Living with the Dead.(twd)

Subject 20399. (208)

MADISON'S POV.

It's dark. It's always dark inside this small, cold, dark room. The only light that I see is the light that slips under the door. The door is locked, like it's always been since I got here. The only time it's open is when they come to get me, to drag me out and face the same intolerable, unbearable pain.

As if I haven't felt enough pain. They say you don't remember the pain of childbirth, at least that's what my mother told me once, a long time ago. But it was all a lie. I remember every excruciating torturous moment of it. I don't think I can ever forget it.

But when I looked down at her, my beautiful baby girl, I knew I was right from the very start. I was right to keep the baby, I was right to love her and I was right to accept my faith so that she could be born. And I don't regret it, not for a second. I knew that all that pain was worth it.

My baby is the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Just as heartbreakingly gorgeous as the summer bloomed lilies in the lush, green grass next to the trickling river. That's why I called her Kara. She was just as beautiful as the Kara lilies.

I know I died. I felt it. I felt the darkness sweep over my vision and the weight that pressed down on my body like a soft blanket as my limbs got heavier and could no longer move. It was painful but peaceful somehow all the same. So when I could hear no longer and see nothing at all, I listened to the slow thud of my heart. I could feel it and I was ready to die, satisfied that I completed the mission I was eager to accomplish.

But if I can hear now, and feel all this pain, why am I dead? What I couldn't feel at all in those final moments, hurts twice as bad now, physically and mentally. This couldn't be death, it's too painful but the thought had crossed my mind that maybe I was dead but I was too far gone and this is the hell I have to pay for the sins in my life.

If this is hell its crueler than I thought. Sometimes I think I see Maggie and I call for her help, but she vanishes as soon as I see her. Beth and Jenna appeared too and even Carl showed up once. I didn't see much of him. His back was turned but I knew it was him because of his hat. But when I seen Glenn smile at me from across the room I knew it was a sick, cruel creation of my own mind. I was slowly going insane.

I look around the room although I know there's no point. All I see is the dark. I'm in the room alone but it's not an empty room. When they come to open the door I've realized that it's filled with everything I could possibly imagine piled up on top of each other in a wild mess. It was a hoarders dream home.

I don't know how long I've been left in this room. A couple hours maybe. My stomach hurts without food and when they come for me I can't scream because my throat is too dry from the lack of water.

My head snaps up when I hear the footsteps coming towards the door.
I watch the shadows flutter under the door, blocking the only light that enters the room. I scramble back on my hands and knees, scurrying to the furthest point away from the door although I know there's no point. They'll get me anyways.

I hear the heavy lock on the door turn and it creeks open. The bright light stings my eyes. I can hear them coming toward me out I can't see anything past the blinding light. I put my arms up to protect me but it's no use. Rough arms pick me up by the arms and another set of hand grab my legs.

My weak attempt at struggling doesn't work and I've known this since I got here but I can't sit still and just let them take me. They drag me out into the hall and I squeeze my eyes closed, protecting my eyes. After a few seconds I open my eyes and blink to adjust my eyes. Three men carry me down the quiet hall, the only sound is the struggling cries from my lips.

Each man is dressed in a crisp white costume. Almost like the uniforms worn in the hospitals. Each wear a crucifix necklace around their necks. They're clean shaved and they wear white doctors caps on their heads.