Her Broken Soul

Unfamiliar and Scary

Mel's POV

I feel a cold breeze blow at my skin, and I open my eyes. It's pitch black, and I can't see a thing. I don't know how I got here, or where exactly here is. I stand up, and begin to navigate my way through the dark. As I am doing this, the memories of what happened last night come back to me. I remember the fight with Cameron, the text I sent him, and my overdose. My heart hurts, as  remember seeing Cameron's face filled with pain, and sorrow. I turn from the direction I was walking in, and sit down. 

As I'm sitting, I try to figure out where I am, and the only thing I can really think of, is that I died. I mean, it makes sense. Everything is cold, pitch black, and no one's around. It feels like something you would read in a book, except it's real. 

Suddenly, I'm filled with regret, and guilt. I don't know why I believed them when they told me those things, and I can't believe I took my own life because of it. What will happen to Cameron, will he care? I wish I could've told him about Taylor, and I wish I told him what was going on before it was too late. I then start thinking about Taylor, and how he's been doing. I wonder if he knows by now. I doubt he'll miss me, after all he hasn't talked to me since the accident. I can't believe I actually liked that jerk! 

I'm filled with so many emotions and I can't take it anymore. I break down crying, which turns into heart-racking sobs, and my heart hurts so much. I scream, and begin to hit the ground with my fists. I'm acting like a two year old, but I don't care. It's over, everything is over and it's all my fault.  After about an hour of this, I begin to grow extremely tired, so I laid down on the ground, and let my tears bring me closer to sleep. 

I open my eyes, but I'm not in the dark anymore, I'm in old room back in Oregon. The last time I was here, was when I was 5, and my parents were still alive. I close my eyes, and when I open them again, I'm in front of 7 year old Cameron, and he's stuffing his face with his mom's cookies. I laugh a little, and blink to make sure I'm seeing this right. The image begins to fade, and is replaced by my 7th grade year, when I met Wren in my art class. My eyes sting looking at this image, and I close them again hoping to change the image. When I open them again, I'm in a hospital room. I'm over by the window, and my body lays on the bed with multiple machines hooked up to me, and a breaking tube stuck in my throat. On the other side of the bed, I see Cameron silently sleeping, with his hand holding my almost lifeless hand.

I begin to creep towards the bed, and I peer over my body. I'm confused as to what's happening, but I know one thing for sure, and that is that I'm not dead. I'm filled with relief, and I start to cry. I walk over to where Cameron is, and I ruffle his hair. I look at his sleeping face pinched with worry, and I sigh thinking about how stupid I've been. I put my hand over his, and rub my thumb lightly against the back of it. I think he can feel this, because he shifts in his seat, and his face relaxes a little. I know that I need to wake up, but I don't know how to. 

I leave the room, taking one last glance at Cameron, and I begin to make my way down the hall. I leave the ICU, and begin to walk towards the maternity ward. I go to the nursery, and see a nurse wheeling a new one in. I turn, and begin to walk towards a window. The warm sunlight hits my face, and I have to squint to see. 

I stand like this for a minute, and then begin to make my way back to my room. When I get there, Cameron is awake, and looking at me. He leans in, and whispers, "Hey beautiful, it's morning now. Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for reacting like I did, but when you said you were moving, I felt like the world had dropped out from underneath me. You're everything I have, and I don't ever wanna loose you. I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't talk to me about your problems, you shouldn't of had to face that alone." He stops and rubs his hand over his face, and sighs, then continues talking, " I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can I just want to let you know, that you will never loose me, even if you tried. I just hope you wake up, I'm so scared. I should probably tell you this, but no one can find your foster mom. She never turned up for work, and hasn't been by the house at all." He sits back in his seat, and I process what he said. I can't believe she left, she was supposed to always be there for me!

I feel exhausted, and I sit down on the edge of the bed. It's been a very confusing and long day even though it isn't over yet. I close my eyes, and try to gain some energy back. When I open my eyes, I'm back in the dark, but I can hear noises, and I feel someone holding my hand. When they remove my hand from their grip, I hear a chair scrape back, and someone slowly walking away. I try to wiggle my fingers to show them that I am here, that I am awake but I can't. I try again, putting all of my strength into it. I felt my fingers move slightly, and that must've been enough to alert the person I'm awake. They called for the doctor, and I heard people rushing in. They were ushering me to open my eyes, but I couldn't, it was like they were glued shut, and I didn't have the energy, so I just laid there. Whoever it was who rushed into the room, turned to the other person, and told him that he must be mistaken, because I'm not awake.

I laid there for about an hour, drifting in and out of sleep in the process. It seemed like forever, before my strength came back. I don't know if that person is still in the room or not, I hope they are. I concentrate on opening my eyes, which took at least 5 minutes. When I did, I had to shut them quickly because the light was so bright. I opened them again, and blinked a couple times to get used to it. 

When I could see properly, I saw that Cameron wasn't here, and neither was anyone else. I reached with my left hand, and found the call button. I pressed it, and waited for them to come in. About a minute later, a male nurse around his late twenties, who had brown hair, and hazel eyes entered the room, accompanied by a female nurse who looked to be at least 25. She had platinum blonde hair, and bright green eyes. The female nurse's eyes shot up in shock, and left the room in a hurry. The male came over to the weird machine, and started checking my vitals. He then wrote it on his clip board. A guy in a white coat entered, I assume the doctor, and the female nurse followed behind him.

"Hi Melissa, I am Dr. Lang. He then pointed to the male nurse and introduced him as Jake, and then pointed to the female who introduced herself as Amber. I nodded my head in understanding, and the doctor came over to my machines and started looking at stuff. After a minute, he turned to me and said, "Okay Melissa, I'm going to take the breathing tube out now that you can breathe on your own okay? Now, it's gonna hurt so we're gonna give you some morphine first." I nodded again because I couldn't talk, and felt a stinging sensation in my arm as they inserted the vile of morphine into the tube in my arm. They left the room to let the morphine take effect, and said that they would be back in 5 minutes.

After 5 minutes they returned as promised, and began prepping to take the tube out. When they were ready, they instructed me to sit back with my head against the pillow, and then they took the remote and elevated the bed so I was sitting instead of laying down. They then took the tube out as I watched. I didn't feel much pain thanks to the med, but once it was out, my throat burned. The female nurse walked out, and returned with a cup of water. She instructed me to drink, and I did. The water was cold, but it took the burning sensation away. When I could talk, I asked the nurse, "Do you know where my friend is?" 

Nurse Amber took the cup, and set it on the table, as the other two left, then she turned to me and said, "He went home to rest, he'll be back tomorrow hun. Are you hungry?" I said yes, and she gave me a piece of paper from the table beside me, and it was a menu for the cafeteria. I looked it over, and decided that I wanted Sprite, and a hamburger with fries, and pudding. She picked up the phone and placed the order. When she got off the phone, she gave me the remote to the television, and went back to the nurses station. I turned on the t.v. and started watching some Criminal Minds. The food arrived about 15 minutes later, and I ate while watching t.v. When I was done, I was tired again, so I pressed the button on the remote and put my bed down so I was laying down. With the t.v. still on, I fell asleep. For the first time, I felt safe and at peace, I just hope it stays like that.