SHITS AND GIGGLES

I DONT LIKE THAT

I'm not giving a warning...but I already said if confusedotcom_it_me kills a person, I'm not going to take the blame...

Mkay. Well...I am not going to lie, I have a somewhat hour shaped Glass shape. I also have a butt. A somewhat chest. I look older than I do.....you know how painful it is?

Like walking down the street and getting stared at? It is horrible..

Anyways, these are gonna be stories why my mom needs a shotgun and a shovel with a big back yard.

We all know asshole. Asshole is a guy who is crushed on me. Like head over heels it seems and I wanna kill him sometimes.

So, one night the parents stepped out and it was me, baby, asshole, and his baby sister.

At a certain point, you wanna know what he did?

He had this like Slappy bracelet that you like slap it on your wrist and it's a bracelet?

Yeah well I got up to do something and he mofo hit my ass with it... All I did was give him a look and walked away calmly

(Five minutes later I smacked the absolute shit out of his brain)

I don't like that. You don't do that. I'm an innocent bean that will choke you if you do that.

Another time, I was on the phone in the car and I was wearing ripped jeans and a spaghetti strap shirt because I mean, why not?

We were at the gas station (me and my grandmother) and the..*what the fuck is he?* Gas person did what ever and started a conversation with my grandmother...

I was texting alright, I think it was me and who ever and at a point I like stopped because.....

Guy: hello, how is your night?

G-ma: it was good, thank you, how was yours

Guy: it was wonderful, hey is that your daughter?

G-ma: no, my granddaughter

Guy: oh well then, you are doing well

Me: *looks up and smiles in ackward moments* oh thank you

Guy: *looks at me for a few more seconds in the eye before removing the pump and we drove off*

Me: WHAT THE HELL DID THAT MEAN? I SWEAR, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING!

G-ma: it was your beauty! He-

Me: I DONT GIVE A FUCK, THATS A NO NO!

I legit screamed for about the rest of the car ride and we decided not to tell Mom....this dude looked as if he was in his 40's. But in the end I told and ranted.

You can say complements, fine. You can whistle. Whatever..just don't turn creepy nor touch. Because then I want to beat the shit out of you.

I can ask asshole if he likes to get necked, smacked, or kicked at. He'll probably say yes because I'm his crush but I mean, you get the point.