Burdened With Glorious Purpose.

Conversations.

"Whatever you do, never run back to what broke you." Frank Ocean.

-Aubrey's POV-

After I finished cleaning the kitchen, told Jarvis to turn the speakers off and ran to my room to grab a book I walked down the hallway and knocked on Loki's door.

"Come in." I heard him sigh. I twisted the knob and pushed the door open. I walked in plopped myself down on the bed across from him with my book and started reading.

After twenty minutes he looked up from his book and kept glancing at me. I looked up at him.

"What?"

He looked back down at his book, "Oh nothing."

"What is it?" I asked him. He looked at me with slight distaste.

"Nothing."

I rolled my eyes and stretched, my back popping in several different places.

The sleeves of my hoodie fell and revealed my arms and wrists.

Loki's eyes narrowed. He looked on with a certain curiosity.

"What are those?" He asked.

I looked away and quickly pulled my sleeves down, "Nothing." I picked my book back up and tried to forget about it, but he wouldn't tear his gaze from me.

He leaned forward.

I leaned back, his hand caught my wrist and he pulled my sleeve down, revealing the old scars of regret. His eyes met mine and I couldn't help but feel as though he was...worried

But he was a God, he couldn't have feelings for a mortal right?

Then again, Thor loved Jane.

I looked away, he ran his thumb over the white scars and tears welled in my eyes.

"What battles have you been through?" He asked I looked at him.

"A life-long one," I answered.

He looked at me, "Tell me, was this longer one," he traced over it with his index finger, I stifled a sob, "Is this the one you received when Banner broke your heart?"

I needed this, I needed to pour my heart out to someone other than Tony. Even if Loki could use it against me I didn't care, I wanted him to care, I wanted him to trust me.

"Bruce and I were together for four months before he proposed....he broke it off because he didn't want to hurt me...he didn't want to turn into the Hulk and risk killing me. I told him I could take care of it...that it wouldn't be a problem. He broke off the engagement five days before we were supposed to get married." I paused and messed with the corners of my book.

Loki's eyes stared into mine, listening intently.

I continued, "After that I lost it...I didn't think anything mattered...Nothing else mattered... Tony was pissed at Bruce, actually everyone was, hell, Bruce was pissed at himself." I felt a tear fall from my eye and disappear into my hoodie.
I sniffed.

"After three months of cutting left to right I decided that I would give up. So I took a knife, and cut down my wrist. I would have been successful had Tony not stopped by. I spent some time in the hospital, spent more time talking to a therapist and then I decided that I had to carry on. I cleaned up. I started working again full time, I started writing and art, I started singing lessons. I kept myself busy. And then you came and tried to take over. You almost killed Tony." I looked up at Loki.

"I knew I had to join the Avengers. Fury let me join. I might not have powers I might not be a God or a mutant. But I have intellect, I have skill. That's why I'm here. Even if seeing Bruce and Natasha flirt is like a kick in the teeth, even if I have bittersweet memories. I'm broken and I've helped broken people, but broken things can be fixed wether it be with glue or gold. " I looked down.

"That's actually why I feel compelled to help you. Thor has told me all about you, I've heard about you, how you want approval how you would destroy and take over other realms for it. But you don't need approval from Odin or anyone...I know you want to be Thor's equal and I know deep down inside you're a scared little boy and that's why you've done the things you have."

I felt him tense up. His jaw set. I grabbed my book and got up. I turned so that my back was facing him. I could feel him staring at me. Trying to dissect what was in my head. I looked over my shoulder.

"So, Loki of Asgard, if you want a friend...you have me to look for. And maybe, just maybe, I can cut through that cold, dark interior and bring out the boy that your family used to know."

With that, I walked out and returned to my own room. Feeling relieved yet worried about what might come.
Would he reject my offer to be his friend or would he let me in? Would it be a slow and timely thing or would it be quicker than that? I guess only time would tell. Time and persistence and stubbornness, lucky for me I had all of those things.

-Loki's POV-

I sat and stared blankly at my door for what seemed like an eternity.

She had tried to kill herself? But she seemed so..so happy, so joyous and grand all the time...Now that I think about it she had a certain shattered glass look in her eyes. Easy to obscure, difficult to get rid of.

I looked down and blinked slowly processing everything.
My heart thumped against my chest and suddenly I was overwhelmed with anger. Anger towards Banner for making such a delicate and beautiful creature want to die. Why was I having these thoughts? Why did I want to stick Banner's head on a pike? Why was I up on my feet turning my knob and going down the hall. Before I could knock on her door I heard laughter in the kitchen.

Slowly I walked out and peeked into the kitchen. Seeing Thor and Aubrey.
She was sitting on the counter and Thor was on her right. Grinning from ear to ear he said something and she laughed.

My heart thumped, my chest was tight and my face felt hot.

I sucked in a breath and retreated back down the hall into my room.

I hate having Midgardian feelings. If I were still a God I would have a will of iron, my heart in a block of ice...because that is what I learned to do after Thor threw me into the abyss...after I realized Odin would never give me the throne even if it was my birth right. And yet after all this time I still craved Odin's approval...I still wanted to be Thor's equal. I growled and shook my head.

Stupid Midgardian feelings...making me care for a mortal. Making me think I might actually have a...friend. But I can't let anyone in. I can't get hurt again. I won't. I refuse.

I looked down at my hand, seeing it turning a light blue. I blinked and looked back down, my hand was it's normal color.

With a sigh I stared at the New York skyline dreading everything that was to come.