halfway happy | fillie

< praying

{ i'm praying you'll come back to me.. please. }

-

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finn crouched next to millie's bed, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. his eyes were filled with tears, and he stared blankly at her.

"finn, are you sure you cant come back to set? we have a lot to do," caleb complained.

finn gritted his teeth. "as long as the love of my life is in this hospital room, i'm staying." he reached out, stroking millie's hand gently with his thumb, his heart breaking as he watched her stay still.

"how do you even know she's the love of your life?" caleb continued, earning a punch in the arm from finn.

"i just know, okay?" he hissed, turning back to millie, and watched her soft eyelashes flutter from the fan overhead.

the door opened, and noah poked his head in. "caleb, we need you on set." he shot finn a pity glance, and sighed, looking at his best friend for a second, before pushing out of the room.

finn stayed by millie's side through the whole night and next day. he woke in the evening, his curls stuck to his forehead, sweat lining his face and hair, worry coursing through him. 

he touched her hand, linking his fingers through hers, tears forming in his eyes at her still unmoving shape.

"i love you, millie." his voice was a whisper in the empty room. "i'm praying you'll come back to me... please." he squeezed her hand, crawling onto the bed next to her.

he closed his eyes, leaning his head against hers, kissing her soft hair, a tear splotching onto the pillow as he pulled the blanket up over them.

-

"finn..." his eyes fluttered a little as he heard his name. "FINN! wake up!" he opened his eyes, about to yell at whoever woke him up, when he realized where he was. he wiped at his puffy cheeks, turning to face millie, who was giggling at his flustered face.

"shut up," he mumbled, burying his head in her shoulder again. all of a sudden, it hit him, and his head jerked up, and tears spilled out of his eyes as he kissed all over her face, happiness drowning him. she was awake. she was alive.

he stopped, his heart sinking, and pulled back. "sorry. i now you probably want to take things slow, and i want to help you remember, but i just cant-,"

"finn." she interrupted him, worry showing in her eyes. "calm down. i want to be with you. that's what i said, remember? i was heartbroken not being with you for those months."

finn frowned. "but.. you said it didn't feel right. and.. weren't you with jacob?"

millie frowned too. "uhm. no. of course not. i wouldn't date anyone else."

finn gasped a little. "millie, what's the last thing you remember?"

her eyes widened. "we were about to kiss, and then... what happened? everything went black. and that's the last thing."

his mouth dropped open. "millie... you-remember?"

tears filled her eyes. "what- did i forget?"

he smashed his lips against hers, and she sank into him, tears running down both of their faces, their hearts racing, and finn pulled back, running his hand though her hair, tucking a piece behind her ear, gasping for air. "oh my god, millie. you remember."

the door to her room opened, and sadie poked her head in. she broke into a smile when she saw millie awake. "hey there... just checking to see if you were okay."

millie laughed. "what the hell, sadie? get over here, you big slug, and give me a hug!"

sadie's mouth fell open. "oh my GOD! MILLIE! YOU REMEMBER?!"

"what?!?!" noah shot into the room, and they both crashed into millie, tears running down everyone's faces, sadie gasping for breath as she hugged millie so tight she thought her liver might pop out.

finn squeezed millie's hand as more people poured into the room, and everyone hugged millie. she was still crying, and glanced over at finn, happiness shining in her eyes.

this was perfect. she was perfect. everything was perfect.

well, for now, at least.

-

sadie talked to millie for hours, catching her up on everything she missed while her memory was gone.

finn stayed silent, watching millie with her every move, his heart beating out of his chest as he admired all her qualities.

millie glanced over at him, and their eyes met, and he thought he might throw up, and he smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"ya know, i think i liked it better when she couldn't remember you were in love," sadie said with a roll of her eyes.

they laughed, and millie winked at him before turning back to her conversation.

-

finn sat on the apartment building roof, millie holding his hand tightly at his side.

their legs dangled down over the building, the thrill of danger filling their bodies, their hearts and hands warm as they hung on to each other, hung on like they would never hold on to each other again.

"i missed you so much," finn whispered.

millie smiled, kissing his cheek gently, but it was enough to make his head spin.

the night sky was beautiful, and it was chilly outside, but they were warmer then they had ever been, on the inside.

"what was it like?" millie asked suddenly.

"hmm?" finn looked at her.

"to have me... not remember." she whispered, holding back tears.

finn sighed shakily. "it's like... the feeling right after we broke up."

"like we'd never be happy again..." millie mumbled, and finn's heart sunk.

"millie, i am so, so fucking sorry. you don't understand... i thought i was doing the right thing. and if i could go back, and change what i did, and we would be happy. and none of this would have ever happen. god, millie. i am so so sorry."

millie didn't respond, just pressed her lips against his. they felt the spark they had felt the very first time they kissed, but bigger and stronger.

millie rested her head on his shoulder, and he continued. "like... that feeling, only ten times worse, because it wasn't that we weren't together, it was that you couldn't... remember any of the things i remembered. millie, sadie was devastated. you think i was hurt, and for her it was three times worse."

tears slipped down millie's face. "i'm so so sorry, finn."

he sighed, cold air billowing around them.

"i missed so much," millie whispered.

"not really," finn said. "we can make up for lost time."

she glanced at him. "what do you mean?"

he shrugged, a smile creeping across his face. "i have an idea..."

-

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author's note -

HI OH MY GOSH RNCMEK

sorry for the slow updates, i'm busy and i have finals next week and i also have regionals ( im an actress believe it or not ) and so yeahhh that's happening and i'm busy.

on another note, i uhm wait i forgot

uh

nvm. go read my new book "detention" and my book on my collab acc "seeing double" noahschnapples :))

okay bye