Celestial Wulf Chronicles: Trapped

Mate

Crimson sees me brooding at first not interrupting. He is saying something but I was not paying attention to him. Remaining deeply lost in my own thoughts. Keeping the sunroof and windows open fully. Exposing me to the wind, pressing hard against my face while driving northbound on Major Deegan. The drive will be a long one. Three hours, plenty of time to think as I head home from yet another Wulf conference and no mate. For the past fourteen years. Year after painful year I have sought you out. Attending every Wulf gathering whether local or nationally and now, in my search, internationally. Still year after every fucking year my results are the same, empty and with time running out.

Instead of finding my mate. I only receive the latest supernatural events and happenings on "supes". At 39 human years, finding myself still mateless, I'm becoming unintentionally resentful and envious of others I see, fortunate to have found and bonded with theirs. The reflection of happiness in their eyes, the powerful aura I see. It's feeling I can only describe as being at peace and no longer restless. They've become whole having each other and in turn, with the world around them. Something I never gave a dam about before. But now that dream, I have changed my outlook. It's been 12 years since I've had sex since having that dream.

A simple dream, continuing every night for two months, changed me. In it, I saw the wulf whom I know is my mate. In my eyes it the most beautiful she-wulf I will ever yearn for. Her coat white with black-tufted ears, muzzle, feet, and tail radiated gentle electrical currents flowing softly down to her tail. Her eyes, silver orbs of heaven as they met mine. In my dream, she stood on the otherside of a cascading river looking up to me. SHE, is my mate and she alone will have me. Because of it, I've refrained from having sex with others.

The reason is simple, I want it to be with my mate and only my mate from now on. The Wulf I dreamt of fourteen years ago. Leaving me to wonder when? When will I come to know it? To know their touch, see their smile, smell their scent. The desire to know both their laughter & their voice. A level of happiness & love from being with one's destined mate? I WILL NOT BE DENIED, MY MATE. I Growl from the possibility of my next thought. That the possible meaning of these words "My Mate", is not meant for me to experience. With all the heartaches I have caused, empty promises of coming back just to get some ass.

Yea, This is my payback.

Obsessing over a dream wulf I hope to meet. Feeling the warmth of their kiss, seeing a look from their eyes. It's mesning only I would know. To sleep beside my mate curled in my arms. Or enjoying a morning conversation over a cup of coffee with them.

Hell, even to have a fight! I WILL TAKE THAT! I hear that makeup sex is soo WORTH IT! I huff a chuckle at my last thought. When our wulf heat takes over us on the full moon. Mating is dangerous for a wulf. Prior to this, we often mate freely without a care. I smile at my record..... I know have. My motto was, if it moved and I wanted it, I charmed it, then BAGGED IT then QUICKLY DUMPED IT!

BUT once we find our mate, I am told we lose our senses becoming capable of killing ANYONE standing even to close with our mate. As crazy as that sounds, I want that feeling. The one wulf who I am destined for by the GODDESS herself to complete me as I will them. The only one I will see despite only me and me them. I see it in my parents and now, I want to know that. Yet still, the question remains why? Why can't you feel the pull that comes with our mate bond? The urge which awakens in supes guiding us to our mates when they are close. How far are you mate? Why can't you sense me mate or me you? Why? Then the memory of visiting my hometown in Cuba plays returns. Reminding me of why.

At mommy's insistence, I visited a mystic seer. The seer's message foretelling a darkness clouding my mates' mind preventing them from sensing me. She informed me of two spells placed on my mate as the cause. But why? Who would do something so cruel? My blood begins boiling as I remember. Yet my resolve is even crueler. I mumble it to myself continuing my drive northbound "Whoever is responsible will die for such cruelty done to us my love I promise."