SETTLE DOWN, matty healy

Chapter 19: Facedown

Song Selection: Always Remember Us this Way by Lady Gaga

The sun begins to rise slowly to the skies.
I look out from the window cautiously,
Never feeling more at home than in your arms.
The colors begin to mix swiftly in the sky,
Like the creamer you pour into my coffee.
Clouds begin to materialize in puffs,
Just as I arrange the bed once again.
Your eyes gaze up to me for a second,
And I feel as if the sunshine is with me in my living room.
You smile up to me as you get ready for your day,
And any sorrow I once had seems to fade away.
I thought myself to be a moon,
Until I met you,
The sun,
And I fell in love with someone more wholesome than me.
The sunshine may be leaking out
Onto the morning sky
But it's nothing compared
To looking into your eyes.

Matty continued to pour the coffee into the travel mug as I chuckled whilst reading his writing. "Dear Shakespeare you do surprise me," I told him, looking up from his journal.

He smiled charmingly over to me, handing me my morning coffee. "I get up early and write every now and then." He paused, looking down to me as I sipped the cup. "Just needed some good inspiration. Now c'mon we have to find a way to have us enter the school somehow without causing suspicions."

I grabbed the little things I had brought, slinging my backpack onto my shoulder as I paired one of Matty's t-shirt with my jeans I had worn last night. "I can just take the walk I usually do anyways. Not like you have to drop me off right at the school."

He chuckled at this, cupping my cheeks with a small smile. "I'll just park towards the back and you can head out first." He grabbed his things as well as I followed him out of the apartment. "Besides you picked a t-shirt of all things from my closet instead of a sweater and I don't want you getting sick."

I looked to him with content, seeing him genuinely wanting to care for me and understanding me; a feeling most foreign to me. "Ah Matty. Just a big 'ol softie," I teased him, taking his hand as we walked down the steps towards his car.

"This softie was going to take you to a park after school today for a picnic because he knows how at peace you feel with the trees." He eyed me for a second and raised his brow. "But I guess we don't have to go anyways."

I rolled my eyes at this, leaning into his arm. "God you know I love you so shut up and stop being so sensitive," I told him to make him laugh hysterically, kissing the top of my head sweetly.

***

As cliché as it were, the smell of him continued to come off the shirt even as I wore it for the rest of the school day. The small secret itself left me smiling for no apparent reason it seemed to Ryder and Anna as they eyed me concerned as the three of us sat out by the baseball field during our lunch. "Bubbly. Now why is my young child being bubbly today and not contemplating the very existence of life this afternoon," Ryder mentioned, causing for Anna to chuckle at the comment

"Bubbly is my thing. Can't have balance here if you're being more cheery than me." She leaned forward to face me eye to eye. "Are you hiding something from us dear, Emma?"

I raised my brow, unphased. "Teenagers these days, always so suspicious. You both always encourage me to be a little more jolly after all," I told them, "Besides, if I'm happy isn't that all that matters?"

The the two them gave each other a glance before turning back to me. "This time, it's acceptable. No more easy giveaways there, kiddo," Anna told me and I raised my arms in defense, causing for the three of us to laugh hysterically at this.

'Course to not tell them everything nowadays should've stopped gnawing at me these days after it having gone on for a good amount of time now, but such never seemed to be true.

The day lingered on to end with me running errands for Mrs. Eastwood during 6th period all through the time, simply leaving me to roam the now quiet halls of the last classes of the day. It wasn't until the bell sounded that my silence was soon broken by kids rushing out the doors, running past me in a hurry as I was simply met in a surprised standstill. I soon broke from this and eventually grabbed my things from Eastwood's classroom, bidding her farewell before coming to the realization of what I would face if I were to come home.

I looked down to my cell, seeing the messages I had muted since arriving to Matty's last night and groaned deeply at the thought.

Emma come home straight afterschool. We need to talk. -Mom

My fingers hovered over the text message as I began to think through something clever to say. That is, until a new message popped onto my screen to interrupt my train of thought.

Hey, meet me by my car again as soon as you're done. We've got plans today, sweet :) ~W.S.

I beamed happily at the new message, ignoring my mother's words entirely at this point and only thinking of what I wanted anymore these days.

On my way. ~R.W.E.

***

My loafers crunched the leaves that still lay on the ground from the previous change of fall to winter. I clutched onto the sweatshirt tightly, feeling a breeze catch me and move on to whistle through the branches of the trees above me. "You're right, I needed this," I said and turned back to Matty sitting on an old tree stump.

He tilted his head to me with a small smile, still looking to me concerned. "Anything to cheer you up." He sighed though, standing by me now to wrap me in his arms. " 'Course I did bring you here to tell you you can't hide from everything forever."

I pouted up to him childishly. "Can't I just stay another night with you?" He raised a brow to me amused as I groaned in annoyance. "They're so dim on what's wrong with me that it's exhausting."

Matty sighed at this, the two of us silently looking up to the singing trees above us with their bare branches and still, dead leaves. "It's a work in progress. It always is. They're lying facedown in their own ignorance, you just need to talk to them."

"You make it sound so simple," I said in distaste, leaving him to kick a few of the leaves left and send them up into the air.

"It could be simple, you know. You just haven't found out for yourself quite yet."

I turned back to him standing there for a second, a scarf tucked into his coat and his curls sitting beside him and how it hurts to say goodbye to someone who understands what it's like to lose your head and still love you for it; to have someone find the light inside of you that you didn't know you had anymore.

God just let me savour this a little longer.

I nodded in agreement to him, lacing my arms around him. "You're right." He smiled proudly soon after, only leaving me to raise a brow to him with a small smirk. "But maybe I don't have to go back today?"

He kissed me quickly, eyeing me sternly. "Today, Emma. I love you and I'd love to have you with me even more, but you have to go back home."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. Alright."

I leaned up to kiss him again, having him deepen it a little while longer.