SETTLE DOWN, matty healy

Chapter 9: UGH!

The bell rang as I walked through the door, my nose in the middle of my journal as I was took caught up in the middle of the sketch. My instructor said nothing as the class has yet to start, allowing for me to catch up on sketches to coincide with my poetry. "You're an artist too?" I heard Colin ask from over my shoulder.

Being too caught up in my own bubble of creativity, I rudely ignored him yet again and noticed him think to himself for a moment or so. "I think it's pretty impressive," He mentioned.

"And I think you're pretty cute," I spoke aloud, stopping myself for a second on realizing what I said and began to turn red in embarrassment, "I meant, impressive. Sorry, impressive."

I saw him only chuckle as a response, a slight blush growing on his cheeks. "I'd say the person creating the art is pretty cute herself, but I don't know if that would be too forward," He suggested.

Shaking my head, I grinned up to him. "Well, it isn't too forward at all actually."

Ms. Verellen began lecturing quite suddenly after this interaction, leaving the usual silence between us to be uneasy now. There's be quick glances exchanged, but neither of us continued to pursue the other even after the bell rang and excused us to our next period.

My own thoughts seemed to grow foggy after the exchange and I was left completely dazed even in the presence of great literature in fourth period. Anna seemed to catch onto this quickly, snapping her fingers to grab my attention away from my own world I seemed to have made for myself. "Are you okay? You haven't said a word."

I slowly opened my mouth to tell her the exasperating the tale and slowly shut it, realizing I could tell her in peace during lunch and without anyone in particular hearing the conversation. So I waved her off and said I'd tell her later, now noticing Mr. Healy give me a side eye for talking in the midst of his discussion. However, he didn't call me out for such as he would do with most students and simply went on discussing the final words in Shelley's Frankenstein that seemed to be of no importance to me today.

The bell signaling lunch arrived with such relief  to which Anna began shaking me out of my perpetual state of confusion, begging for answers. Ryder met up with us in the midst of beginning my tale, looking to me distastefully. "If you're so desperate for a date to homecoming Emma, you don't have to be. We were only kidding-"

"Are you kidding? This is good for her! I don't think I've ever heard her call a boy cute to his face," Anna said in surprise and raised a brow to me while she clapped, "I am so proud of this new moment for you."

"Yes, well, such does not excuse our seemingly awkward silence soon after that moment now does it?" I said and rolled my eyes, "Besides, I was done going through high school without drooling boys, what the hell."

Ryder chuckled at the comment as she emerged in her student pin to get lunch. "And it is this that I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, if you do genuinely think he is cute, then I don't see why you can't just stop the act and fall for the drooling boy." I stood there for a second after she said this and wondered exactly what it was that bothered me so much that I thought Colin was even the slightest cute and that he seemed to think of me.

'Course, it didn't take me long to realize what it was that made me feel so wrong about it.

Anna looked to me, her face showing she was in the midst of deep thought as she grabbed herself a milk carton from the bin. "Ah, Em', your mind proves to be too complicated for any of us to try and comprehend. I just hope you don't try to stop things that can turn out to be a good experience for you."

***

My sketchbook now sat in my lap, my journal still tucked away in my bag as I didn't see the point of writing anything today and rather began to sketch. Some Vivaldi played in the background as I simply sketched whatever I had running across my mind at the moment, which apparently seemed to be forceful, dark eyes.

I stopped for a second and sighed, looking at the image closely to remember the encounter the summer before the school year started. As much as I knew whatever I thought was there wasn't true, I still couldn't help but to have my thoughts run back towards him, no matter what. The eyes then lead to a sketch of a face to a detailed drawing of curls, causing for me to ultimately shut the book and set it aside.

I tucked my knees in instead, staring outside my window for a second to distract myself. The trees and passing clouds proved to be sufficient and I simply tried to carry on doing tedious schoolwork for the rest of the day I still had.

A/N THIS IS A FILLER HONESTLY, SORRY LOL I AM TRYING TO UPDATE I SWEAR

~ Jame Smith 💋