Euphoric but Empty

Phil

Phil woke up with his mind screaming. He was in so much pain. Worthless. Freak. His mid plagued him with these thoughts. The darkness surrounds him, suffocating, drowning, it engulfs him. Even Dan's kind words of encouragement from earlier weren't enough to pull him out. He disentangled himself from his loving boyfriend and moved to a sitting position. He was having immense trouble breathing, his mind was racing, he felt the darkness swallowing every ounce of light... and then, all at once, he let go. He moved in a trance-like manner through the night. He was on the edge, both mentally and physically. He was on the bluff where him and Dan shared their first official date. The pure happiness of the memories was enough to snap Phil back to reality. He realized where he was and what he was about to do. he broke down, collapsed on the ground and began to sob hysterically. As he looked into the vast abyss at the bottom of cliff, he saw a reflection in the ocean. He saw the ugly creature his mind had warned his about. He began to beat himself in a hopeless rage. He felt worthless. He pulverized himself until the pain overwhelmed the feeling of worthlessness.
"Phil?!" A familiarly concerned voice calls from behind. Phil turns to see the chocolaty gaze of Dan Howell. His brown eyes tinged with sympathy and a hidden fear. He ran to Phil's shattered form, lovingly checking for signs of permanent damage. Phil returned to his shaking, sorrowing state at Dan's embrace. And only there, in his arms, did the pieces of Phil's dispirited form begin to heal. All the light slowly seeped back into his worlds. Only when it was fully lighted, did the world go black. The last thing he remembers is getting into an ambulance with an angel clinging desperately to his ghostly arm.