halfway happy | fillie

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hi guys im so so sorry this is NOT an update. i know y'all hate me and i'm sorry i'm just stressed and don't have a lot of time to write, please understand, i know those of you who write do. :)

anyway, i have an idea for a new book, and it won't be out for a while since i have like 3849029 drafts, but i wanted to share the prologue with you so maybe you could tell me if you'd read it?

ill delete this in a couple days maybe probably but maybe not idk so here it is and lmk what you think and feel free to comment! :)

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do you know that feeling? when you know you've done something wrong... and you feel all the way in the pit of your stomach to the top of your head and you want to just cry. you don't want people to feel bad for you, but you hurt everywhere and feel bad for yourself? you feel pity? and it hurts because you know exactly what you did. And you wish you could turn back time and undo everything you did?

it feels like rocks falling on top of you, suffocating you, making you shake and tears form in your eyes, as your eyes swell and your head hurts, and you feel like every inch of your body is slowly turning off.

but then... at the same time... you're torn, because you are so in love with a person that you can't help it. the way they look at you makes you push out all the regret you have inside of you, bringing you down.

that's how i feel right now. sitting inside a jail cell, soaking wet, having had no sleep, at three in the morning, waiting for my parents to come pick me up. they'll be so disappointed in me. it hurts to think about it.

the way they'll look at me, realizing that their once perfect child isn't really so perfect.

the curly haired boy next to me squeezed my hand, and i smile in spite of myself. no matter how much i hurt, my heart and head as well as the scratches and bruises on my body from the pervious events today, my hurt washes away as he smiles, too, his freckles warming my heart.

"god, i love you." he whispered, and my heart pounded but sunk as i realized millie would be here with my family soon.

i did feel bad. so, so horrible. maybe one day she would forgive me.

...if only i didn't fall in love with my sister's boyfriend.

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hi were you surprised?

uh surprise it's a foah book and it's a lot different then what I've written before but you know it's my style of writing so lmk if you would read! :)