Kiss of Death- Dave Mustaine Fanfiction

Abstract Wordless Movements

Genius to fall asleep
To your tape last night
(So warm)
Sounds go through the muscles
These abstract wordless movements
They start off cells that
Haven't been touched before
These cells are virgins
(Waking up slowly)Nothing will be the same
(I'm fast asleep)
I like this resonance
It elevates me
I don't recognize myself
This is very interesting - Björk

"Am I not the most selfish and wretched of fortune's fools? Oblivious I live in a training ground for prostitutes; my mentor is an abuser and purveyor; I've been complicit with my sister's murderer, and the killer of my family, as he corrupted my mind. I sought relief from my pain and he turned me away from the truth."  The line belted out from my voice as nothing by anger seeped through and cut through the atmosphere around me like butter.

I kept practicing since that night. I had off from work the following morning which led me to continuously practice over my lines. I needed to be this character. My acting coach's words struck a chord with me. How am I to get anywhere if I can't do anything right? My acting coach was putting on a small production for the public starring us. It was her original screenplay. Myself and all the other girls were rather honored to be a part of it. Somehow I got the lead role. I couldn't let her down, but most importantly I couldn't let myself down.  I had to be my own person. Even though you provided me security I still had to do something with my life. I've been in the shadow of everyone else since I was born. This was to be my liberation. This was my chance.

Even though we always confided within each other some things I just couldn't tell you. This was the same for you. With some things you don't know just how I feel. And to be honest I don't expect you to. At times others couldn't help us. At times we just had to struggle through it by ourselves in order to find the light at the end of the tunnel. This was basically our routine. Sure we told each other about our day, but we never necessarily told each other about how we felt about what has occurred. Why should we? I didn't know a thing about music, and you didn't know a single iota about movies and acting. How could we take advice from each other the we knew virtually nothing about our ambitions, besides knowing that we liked those things and strived to be those things?

This often lead to funny moments with you walking in on me seeing me yell at a mirror. But nothing else mattered at this point. All I needed was my passion. Without that who was I?

After hours passed I made my way onto the local bus to ride over to classes. Just a mere few hours away it would be my debut. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to be a somebody. I wanted to do something that mattered. I knew there was no logic to this blanket statement. If there was any I couldn't find it. If I was functioning on logic I wouldn't stopped dead in my tracks with this whole acting ordeal, I wouldn't have just dropped off the face of the earth after high school graduation, I would be in college getting some trivial degree in business or whatever, and most importantly I wouldn't be with you. You're the one that helped me say fuck you, and told me to fuck logic.

As I entered the studio all of the other girls were already in their costumes, since this was a dress rehearsal. I immediately tossed my coat off to the ground and got into the scene. 

I was the lead role. I was playing a young girl who lost her family in a fire and has been institutionalized since the age of nine. Anger and rage. That was my role. This hidden beast within me was a fuse that was about to erupt a burst from within me. My human behavior had no map or compass. All that pent up emotion from my infancy and throughout the entirety of my childhood and teenage years has developed like some puss filled sore needing to be opened in order for the sunlight and oxygen to come in a heal it.

Independent film directors were coming in to view this. I couldn't mess up now. I have gotten so far away from him, and so far away from what I was accustomed to to turn back now.

As the sun set and the moon came out the crowd began to form with the small auditorium. There were all these business looking like people who all seemed very important, but were all incredibly tense and stiff. However, among all these black units and frilly dresses an outlier stood out in the entire sea of people. Long ,curly, untamed red hair, a Dead Kennedys t-shirt, stark blue jeans, and some old Reebok sneakers. Even you had so much faith I that I would do good. You dropped everything for me at the drop of a dime. You put your dream on hold just to be around me and witness me try to achieve my own dream.

When the play started all eyes were on me ,but strange part was is that I felt more at home and comfortable acting infant of a bunch of strangers rather than talking regularly to people outside of this profession.  When on stage I felt this sort of high that made me feel like I was above the clouds and souring. It was as if I wasn't apart of myself. I enjoy this resonance. It elevates me to the point I don't recognize myself. But I don't want this feeling to stop. It's very interesting. The feelings and the sounds around me go through my muscles and are taking control of my body. These sensations of ecstasy are actively flowing throughout my body. This new found confidence wrecks me. The abstract wordless movements save my life. Acting was unfurling me. It was taking root where the empty space inside my heart was: my lack of passion in life.

A/N: Odd chapter/filler. I promise I will develop on this concept later on. I just wanted to have Pamina explore this feeling and now growing passion that she feels for performing. If you have any criticism please leave it for me down below. Cheers.