Gintama; Takasugi x reader {Ephemeral Moments}

Chapter 19 {Kijima Matako}

The guy exchanges a glance with me. I gesture with my chin and lightly step to where the hallway light won't betray my shadow. It's late night. Most of the crews have gone to sleep and a few are up on vigil. This guy now is just one I happen to come across in the kitchen.

He raises a hand and knocks. Soon later the door answers from the inside, revealing the darkness of the room.

     "Your tea," he says to that girl, handing her the tray on which sits a cup of tea. It's been made exclusively for this occasion.

     "Tea? I didn't..." responds the wretch. I can't see her from where I am and neither she can me.

    "Commander's order," the guy lies.

Somehow it takes her a whole minute to consider on taking the tray that I nearly snap out of patience. "Thank you," she says later. Her hands reach out to accept before disappearing back into the room.

I don't hear the door shutting when the guy I employed walks away, having his role done. I allow some moment to pass between first. Then I casually step out from the shade and stop before her room.

Light from the corridor casts into the small cabin. The girl huddles in the middle, back to me, seeming to be wiping her face. The tea rests beside her, steaming. I catch something bulky at the corner of my eye.

     "The hell is that for?" I say, staring dumbfounded at the shelf along with the collection of books. The girl whips to me, startled. Her face, brightened slightly, looks red and puffy as if she's been crying. Her hair's a total mess.

She turns back around and continues to dab her face. Her lack of speech ticks one of my nerves.

     "Who do you think you are anyway?" I say, stepping into the room. "You think you can just come and freeload like this is some cruise ship?"

Straightening, the girl clears her throat. "No," she says and faces me. "When I came I did in fact intend to help around some chores, but then I was accused of being a spy. After that I could barely walk out of my room without feeling like being watched."

Her face and tone piss me off no less. "Don't even think that because you helped Shinsuke-sama once we will trust you," I snap back. "There are too many incidents that had happened after you boarded this ship that were too perfect to be mere coincidences. And you have no evidence that you weren't behind each."

She might not have, but I've gotten enough evidence of mine. I give her a look, daring her to deny the fact that the Naraku was here on a lead that had not come from her. "Whatever you want with Shinsuke-sama, don't think that you would even reach him," I add.

Her blank unknowing expression suddenly sours. She tries to mask it, but the trace is there. "You would protect him, at all cost," she mutters, looking at the floor.

     "Damn right," I approve, threat edged to my voice. "I've dedicated my life into protecting him and fulfilling his wish. Anything that stands against him I will eradicate without fail. And that includes you."

She shakes her head subtly. Her eyes when holding mine are troubled. "What's left after total destruction?" she questions. "Would you help him in destroying himself too, in the end?"

I bristle. For a moment I'm taken back at the familiarity of the words.

In that case, why don't you try and shoot yourself in the head with that gun? That's the kind of thing I'm trying to do.

That was the first response I received from Shinsuke-sama long ago that night, back when I was just a helpless and powerless little girl. Having my dear ones lost to me to this wretched country, vengeance was and always has been my only salvation. And the one who gave me strength to fight and a place to belong was none other than him.

     "I will be with him until our goal is achieved and beyond," I say, emotion making my voice quiet.

     "If you want to protect him," the girl says, watching me, "why not protect him even if it means going against him?" She shakes her head again and adds before I can answer, "I guess you wouldn't be here in that case."

She gazes down at the teacup, now no longer hot. I maintain a neutral expression when she picks it up. But she only holds it in her hand, staring at it as if she's sensed something, though her face betrays nothing.

     "As for me," she says, jarring my thoughts. "It seems I lack the ability to do either. I can neither fight against nor with him to protect him. I'm too weak, and the weak obstacle will disappear."

I look at her in confusion. It might be my own mistake, but there's an edge to her voice in which she speaks that I can't pinpoint. She continues to study the teacup in her palm, her eyes lowered as if defeated. Then her gaze flicks to me. I tense.

     "Well," she continues heartily, "I've never intended to stand in his away from the beginning anyway." She smiles.

The look on her face nearly makes me want to snatch the teacup away from her hand. But I stand my ground and swallow up my confusion. The girl looks at the tea, the small smile slowly vanishing. Then she lifts it to her mouth and drinks.