Avneil FF

Chapter 51

Over the next 2-3 weeks avni had been trying her best to not overthink Neil's words. She kept telling herself that he had just been pranking her but somewhere she kept having a nagging insecurity about if she was a good enough wife. She didn't want to ever make Neil feel neglected or like he wasn't her first priority...she worried if she was not balancing her time adequately. Neil was a cop, he had irregular working hours but she had a more definite schedule. So she figured it was her responsibility to make sure she worked around her schedule to ensure that she was available for Neil. Everytime she thought back to his words, she analysed it deeply and thought- Neil said it's not often I chase him....hmm...that's true perhaps...I don't plan enough surprises for him. He does so much for me despite his schedule and I barely do anything. Upar se i I keep burdening him with my work issues and unimportant work gossip...maybe he doesn't want to hear about all that...it's inconsequential to him after all. And he has to deal with my mood swings..he often says that I get angry too easily....As these thoughts entered her head avni was very upset and angry at herself. She figured Neil was too nice to create a big deal of her shortcomings and nagging but she really wanted to be a good wife to Neil...he deserved the best after all! And she had lost enough in life to know that she could not afford to lose Neil. Everything she had today...stability, happiness- everything was as a result of him. So with all these thoughts avni started to cut back on her work...she had been very driven about her career but she started feeling like maybe she should take a step back. She tried to cut back on her enthusiasm at work and started delegating to others things she would normally do herself. But that was causing her to be frustrated because she was forcing herself to not do work that she was actually passionate about. She started talking less about work with Neil too and was catching herself from getting annoyed or angry at Neil for the little things that she used to- like forgeting to eat breakfast or take his lunchbox and leaving his towel on the bed, forgeting to charge his phone....she had with difficulty doing so but she very consciously stopped herself from saying anything that sounded angry or blunt. She hoped that all this would help make him feel less nagged and more loved. But despite it all, her fear and insecurities about ending up like her father and screwing up were playing a lot on her mind. And no matter how much she tried to remind herself of Neil's love she kept going back to thinking that it was Neil's love that stopped him from complaining but she didn't want to push him into getting fed up with her. She wanted to stay on top of this....atleast that's what she told herself. Just 2 days back she had woken up after a nightmare that Neil had left her because he got sick of her nagging and overbearing nature. She woke up and found the space next to her empty on the bed and it took her a while to snap out of her daze and realize that Neil was late from work and hadn't actually left her! That nightmare had freaked her out. She had mellowed down so much that it was finally starting to show.And the first person to notice was shweta. She had always been a perceptive woman..Although she had been prone to jumping to the wrong conclusions in haste in the past but she always had an instinct when things were not ok....and looking at avni she felt like she was not being her usual self... something seemed off, she wasn't sure what but she mentioned it to Neil as well. At first Neil wrote it off as his mom being overly concerned. If something was wrong avni would say so....but in the next week Neil started seeing it too..Avni was just not as talkative anymore...she appeared fine outwardly but like his mom he felt it too... the intuition that something was wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. Weekend was coming up and he was free from work too so he planned to take avni out for lunch and talk to avni about it the next day. But little did he know that he didn't need to wait till the next day!He headed upstairs to the bedroom and he found that avni was sleeping sitting up..she had the laptop screen open on a foldable table lying on the bed....Neil just shook his head at the scene. She had clearly been waiting up for him by trying to keep herself busy with work stuff on her laptop but was obviously too tired. Slowly he moved the table and laptop away and adjusted avni on the bed without waking her up. He was pulling up the quilt to tuck her in when he heard her whimpering his name along with few other words. Neil started smiling as he thought...iski neend main badbadane ki aadat kitni cute hai! But as he heard more the smile was wiped off his face.Avni- na...nahi...nahi please Neil.dont go. Don't...sorry...nahi, mat jao.Neil tried to shake avni up from her nightmareAvni, wake up.Avni- please Neil, don't leave....Neil shook her more vigorously and a few seconds later avni finally snapped her eyes open looking around frantically.Avni- Neil.. she sighed with relief as she saw him in front of her and instantly clung to him.I'm sorry....I'll be better. I promise. Just please don't leave she cried.Neil had no idea why she was saying what she was, she obviously had a bad dream but he couldn't think of any reason why...she was the strongest person he knew. So it shocked him that she was this terrified - that too of him leaving. He had no idea why she was apologizing and so scared about him leaving. but all that could wait. He held her back tightly, attempting to calm her down..he smoothed her hair and shushed her....it's ok. I'm here baby...i am not going anywhere.he told her repeatedly till he felt her starting to calm down.