Avneil FF

Chapter 21

As she leaned against him, Avni finally spoke- this is nice right!

Neel- yeah it is he whispered back

Avni- its one of the many things that we may not have once a child is in the picture. She said softly.

Avni- Neel, I am sorry I freaked you out and ran off. But starting a family is not as simple as it seems. I don't know if you have thought of all that it entails but I have- a LOT actually and I have a lot of reservations with the idea.

Neel- was hanging on to every word carefully- he was relieved that she hadn't said that she was not interested in having kids at all- she was only saying that she had reservations. And he was surprised to hear her say that she had already been thinking about it-

He replied back calmly- Ok avni. What are your reservations?

Avni grabbed her phone and opened her Evernote app in which she had listed with bullet points her reasons and handed it to neel. Neel couldn't help but mentally chuckle at Avni's note taking even in this situation. It was one of her habits that he absolutely adored. She always liked to note down her plans- small or big. She was really big on making lists- of ALL kinds- right from shopping lists, checklists, and her favourite- pros and cons list reserved for every big decision in life. And even though neel loved to tease her about how she could keep her lists in her head also he really enjoyed seeing her meticulous planning process. And secretly he had been employing her technique at work and it had been hugely helpful. Just physically writing down facts and clues related to his cases helped to get rid of the clutter of information and gave him clarity about what he had accomplished and what he needed to do further. Neel took the phone from her and saw her bullet points-

1. Money

2. Time

3. Responsibility

4. Sacrifice

5. Fear/insecurity

As he looked at it the first thing he said was- what are you afraid or insecure about?

Avni just sighed- neel it's the last point on the list. Go in order. She scolded him like a school teacher.

Neel- ok teacher he said teasingly and said. Alright first thing on your list is money-

Avni- Neel, both of us are at a pretty nascent stage of our career, especially me. We don't have a lot of savings. Having a baby is expensive neel...and with every year those expenses will only increase. We need to get our finances in order, maybe even create a fund for our future kid. And I do not want us to depend on our parents for financial support in the upbringing of our child...

Neel considered her words carefully- he found himself agreeing with everything she said. I agree avni, I hadn't really thought about all this. Ok keep going.

Avni- next is Time- again right now at this stage in my career where I'm still sort of finding my footing. I cant invest the time that is needed to have a child.

Neel- but avni, that we are going to have to figure out with the flow only. Whenever we have a kid, we are going to have to balance our time na...

Avni- ya I know that...but at this point when I'm only around 6 months old at my job and haven't even been promoted yet...I don't think its right to plan a child. Getting pregnant will affect my lifestyle, my diet....everything! If I get pregnant I cant do everything I am now with no care in the world! I will have to make sure that I am eating right, sleeping right...what if I have some issues that require me to take rest and take off from work....i work in a corporate environment neel. They need me to get the job done and being pregnant is not an excuse. In fact it could be a liability. If they feel like it affects my productivity I'll just get fired especially when I'm still at such a junior level. Once I get at least 1 promotion under my belt things might be different...I wont be just a replaceable employee for them. And only after I finish at least 1 year at work will I be entitled to things like maternity leave and benefits and all of that....