Faded

14.

Abel's POV

"Abel I can't do this anymore." I hear Amirah say sniffling. I suddenly get angry at the thought of how she could be crying right now when she's the one who's telling me she can't do this anymore. I lock my eyes on the road not knowing what to say. I finally regain my voice to say, "Can't do what Amirah?..." I instantly regret asking her that question knowing that it's just going to lead further into the conversation of what she clearly just stated to me.

"I can't keep fucking around with you. I can't continue to act like I'm happy when I'm not. I mean with you I am happy, like really happy but, I can't keep giving myself to you all while you being able to have the right of fucking everybody else. It doesn't work that way. It's either you're with me as mine or we aren't anything at all." Her voice sounds so stern and I can't believe she had the courage to spit out how she feels about the situation and even how she feels when she's around me.

"I understand. I want you Amirah. I don't want any of those other girls I only want you and the only reason I went and fucked her was because.... I don't know. I just wanted to fuck her because I didn't want what I was feeling for you to be true. I'm not cut out for love my heart doesn't stick to just one... it doesn't stick to anyone." I tell her looking out the passenger side window. I can tell Hawk is kind of uncomfortable listening to me express my feelings for Amirah by the way he's scoot all the way over up against his side of the car trying to act like he's not listening to what I just told her.

"Where are you baby girl? I'll come and pick you up, the sun is about to come out." I miss her and I want to make it up to her for what I did I don't even deserve to be on the phone with her right now. I hear a voice in the background but this isn't the voice of Amirah or Delaney.

"Hey you need a ride home babe?" This is a niggas voice and my head starts to get hot.

"Where the fuck are you?" I ask in a growl. I hear Amirah breathe into the phone as if she's irritated. " A friends house." A friend.

"Where?" Is all I ask.

"Nowhere.... I have to go."

"You fucked that dude last night didn't you?" Me and Hawk pull back up to the hotel and I climb out the car leaving Hawk and head straight for the room. "Answer me Amirah or I swear I will come and find out where you and that punk ass nigga are."

"That's none of your business." I hear a car door shut and the engine start to run. "Where are you going Amirah?"

"Home and don't come to my house."

"What are you going to do Amirah! Get that fuck nigga to beat my ass? Or are you going to call the cops? Huh, which one is it because right now I'm at the point when I'm ready to fuck up his life and yours." I walk over to the mini fridge and pull out a bottle. I take a long swig and look at the clock its now 6:30 am and I've managed to chase Amirah and worry sick about her all night while she was up in the middle of the night fucking some random nigga she had all along.

She stays silent on the phone and I can't help but think what is she going to say or why isn't that bitch in the background not talking anymore. "If you didn't fuck him last night, say my name over the phone. Say my name and tell me how you really feel about me right now in front of him." It stays quiet.

"Say my name baby girl," I down the rest of the alcohol I have left in my bottle and I light up a blunt, "say it the way you said it not to long ago when I was inside of you." I'm drunk.

I hear her breathing and the hum of the radio in the background. Then, click. She hung up the phone and I burry my head into the pillow. Screaming at the top of my lungs. I feel my eyes start to burn and I start to tear up. Feeling full of hatred, anger, regret, and even the one I don't want to feel, hurt. I feel hurt at the fact that Amirah, my baby, would go and do something like this but then it hits me, this is exactly how Amirah felt but I can only imagine 10 times worse since she actually seen it in person. I want to get revenge back at her for knowing that she gave her body away to someone that wasn't me, that it wasn't my name she was screaming, it wasn't my hair she was pulling. I wasn't the one making her moan and having her eyes rolling back, it wasn't me. It wasn't my dick filling her up till she couldn't take it anymore. It was someone else. Someone else had experienced what my baby feels like other than me and what hurts the most is that she allowed it to happen because of her hurt she felt from me.

...

"Abel man get up." I feel some hands shaking me and I jerk awake. My eyes are burning and my head is throbbing.

"What time is it?" I ask feeling for my phone.

"It's 7:45 pm." My Vision finally clears and I see Hyghly and Stix in the room picking up the mess I made.

Amirah suddenly fills my head again and I don't even want to move but my body decides otherwise and i run to the bathroom throwing up nothing but alcohol on my empty stomach.

"You need anything bro?"

"No I'm good man thanks." I answer back rinsing my mouth with water.

"Well the crew is going too get something to eat if you feel like you could use anything on your stomach. I don't know where we are going yet but afterwards we are going to a house party that one of Cash's friends is having." Stix says before they walk out with a grocery bag of noting but trash and broken glass.

I climb over to the bed and find my phone with a missed call from Amirah. I don't call back and just decide to get up and go shower. Once in the shower I just stand there letting my sore body engulf the warmth and the steam. My mind flashes to Amirah again and the way her hands trailed up and own my body the very first time she danced for me. I hurry up and wash off and try to shake the thought of her from my head. I brush my teeth and get dressed in just some jogging pants and a t-shirt and throw my jacket and some sneakers on. I don't feel like going to the house party with the crew but I do feel like getting something to eat. Meeting up with the rest of the guys downstairs in the lobby we pile up in the SUV and drive to a diner. We walk over to an empty booth and I look around at the people in here. Usually we wouldn't eat at such an open place like this because of fans and paparazzi and such things like that but, this place is actually kind of empty. Our waitress comes over to the table and asks for out drinks. I look up and see Delaney with a yellow apron on and her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

I go ahead and let the guys order what they want to drink and ask Delaney if I could speak with her in private.

"Hey Abel." She says dryly.

"Hey."

"I should be pissing my pants and begging if I could touch you but Amirah told me about what happened and I don't like you anymore." She says looking at me with a serious expression.

"Could you just tell me where she is?" I ask.

"Abel you know where she is... she's either at the house or her job." Is all she says. "Now, what can I get you to drink sugar?" She says fake smiling.

"Sprite." I then go take my seat back at the booth with the guys.