefully. This is not going to take over me. Not today. Not ever again.

I took control over my body and painfully pulled myself up, holding onto the sturdy coffee table to keep me up.

I sit down, and for some reason I really really wanted to get the CD playing.

I picked up the CD as carefully as I possibly can, but my hand tensed and I let it go before I could crush it.

My head seemed to get heavy, my body becoming farther away from me, and I started to finally scream, trying to fight it.

They can't take me in.

Voices begging, voices pleading, voices screaming in agony.

I forced myself to open my eyes again, noticing the small light that I could see through my consciousness, there was still a way out, but it was going to be hard to get through.

"LET GO OF ME" I felt my mind being dragged farther away, and I felt a sharp pain to my head in the real world, in the reality in that small light down the tunnel.

The red glow behind me was getting brighter, the face that haunts my dreams.

I screamed and begged, and I felt more pain, in both worlds. I was in between worlds, and pain was the only thing that seemed to exist anymore.

I groaned in agony and I slowly saw the light fading away from me, and the pain on that side seemed to still be there, but to not matter. Like it was all just a lie.

The last of the world I heard, I didn't see it anymore, was the echo of a door shut and a very calming voice calling my name in fear.

"LARA!"

"Oh my God.. PLEASE don't leave me!!"

But it was too late, reality seemed to no longer exist, and I was stuck in my own hell. The hell that's inside of me.