Euphoric but Empty

Phil

      Phil was bubbling with excitement about his late night conversation with Dan. After they finished playing their game they talked for almost 2 hours until Phil realized he probably needed to get to work on his homework. Phil had never cared too much about his grades but his mum sure as hell did. Phil especially didn't want to do homework last night though. Something about Dan just, intrigued Phil. He seemed to see the part of Phil he had gotten good at hiding. While others only see the mask, Dan sees the flawed figure underneath but never turns his back. Only one thing was completely clear in his mind. He has to see Dan again. Very soon.
      When Phil arrives at school, his head is spinning with thoughts of Dan. Just the thought of him is enough to put Phil in a very cheerful mood. His friends do not notice this as this is Phil's natural demeanor. Phil has lead people to believe that he is happy, inside and out. He doesn't want anyone to know about the dark thoughts that constantly burden him.
His first class is English. Phil loved English because if you write something down on paper it should come straight from your heart. When Phil wrote he usually wrote "fictional" stories about pain and sorrow. What nobody knows however, is that the stories he writes are loosely based on his own experience. He knows that he has a close to perfect life. Friends and family who love him, clean record, food on the table, and a roof over his head. But, Phil never really felt like he was living his truth.
His friend, Tom was waiting for him after class to walk to Art. Tom had been one of Phil's best friends since forever. Tom was mildly violent and dark sometimes but was happy and funny as hell usually.
"You're grinning Phil. What happened?" Tom asked. Sometimes Tom was the only one to see through Phil's lies.
"Nothing. I'm just really excited about the story I'm writing for English." Phil replied. He was only half lying. He knew that the story was believable enough because Phil is almost always excited to write his stories. He just wasn't ready to tell anyone about Dan. Not yet.
Phil was glad to finally have one good thing that was totally and completely his. He doesn't have to share Dan with any of his friends. Dan was Phil's best kept... well... second best kept secret.
      The rest of the day went by in a flash. Phil was pretty sure his friends had talked to him once or twice but Phil's mind was so full of Dan that he doesn't even remember the mundane answers he gave.
      Phil rushed home and didn't even acknowledge him mum on the way in. He just got on his phone to text Dan.
Phil: Hi
Phil waits 5 minutes before receiving word from Dan. It was a short wait, but to Phil it felt like an eternity, an eternity alone with his thoughts.
Dan: Hey
Phil: How was your day?
Dan: Alright I guess. Although, I must say the highlight was when you texted me :)
There he goes again with that smiley face. It was enough to make Phil's heart soar.
Phil: Do you want to play another game?
Phil: It's called 5 fast favorites. it's really fun my friend, Louise heard about it in the book Everything, Everything.
Dan: Ok fine. How do you play?
Phil: So I'll say 5 different categories and you have to say your favorite thing from each category. Ready?
Dan: Ready.
Phil: 5 fast favorites: band, color, season, place, and subject
Dan: Fall Out Boy, Black, Winter, Not Sure, and Art.
Phil: How do you not have a favorite place?
Dan: I don't know I just never found a place that mad me feel at home, you know? Well anyway, your turn. Answer the question!
Phil: Alright, Alright. Jeez. Fall Out Boy, Navy Blue, Fall, My Room, and English.
Dan: Ok. First of all AHHHHH YOU LIKE FALL OUT BOY. Second, Wow. So original. What's so special about your room?
Phil: Idk. I guess I like my room because I can be alone but I don't have to feel alone. That probably sounds weird.
Dan: No! I totally understand.
Phil: Oh good! I thought I sounded like a weirdo.
Dan: No not at all! Hey, do you want to come over sometime?
Phil was taken aback by the sudden statement. He was blushing ferociously. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the realization that Dan might reciprocate his feelings.
Phil: Yeah sure! That sounds great :)
Dan: Ok good. When do you want to meet?
Phil: What about tomorrow?
Dan: Yeah! That sounds perfect!
Phil: See you tomorrow!
Dan: See you tomorrow :)
Phil presses his phone to his heart. He was beaming and blushing at the same time. He couldn't get to sleep fast enough. He eagerly awaited the arrival of tomorrow.