Only One

Chapter Two

[edited]
I got out of my bed and took a hot, but short shower. I thought about a lot of things in that short amount of time. There was so much that happened to me in the past couple of years it was hard to keep. But when you do nothing but think about all of those things, you memorize everything about them making it hard to forget. My dad died last year when I was seventeen. My mom completely shut down. At first she wouldn't come out of her room. I got her to continue with her job so we wouldn't go bankrupt. But then she stopped eating. I had to take her to a clinique to fix that problem. Now all my mom does it wake up, go to work, come home and lock herself in her room. I bring food to her all the time, but I never see her bring it back out so I don't know if she really ate it or not.

Then there is the whole Parker Brookes deal. He was my best friend since the sixth grade. We did everything together. It was also the best thing ever being friends with him because he lived right across the street from me. Then one day when we were sixteen we had a huge fight. And the worse thing about it was that we never spoke since. I tried and he ignored. He was with the jocks now, but I never ever saw him look happy. I would watch him laugh and smile, but all of those things that made him look happy looked forced. Trust me I know how to fake a smile and force a laugh. I was suicidal. Last year about three months after my dad died I lost control of everything. My grades were slipping. My friend abandoned me because they didn't want to be friends with someone with one parent. That and they didn't want to hang out with the shut-in's daughter. That's not my fault though.

I have my softball teammates, but I wouldn't trust any of them with a secret or anything really. I love them don't get me wrong. They are all like my second family and they treat me like I'm part of their famiy. It's just I don't trust anyone. Anyways with my mom shutting down I had to do everything. The dishes, the laundry and the bills. The stress caught up to me and I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on some prescription pills I take. Well, took. I can't take pills without supervison, so I don't take them anymore. I went to a rehab center for half of the summer. I'm alright now. I don't have any scars on my legs, wrists, or anywhere else which is good. The only thing that motivates me is my full four year scholarship to The University of Arizona. They have an amazing softball team and it's where I have wanted to go to college since I was twelve or thirteen.

They sent me a care package last week filled with a thermos, sweatshirt, and window sticker for my car. Then there were pamphlets and a letter from the head softball coach. I wore my sweatshirt all the time and already stuck the window sticker on my back window in my car. I was eager to go. It was somewhere where I could start over. Make new friends and maybe even get a boyfriend. I've been single all my life and haven't even had my first kiss. I'm eighteen. Pathetic I know. I was looking in the mirror at myself while combing through my long, auburne hair. My electrifying green eyes looked like glass from the tears I have shed before. I finished combing my hair and entered my room only to grab my headphones. I went to the corner of my room where a window was.

On the outside of the window part of the roof came down. Then the slant ended and was level and then it slanted at the end a little bit because our front porch was under it. My room looked out on the street so I could see almost everything in our neighborhood. It was nice sometimes and at others it wasn't because people can see what you are doing. Not that I do things I'm not supposed to, but the fact that someone could be watching me bothers me. Since Parker's house was across from mine his room was there somewhere and that somewhere was right across from mine. His room was on the second floor as mine was and it was looking out on the road.

We used to talk on the phone until the early hours of morning and stare at each other and make fun of what we were doing. That was a long time ago and since then I haven't had a phone call that long. I plugged in my earbuds and turned the volume all the way up. I opened the window and stepped through carefully trying not to trip. I scooted down the roof and sat on the level part of the roof with the rest of my body resting on the slant. Like it was a chair. I looked out at the still and saw all the houses with garage lights on and walkways lit up by path lights. I looked down on my own walkway and saw the bricks below. The lights in our landscaping were casting long shadows across the walkway and the grass. It was beautiful, but at the same time it sent shivers down my back.

I looked back up and saw a yellow light from across the street. I looked closer and saw that thought was coming from Parker's room. There were two figures in the room. Parker was one obviously and the other looked like Ryan, his younger brother. They seemed to be shouting at something. I looked even harder and saw one window open. I paused my music and took out one earbud. I didn't even have to lean forward. They were shouting loudly and clearly. They were arguing about someone. A girl. I didn't know which one though. The conversation was getting heated. I couldn't make out most of it. Either they weren't talking as clearly as I thought or my hearing was bad this morning. I saw Ryan step forward and raise his fist. I was going to cry out "stop" but knew that would be stupid.

I kept myself quiet and watched as Ryan swung at Parker and I put my hand to my mouth. As much as I was still mad at Parker, I still cared for him. If you haven't figured out by now I was in love with Parker Brookes. Ever since I was fourteen. And even though he broke my heart two years ago I still care deeply for him. That's my secret. I can't tell anyone. They will think I'm crazy trying to befriend him for the second time. Most people would think I would be stupid to befriend him again. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss having someone to comfort me. I miss Parker Brookes and I'm not going to deny it from myself anymore. I don't even want to date him. I just want him to be my friend again.

There was a loud clap of thunder from above which made me jump. A loud scream of surprise pierced the air. I swore under my breath and then covered my mouth making sure I wouldn't let anything else slip out. "Who's there?" I heard a masculine voice say. I tuned my head and looked back at my room. Why would anyone be in there? Stupid, I thought to myself. I looked forward and saw two heads by the open window in Parker's room.

"Um, just Jenny I guess," I call to them.

"Jenny!" I heard Ryan say excited, "it's been forever. How are you?"

"Okay I guess," I yell across the street.

"Hey are you free today?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, why?" I ask. When am I not free? That's the real question.

"I have a game tomorrow. I love want to litch a little before I go. And since you catch I was thinking you could. Only if you want to though. You don't have to," He calls. I was distracted though watching Parker. I honestly haven't seen him anywhere but in school and seeing him now, even from a distance seemed like a mystery that will never be solved. I watched him turn away and leave the room. "Jenny!" Ryan shouts scattering my thoughts.

"Um yeah sure I can do that. Come over whenever and I'll uh yeah. I'll bring my stuff over," I sputter.

"Awesome. Thanks Jenny!" He says. I could see the smile plastered across his face. He turns away too, but before his back is fully to me I blurt somehing out.

"Ryan!" I say. He turns around and looks out the window. "Will you tell Parker I said hello?" Why did I say that? I mentally smack myself upside on the head. Stupid.

His smile widened, "or course. Have a good day. I'll see you later." This time he walked out the door. Why did I do that? There was no point. He wouldn't say or do anything about it anyway. I leaned back against the roof feeling exhausted. I played my music again and put the other earbud back in. I stood up and stretched and when I looked out again I saw Parker on his bed looking out. I turned around and went back into my room. The day ahead of me was going to be a long one.
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Long update! Hope you like it so far. Please tell me what you think!
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