The Arcane Society

Chapter 28.4

August 20th: 10:10 PM

Apologies, Classical Music, Band over Chorale, and Feeling Fury

Now that I'm rereading what I wrote last night, I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. I acted like a child last night, and it's all my fault. I'm not blaming my hormones, family, or friends. Just me.

My friend, I'm sorry that I've burst out on you. I'm taking full responsibility for my emotions, even if it means losing a couple friends. Then, it should be all good in the end. I'm going to admit, I'm scared during conversations. The impressions that I put on people, the true meaning of friendship, etcetra.

My family, I haven't been really telling you what's on my mind, and I'm lying to both you guys and myself by adverting my eyes from the truth. I've been feeling a lot of pressure recently, and I've tried my best to put on a brave face, because, on the inside, I was scared to death. I wanted you guys to be proud of me, even if it means I make a couple mistakes.

I'm on Pandora, a public radio, listening to film score. Quick, surprise quiz! Who is the most recognized composer? If you guessed John Williams, you're correct. Music is like a drug, almost. But with all drugs, there are side effects. The most annoying? A condition known as Earworm. A catchy part of a song gets stuck in your head for a week or two. It's a vicious cycle. But it also changes your mood in a instant in a really good way. Since I grew up with my grandparents and brother playing the piano, I was surrounded by classical music. I grew up listening to the Romantic Era music, and it stuck. I learned piano when I was 5 so.... 9 years of experience. I never really felt the sensation of the music moving in my ears when I listened to pop. I hated AutoTune as well, because they made notes that were impossible for the human voice to reach, so I could never really sung along properly.

I joined Band in 6th grade as a clarinet player, but since I was 4th chair out of 7, and my harmony didn't exactly make a difference in the band, I attempted two things, either switch to percussion or switch to the oboe. I figured that I could catch quickly on both, so I based it on whether or not they were needed at the time. Our other oboe player, Lizzy, (not the rebel, a different kid.) quit after 6th grade. So I switched to oboe, caught up quickly, and was able to play by December.

I'm also part of the Teen Chorale at church. So why didn't I join Chorale instead?

I wasn't so sure of how tuned the ensemble would be. There would also be a lot of competition for everyone's voice to be heard.

Now, there are days where I get assaulted verbally but I actually did get in a physical fight once. Kindergarten. It was more of a rolling on the ground than standing up and throwing punches type of fight.

Here is the full fury unleashed by one kid, named Niko.

Kindergarten

October 7th, 2005

Niko, was almost like a Caucasian male version of Tiara. They both like to take control swiftly and effectively. I'll tell you one thing, Ashley, had smitten a lot of boys with her looks and bubbly personality and had them (unknowingly) wrapped around her finger . Since I was still splitting time between Marlee and Ashley, I didn't see both as much as I wanted to. Niko and Ashley looked kinda cute, if he didn't have control issues. Even so, it was a chilly October morning. It was Ashley's turn on my ever-changing schedule. I still carried the title, now that I was considerably and noticeably taller than anyone else in my grade. I saw Nico, sorry autocorrect, Niko, with Ashley. I didn't pay attention as I walked over to the swings were Ashley was. I did notice something, as I got a little closer. Niko was trying desperately to swoon her. She looked...uncomfortable, but she smiled as she saw me coming.

"Hey, is everything alright? You look a little nervous."

She forced a laugh. "Haha, no, I'm fine, really."

I sit down on the swing next to her. "Alright," I sighed. I glance up at Niko, straight faced. "You must be Niko." I added sweetly. "I've heard a bit about you."

He scowled. "You must be Elisabeth. Toughest girl in School?"

I stood up, shrugging. "In School is a bit of an overstatement. In Kindergarten? Yes."

He glances down at Ashley, rolling up his sleeves. "You hang with her?" He growled. "Are you some type of weakling, afraid of a little muscle?"

I rolled up my sleeves. "Leave her alone! She has nothing to do with this. I'll show you a little muscle." I mentioned earlier I was tall, but he was short and agile. So it was a stalemate fight. We decided to move it to the hills. No one ever checks there, so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

As soon as we got to the bottom of the hill, I lunged at him with devastating force with the element of surprise at my side.. I can probably hear you, "But, you're the epitome of elegance!" Give me a break, I was in Kindergarten, and I needed to blow off some steam.

We kind of just rolled around, throwing punches at each other's face, of if missing our aim, each other's back. I finally beat him when I held his wrists

"You promise to apologize and I'll let you go" I said breathlessly as I loosened my grip on his wrist.

"Alright, alright. You know, you're kind of cute when you're defensive." He laughed. I stared at him for a bit in disgust, and excused myself politely.

I climbed up the hill, excused myself to the bathroom with a white lie to the lunch associates, and went inside. I drew a deep breath and went to the nearest bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I didn't look horrible, but it was going to be hard to explain. I had a bruise below the left eye, and a couple spots where my lip was bleeding. Thankfully he avoided the nose and teeth. I washed my face with water, trying my best to make it seem like I fell down the hill instead of rolled on it.

He threw a couple good ones, that's for sure. I said as I lifted the back of my shirt and turned around. A couple small bruises dotted my back.

I washed my face and headed outside. Suddenly, that weird mixture of sadness and pity hit me again. It was guilt. What have I done?

The Present

What I didn't realize back then, is that the victim in that fight was neither myself nor him, but Ashley. She probably saw all of it. She was the wisest of us both.