Gintama; Takasugi x reader {Ephemeral Moments}

Chapter 21 {Ephemeral Moments}

Y/N. Wake up, Y/N.

     "Y/N!"

The hazy voice calling my name gradually materializes into reality. My eyes flutter.

Extreme brightness attacks my vision. I shut my eyes for another moment, adjusting to the light. A silhouette leans over to me. Soon my sight clears to the image of a man with gentle features, dressed in white. The doctor.

I come awake to my senses. Though I wish I hadn't. I flinch at the sudden surge of pain so raw my head spins. The doctor speaks something, but his words are indistinct sounds to my ears until I can feel beyond the wave of hurt.

     "I'm sorry, but there's nothing more I can do," he says, expression woven in grimness. "The poison has already entered your vital organs. But Y/N-chan, where did you obtain it from?"

I blink at him, unable to think of anything more than to draw one shallow breath after another. Behind him, white folding screens act as three walls encompassing us in a little privacy. This must be the infirmary. The air smells of medicines and cold rooms. There are stirs of other patients throughout talking in hushed tones. I recall a faint memory of Bansai carrying me. The battle must have been over long ago.

I return to the doctor. He looks at me with the same concerned eyes, waiting for me patiently. "Thank you for helping me," I try to reassure, but my voice comes out too weak. "You have done enough, sensei."

He seems about to say something more until a shuffle of the left curtain takes his words. He turns to it. Someone enters. I incline my head to the left, and can't help but stare. The doctor steps away from my bed and silently excuses himself, but not before giving a disappointed shake of his head toward Shinsuke. He watches him go.

I study him for a moment, searching for any injuries and ease when there is none. "I'm glad you're unhurt," I say to him.

He turns to me, his eye raking my form. A blade hangs loosely in his grip. "Why did you come?" he asks later, clipped.

I realize that he meant earlier. "I don't want to see you hurt," I reply. The awful memory of him lying unmoving still haunts my nights. "I can't have you anywhere near that state again if I can help it." 

     "But you can have this?" His gaze indicates to my bed-ridden self. I look at myself.

I've been changed into fresh clothes. A white blanket covers up to my chest, smelling faintly of soap. Strangely, despite the accumulated warmth beneath the sheet my body still quivers.

     "You once gave me two choices," I mutter, glancing to him. "To die for you or against you. I hope this time I've made it clear."

His brows furrow into a displeased frown. "And you got yourself involved for that ridiculous reason?"

     "If I could protect you from a single damage, then I wouldn't mind if it's a ridiculous reason." I catch a slightly change in stony his expression, and wish he would come closer. "I may not agree to your cause," I add, "but I've never posed as a threat."

He holds my eyes for awhile. Then he sets the blade down against the wall. His tone is neutral when he says, "In the end, I still can't figure what you're doing here."

I follow his movement until he stops at an arm's reach distance from me. Should I had the strength to bring my arms around him once again like that night, maybe it would have been easier. I hadn't think I would be spared with another moment with him. But as my condition now that moment won't be long.

     "Would you hear my reason?" I whisper. I withdraw a hand from beneath the blanket and beckons him to come closer. The chill of the room instantly sends a shiver down to my spine.

He does as I wish, cutting off every last hateful gap between us and settles on the bed beside me. "I'm sorry, but I really don't have the strength," I say. He hesitates shortly, before relenting and leans lower into my welcoming palm.

His warmth is like a reminder of being alive. It seeps into my skin and blazes my slowly beating heart. My fingers go behind his neck and lightly guides him down to me. He stiffens when my lips touches his cheek in a soft kiss.

I loosen my grip. He draws away, looking taken back, but doesn't reject my hold on his face. I want to smile at the new expression, yet instead a thick lump rises up my throat.

I speak over it. "I'm just an ordinary girl with a worrisome attraction to danger. I've been warned of a certain rebel who I must at all cost be wary of. My interest grew by each day as I heard more about him. But when I finally got the chance to see him, I'm already..." My voice fails as tears escape down the corners of my eyes. His face blurs. I clutch onto him with my hand as if he were my last minute.

I put effort into taking a deep breath, swallowing to make my voice coherent. "But between those moments I was able to meet you all. What they think and did to me they did it to protect their general." I blink the tears away in order to behold him. Already as I feel my body failing, pain ceases to a low hum alongside the beat of my heart.

     "You have found wonderful people around you, Shinsuke," I manage over the sob. "Just that if I were to be able to stand beside you too...that would have been perfect."

I feel his jaws tense. "Didn't you say you don't agree to what I'm doing?" he says mildly. Too mildly that it stimulates the ache of my chest. His face softens in my hold. A trace of a smile visible on his lips.

A single tear slides down from my eye as I smile. "Perhaps next life," I breathe out, "I wish to gaze at the moon with you...as your partner."

My thumb hovers over his cheek. The look on his face fulfills the vacancy in me as I draw the next breath. And I could feel no more.

_________________

Her hand falls away.

I look to her face. Her closed eyes make it seem as if she's simply asleep. Serenity coats her ashen features, her lips pursed to a neutral line, the familiar smile gone. Even in the last moments she still appears saddened.

I tuck her hand into the blanket. Wrongness shouts from the coldness of her skin. Yet I remember her grip had always been cool, like late autumn breeze. Light reflects on the moisture on her face.

I reach to wipe the tears away. "Don't worry," I say quietly to her. "No matter how long, the moon will forever rise."