Pregnant By Luke Hemmings

Chapter 21

When I get to my room door I sit and wait for some kind of sound to come through. But there's nothing. I slowly and quietly open the door to see him hunched over on the side of my bed. My laptop sitting opened next to him.

"Luke?" My voice is hushed. I don't know what to expect. "Luke? Are you okay?" I ask again after he doesn't answer. I inch in further and finally realize his hands are up covering his face and he's sniffling. "Luke?" I ask a third time and he finally responds. But not with words. Instead, he reaches his arm out to me. Without a word I take his hand and he pulls me close. I resist for a moment until he speaks.

"Please." His voice is so frail and broken almost as if talking hurts more than whatever he's thinking.

I give in and let him pull me closer so that he's hugging my hips. His face buried into the spot right below my breasts. He's much taller than he was when I last saw him. Thicker too. With muscle that is. I never noticed that before. And his hair. He's always told me how much he hated growing his hair out because he couldn't stand when it got curly. But now, here he is. Hair almost at his shoulders, and filled with curls. Without thinking, I bring my hands up to his hair and run my fingers through as he lets himself go in my ocean blue blouse.

"I'm so sorry." He says when I feel him pull me closer.

"For what?" I ask curiously. Before answering me I feel his arms loosen around me and slide down so that his hands are on my hips. He pulls his head back so he can look me in the eyes before returning them to my navel area. He then lifts my blouse up just enough to see my stretch marks from when I was pregnant and kisses then.

Each and every one.

"Luke?" I say stopping him by grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me.

"I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did. Things would've gone so differently if I would've just let you speak. Or at least called you." He says after pulling my hand down and kissing the back of it.

"Luke, it went the way it did because I chose not to say anything, remember?" I try to assure him but he shakes his head.

"No, Emily. You don't get it. It went that way because I was a horny air-headed shitbag. I only broke up with you back then because I didn't wanna feel bad if I hooked up with another girl while on tour." He says genuinely pushing me back.

"What?" I ask in shock.

"I was so fucking stupid!" He says pulling at his own hair. "I gave up the girl of my dreams and mother of my child all because I couldn't keep my fucking dick in my pants!" He screams at himself and rush back to him pulling his hands from his head and wrapping my arms around him. "I was so fucking selfish." I feel him tremble and I hush him as I rub small circles on his back.

Then I look over and see the mini movie I made of all the videos and pictures I took of Cass from my pregnancy to now on my laptop scream with the replay symbol on it. He watched it.

"Emily, please forgive me. I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go." He says pulling away letting me see the tears running down his cheeks.

I've never seen him like this. His eyes burning red, his voice so broken and tender, and his heart flat out on his sleeves. I don't wanna see him like this anymore. I can't bare it. But I can't give in. Not until I know it's right. And right now definitely isn't right.

"Luke, listen. I forgive you. I really do." I say and he locks eyes with me.

"You do?" The hope in his eyes tugs at my heart but I must stay firm with him. People do change but never over night.

"Yes. I do. It's all in the past now. This is us, starting over for the sake of our son, yeah." I assure him and he nods.

"Thank you. I know you still don't trust me, but I promise you, I'll do whatever it take to fix this for us." He says and I have to refuse.

"Not for us." I say gesturing between us. "For him." I point to my laptop scream where a picture of a six month old Cass is smiling into the camera.

"For him." He sighs in defeat.