The Arcane Society

Chapter 10

June 18th: Last day of school: 1st hour

Finally! We're out of the uncultured wasteland, the factory where high levels of stress and grades exist, and any other figurative language you see fit as school. I was going to tell The Sqiurrel what I felt in my heart. I rehearsed it in my head all last night, making sure to just cut to the chase. I don't want to go all sappy or romantic...yet. As my teacher hands me my yearbook, I laugh at the different memories we had as a community. It made me sad that I was leaving for Paris in 5 days; I wanted to share my experience with my friends too. In these last few days, I've really matured more, then any other quarter. Kayla was the first to sign my yearbook, to which she wrote

I am SO glad you are one of my friends. Have a great Summer! - Kayla

Look at me; I'm holding my yearbook, fighting tears. I've honestly have never seen more genuine proof of her kindness.The new girl, who I'll reveal as Valory, was the next to sign, I handed her my green Sharpie and she wrote,

Have fun in Paris! I laugh as everyone figured when I told them, that I was moving. But, then, there was a small note. I'll miss you. "Valory? I'm not moving... Why did you say 'you'll miss me'?"

She looks away, as if crushed. "I'm moving. I won't be in school next year."

"Oh..." I felt as if I was slapped. "You have my...phone number, right?" My voice cracked slightly.

She nods. "Mmhmm. I have your email too."

I hugged her. My voice only above a whisper. "I'll miss you too."

Next, a girl named Hadley came up to me with a beach ball. "Sign it!" She sounded excited to collect as many signatures as the ball could allow. I sign my full name sloppily. Elisabeth Legru

The whole morning was based around me collecting signatures. One teacher in par-tic-tacular started an uproar as I hand him my yearbook. There was a picture with me and his signature read.

(My picture here) <------------- Mr. Slipfoot's favorite student!!

I started laughing because I figured I was just a favorite in one class. But I guess my two favorite teachers were at the same wavelength in friendliness.

Finally, I couldn't handle it anymore. As we headed to our classrooms, I pulled The Squirrel over.

"C-Can we talk?"

He shrugged.

I sighed. "Look, I'm just going to cut to the chase, I like you."

"Yeah, everyone knew that." He looked at me like it was common knowledge. EVERYONE knew about what was going through my mind the past six weeks?!?

He continued. "I'm not really ready to date yet; I can't exactly handle a relationship quite like you." His voice was soft and gentle.

You probably would expect me to feel some type of remorse, right? Well, the aftermath came later (for an entirely different reason that was connected to this.) but, strangely enough, I didn't feel any hurt. It was if I stopped liking him right then and there.

"I like you as a friend, Elisabeth. I hope you can understand." He sounded like he was pleading.

I simply nodded and smiled. "Dude, I'm okay. I completely understand. I just figured I'd tell you before sanity grind me down." My smile faded "But... I didn't realize how many people knew what I was feeling." It's as if one of my own friends betrayed me and told him. Or someone must have overheard me swooning.

"Thanks for understanding." He walked away and I headed to STAR.

Soon, the aftermath (Phase 1 of my 3 step remorse: Sadness) came in, but I withheld it. Perhaps Nella was right, maybe I am heartless. The feels didn't come as he said no. I didn't grovel or beg for him to reconsider. I didn't get angry either. It's as if I was a robot. Then my anger flared. (I get through phase 1 quite quickly. Phrase 2: Anger) I don't understand! NOBODY has the right to call me heartless, all because I didn't cry in TFIOS. I only cry when the hurts relate to me.

Kayla came up to me. "How'd it go?" She said calmly.

I shook my head. "He said no."

"Oh."

Bus ride: 10:29

The bus was empty and depressing. It was as if a ghost had possessed it. I look down at my yearbook and a single tear, filled with the deepest traces of sadness, fell on to the cover. I cried silently, as I didn't want anyone to pity me. I know, I know, there are some of you who are reading this who know, (A) Exactly how I feel, (B) Think I'm being too overdramatic. Or (C) I should cheer up and move on. Those are all great on paper (or screen). But, it's easier said than done. I tried to think of soothing thoughts, Paris, my school year, bits of music replaying in my head. All of them just lead me to the root of my problems, Love. I remember I was reading a Professor Layton Fanfic on Wattpad when this quote struck me. It was from one of the characters named Clare. (If you are Layton fan, you know exactly who I'm talking about.)

"Love is what has kept you going through all this. Love in all adversities. That's what has kept you going. Sometimes... you just need reminding of that."Clare. Professor Layton: Love in All Adversities by GentleArron.

Love in something, anything, has kept me going. (Initiating Phrase 3: Acceptance) I don't need pitiful middle-schooled love. Love in my family and friends are what have kept me going. If only I can clear that memory somehow but, you can't. I stared out into the cityscape, cars whizzing by, and people going about their daily lives. I don't know how my body has managed to go through the three steps of mourn in only twenty-five minutes. New record. Last one took thirty. I guess with six looong years of bully experience, I seemed to have been able to conceal my feelings.

I will try to record what I see in Paris! But, I will be taking a HUGE break from writing (Not that my brain is fried, it's just not really much goes on in the summer that is of any interest.) If I don't write during the Summer, I'll see you guys all in the Fall/ School Year of 2014/15.

-Elisabeth the SkippingStone