Finger Paintings • gallavich

Reconstruction

Ian had called off work for the past two days and he was doing the same thing again today. He just couldn't seem to get out of bed. He had been in the same pair of clothes for days now and his hair was messy from rolling around restlessly all night. Ian couldn't tell if it was the bipolar keeping him in bed or the heartbreak. Or maybe it was a mixture of both.

There was a knock on his door and he slowly cracks his eyes open. "What?" He groans. Lip walks in a pitiful smile on his face.

"What's up, man? You feeling any better?"

Ian tried to shrug but couldn't find the energy in him to even do that.  "Not at all."

Lip nods and sits down on the edge of his bed. "Why don't you try going for a run today? You haven't gone in a while."

Ian shakes his head. "Not feeling up to it right now. Maybe tomorrow or something," he lies. Ian knew he'd be lucky if he made it down to the kitchen today. The farthest he had gone was the bathroom. Lip had brought him food up and tried to get him to change and shower but Ian couldn't find the energy to do so. All that was on his mind was pale skin and deep blue eyes. An image of the man he loved, but know he wasn't so sure if he was loved back.

"Listen, Ian. This is bullshit. I get it if you're feeling depressed again because the meds aren't working. And if that's the case then I'll take you to the doctor right now. But if you're staying in bed because that piece of shit broke it off with you, then you need to get your ass up and moving again. He wasn't any good for you anyways."

Ian glares at him. "I know he was an asshole... and stubborn and whatever else bad shit you're probably thinking about him. But I loved him because when I was around him there were other things to him than just bad. He was kind and funny and kind of a dork too. I just... I just really fucking loved him, Lip. I don't know what to do know," he says, eyes watering up.

Lip let's out a sigh. He scoots up closer to Ian on the bed and looks down at him. "Listen, I know it sucks. Trust me I felt the same way when Karen and I broke things off. But you're better off this way, Ian. In a day or two I'm sure you'll get over him," he says, standing up. "I'll be downstairs, okay? Holler if you need anything."

Ian nods. He knew it wouldn't be a day or two and he'd be over Mickey. He knew it would take much longer than that and he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it. Sure this was his first real relationship before but Ian could just feel it was something more than a short thing. To him, it was meant to last.

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By the time Mickey had finished his first shift at work, he was completely exhausted. He was at work from 11 am until 10 pm. It was the first time he had had a real job in... Well, it was the first time he had ever had a real job. And it felt weird yet refreshing. But he knew he was missing something. And that something was Ian. Because he found himself wanting nothing more than to strip down to his boxers and climb into bed with that red-headed dork. But thanks to Mickey's cowardliness, he couldn't.

He let out a heavy sigh as he quietly shut the front door behind him. It was a school night which meant Yev had gone to bed at least a half an hour ago, but it was still early enough that Terry was probably off drinking and sect doing God knows what. So an exhausted Mickey kicked his shoes off and shuffled to his room. He heard the shower on in his bathroom where Svet probably was but he paid no mind to it. He flopped down onto the bed and let out a loud angry groan. All day he had been angry at himself for fucking up so much all the time. He had constantly let Terry push him around and control him and now Svetlana was doing the same thing. But he was done. He was done letting other people control what he did. He was ready to do what he wanted in life and what made him happy. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and brought up Ian's contact. Without a second thought, he typed up a text and sent it.

{Mickey 10:37} I'm an asshole.

Mickey was honestly expecting his text to go unread. Never to be opened or responded to. But he was surprised when he felt it vibrate in his hand.

{Ian 10:40} a huge one

{Mickey 10:42} Listen, you're right. I'm the biggest asshole on the planet and I get that. I dunno why I did any of this. No, actually I do know why... I did it Bc I'm a fucking pussy. I was letting my dad get to me. I was letting everyone else control me and I didn't fight back once. But I'm done with that shit. I'm so fucking sorry Ian.

He sets his phone down on his stomach and runs his hands over his face. Mickey felt them tremble slightly as his eyes watered up. He was afraid it was too late to fix things between him and Ian.

{Ian 10:45} I'm willing to help you if you'll just let me Mick. Hell I want to help you more than anything.

{Mickey 10:45} and I want ur help now Ian. I fucking need it more than anything

{Ian 10:49} like I said, ur right about being a complete and utter asshole. But I still love u and accept the fact that ur a major dick. I'm willing to give whatever we have a second shot if you are.

Mickey couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he read the text. He had no idea what he did to deserve a man so great.

{Mickey 10:51} definitely want a second go at this. Ur the fucking best ian. See u tomorrow? I work but u could come over at seven when I get off.

{Ian 10:53} see you tomorrow. I love you. Asshole.

Mickey grins.

{Mickey 10:55} love you too carrot top.