Please Accept My Apology (Niall Horan)

Could It Be (chapter 2)

CHAPTER TWO

‘It can’t be one direction!!! I’m not ready to see Niall? Would he even remember me?? Or if he did would he even look at me? Or worst of all will he act as if nothing happened at all?’ I thought to myself. “Hello… earth to Amber. Can you hear me? Are you still alive? If I poke you will you respond?” “No! Don’t you dare?” I yelled at her as I jumped away “I knew that would work! Now are you gonna tell me what you were thinking about or do I have to force it out of you?” “I don’t want to interview one direction!” I say “caauuuseee…?” “Imnotreadytoseeniallandidontknowifieverwillbe, ifeeltoguiltystillanditsbeen3yearsalready” I gush out “sorry can you repeat that in English?” I sighed and repeated what I said “I’m not ready to see Niall and I don’t know if I ever will be, I feel too guilty still and it’s been 3 years already.” “Sweet heart maybe it’s time to get over what happened and get on with life” “You know how I feel about him Jasmine!! You of all people should be supporting me through this!!” and with that I ran upstairs to my room in fear that I’d break down crying in Jaz’s arms.

I got to my room and locked my door. I ran to my closet and got out the box hidden at the very back that I swore to myself id never open again. But I needed it, I needed all of mine and Niall's memories. I got the box and went back to my bed with it. I undid the ridiculous amount of sticky tape on it and removed the note that I wrote saying ‘don’t open it you’ll regret it, you don’t need to remind yourself of him again’ I didn’t care anymore I can’t keep trying to forget about him. Maybe if he wasn’t an international pop star id be able to forget about him but he is and I have to deal with that. It’s my fault that I’m in all this pain because I was the one who chose to end the friendship, if I wasn’t so irrational and insecure at the beginning we might possibly still be as close as we were, but we’re not. I sat on my bed for what felt like hours going through all the photos and little things that I kept as memories... like our pet rocks that we made when we were eight, or our valentine cards we sent each other as a joke in year 6 or even all our little notes we slipped to each other in class during high school, I kept almost every single one of them.

I was going through the last of our photos when the doorbell rang “Fudge! I forgot about Emma, I’m not even dressed” I said to myself. I quickly jumped off my bed and ran as quick as possible to my drawers almost knocking over my guitar in the process but luckily catching it before it hit anything. I chucked on a pair of my black skinny jeans and a random band shirt I could find and chucked my hair up in a messy bun. As I was walking to the door I realised I left our memories everywhere… oh well it’s not like anybody will see. As I walked down stairs I saw Emma and Jaz in a casual conversation, I noticed Emma had some papers in her hand. Emma looked up and said hi and gave me a hug and then asked if she could use the bathroom before we got to business. Jaz and I were pretty close to Emma but not as close as we were to each other. After Emma left the room I turned to Jaz “I’m sorry for going off at you before and running off. I just find it hard to talk about him, ya know? I miss him so much and no one understands. Emma doesn’t even know that I know him” “It's okay I understand” then we heard Emma “Who do you know?” oh crap she heard me... I should have kept my voice down. “Oh no one important” she just looked at me curiously and then dropped it. She learnt the hard way not to force information out of me. We didn’t talk for three days. That’s not a good thing when we both have to co-host a show together.

“Well, anyway guess who we are interviewing Amber!” Emma half yelled half fangirled oh no I can already tell that this is gonna be one tough interview. “I have no idea Emma, who!?” “ONE DIRECTION!!” she screamed then ran around squealing I completely ignored her behaviour and instantly turned to look at Jaz. She was looking at me with a sympathetic look in her eyes. Then Emma stopped squealing after noticing I didn’t react and walked over to me “Are you okay darling? What’s wrong?” I didn’t answer her I walked back upstairs and into my room but not before I heard Jaz whisper to Emma saying “I can’t tell you, it’s not for me to say, but I’m sure she’ll explain soon enough”. I leant back against my door and groaned out loud. Why me? Why Niall? Why us? I can’t face him in just five days; I’m so not ready for that. I’m not ready to see the person who was once my best friend. Maybe I should call in sick or book another flight to Ireland for a few days.