SETTLE DOWN, matty healy

Chapter 20: Heart Out

The therapist awaited for my response expectantly as I looked on in pure annoyance. "I'm healthy now. I don't know why it's so hard for my parents to believe that and why I have to even keep coming here," I told Dr. Garland, sitting back in my seat in the midst of my fit.

She frowned slightly to me, clutching her notepad close to her chest. "Perhaps it's because you were perfectly healthy before everything happened as well." She sighed solemnly, causing for me to fidget with the ends of Matty's grey, knitted sweater as I tried to calm myself. "Parents who have children who have faced the things like you have tend to take more precautions in fear of it occurring again."

I thought this over for a moment. "But I wasn't healthy then? It was my parents just thinking I was because they never noticed or thought to ask. Them asking me constantly now just makes me feel smothered more than anything," I admitted, eyeing the movement of her pen in pure anxiousness, "I just want them to believe me this time around when I say I'm fine and only grow worried when any signs prove it necessary."

Garland nodded in agreement with these simple requests and gave me a small smile. "It's a reasonable thing to ask for I would say. I'll help you with doing so, Emma don't worry."

***

Ryder looked up to me from her easel and frowned slightly. "Emma, I know we lied to ourselves and our parents by saying we were going to be studying up here so that we could hang out, but you look more down than usual," She noticed, moving from her spot so she could sit beside me.

I only chuckled at this as I brushed the comment off. "It's just my parent's being overprotective as usual. Makes it hard for me to breath sometimes."

Ryder laughed along with me at this. "Yea, I think I can understand where you're coming from." The two of us sat in silent for a moment before she handed me the paintbrushes I had brought along with me. "Happy, little trees Emma. Our lives need a little more happy little trees." I couldn't help to laugh wholeheartedly at her Bob Ross reference, taking my watercolors out to apply them to my own sketchbook drawing as she went back to her paints at her easel.

Anna came in suddenly with a tray of cookies to find us focused in our own works and I looked up to see her pout slightly. Ryder noticed this as well and took her arm to have her take a seat. "You can be my muse, Anna. It's alright."

She beamed at this, making me roll my eyes as she fixed herself up. "About damn time one of you painted me, I swear." Ryder rolled her eyes at this as I laughed from my seat on her bed, encompassing myself in my own artwork.

'Course it's always the happy, little trees. Nature is the only thing to opiate this hazy head of mine whenever I'm as troubled as I've been these past few days. The only other thing being a certain adorable dork I can't bare to ever want to part with.

Anna looked to Ryder's easel in awe once she finished and I raised a brow to her. "If you want to paint just watch some Bob Ross videos, Ann," I mentioned to her.

She sighed deeply, kissing the top of Ryder and mine's heads in amusement. "Now dear why would I do that when it's so much more fun being a muse?"

"I won't ask you next time if you're going to be like that you know," Ryder warned her as she raised her arms in defense, "Have Emerson here do it next time."

Anna plopped herself down next to me, eyeing my sketch pad with a small chuckle. "And keep her away from her landscapes? Nah, now that'd be a shame."

She began looking through the rest of the pages prior, having me grow aware of what I had drawn before. "Wait Anna I don't think-"

The page she left of on was of Matty, obviously that I had drawn the last time I was at his place, but from the darkening of the image I'd doubt she'd know it was him.

I waited for her to say something cautiously, only having her and Ryder turn to me interested. "Who's the mysterious figure then?"

Ryder raised a brow to me as well. "All dark shades, seems like it's a secret you're trying to hide from your dearest friends who is this?"

Abort mission. Abort.

I took the pad from them, looking to the two as if they were being insane. "Just a stranger I drew when I was out one day while they were smoking. Thought the image was inspiring."

Anna shook her head, unconvinced. "Man in a cloud of smoke you just so happened to want to draw? See, you stopping to draw a flower or lake I can believe but a person-" Her and Ryder exchanged a look before she turned back to me. "I'm not so sure that's all that believable now who's the man?"

"Like I told you it's-"

"It's Mr. Healy." Ryder held the pad closely, the amount of focus from trying to deduce the image visible in her eyes. "You can tell from the curls."

Anna chuckled at this and looked to me surprised. "Thought you got over him?"

"I did," I lied to them, "Doesn't mean I don't find his features well enough to draw. He's got a pretty face, what did you expect? Even Ms. Frangipane has drawn him and the two are close friends and all."

Oh fuck.

The two of them looked to me wide-eyed as I shut my mouth slowly. "I didn't know they were good friends? You'd think you'd hear something like that around the gossiping," Ryder mentioned, "How do you know that?"

"I heard it? Thought everyone knew," I lied again, seeing Anna tilting her head to me interested as I put away my sketch pad.

She chuckled, though from the look she was giving me I knew I'd be questioned for it soon enough. "Yeah, I remember hearing that actually."

***

Anna drove through the night quietly, not even bothering to turn on the radio as she gave me a ride back home. "There's something you're not telling Ryder and I? Isn't there?" I turned to her instantly, seeing her eyes fixated on the road. "If you're going to tell someone about it you might as well tell me. Can't have you bottling up your pent up admiration-"

"I'm dating Mr. Healy," I admitted, shutting my eyes tightly as a small weight seemed to fall off my shoulders from saying it aloud.

However the sudden pulling over and parking of the car caused for me to look to a stunned Anna, facing me properly from her driver's seat. "You're what?"