Clace Best Friends (Slow Updates)

21. The Processing

Author's Note: Shout out to Minnie134 Go and check out his/her amazing book! Also, I know it's been a while since I updated, but some stuffs come up. I don't think it should be as big of a conflict now, so I will likely be updating more regularly again. If not, you'll know why.

Jace

"Red, I know this is a jack ass move, but I...I need to get some air. I'm not leaving, but I've got to go outside for a while," I manage.

"It's okay, I understand," Red replies. I rush out of the warehouse. Standing to the left of the door, I crumple to the ground. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could be strong enough for Red, but it's killing me. Valentine broke her while I had a good childhood. I had several friends, loving parents, enough food, more than enough money, and I felt safe in my home. I never felt threatened by my dad or my mom. They loved me and cared for me. I was having fun at a party or something while Valentine was....r...raping Red. I talked to her EVERY day, and I never noticed Valentine had his talons on her. Jocelyn was always like a 'normal mom,' when I was there. Neither of them let me see beneath the surface. That's why I couldn't visit when Valentine was there. Maybe when I was 6 or even 8, I couldn't have protected Red, but if she would've told me, I would've gotten her help. By the time I was 13, I would've been able to hold my own in a fight against Valentine. It's not Red's fault, she was scared for her and her mom's life. I just wish I could've helped her sooner.

All I want to do is hold her close and never let her go. Make sure she always feels safe. I want to see her beautiful face when I wake up in the morning, and before I go to bed each night. I want to kiss her lips. I want to show her how much I love her. Make her see she's worth more than the world to me. But first, I have to get her to trust me, to not be scared of me.

What is she thinking about right now? Is she mad at me for leaving? Does she believe that I'm coming back? Does she think I hate her? I think all of this would he simpler if I didn't love her, but alas I do. What can I say, Red's worth the complication. 'You left her alone you idiot. Get back in there,' a voice booms. I stand up and walk into the warehouse. I find Red cradled in a ball on the couch. Jace! You imbecile! Ugh! Make it better! "Red, I.....I'm sorry. Please look at me," I gently whisper to her. She still won't look at me. I take a seat next to her and pull her into my arms. She resists for a while with an occasional thrash or kick, but I know she needs this. Eventually, she gives up and molds into my side. "Red, please look at me," I try.
Slowly, her eyes meet mine. Her face is red with tears streaming down them. "Red, what's wrong?"

"Y......you left me. I.....I...thought, you left me. I thought....you were going...t...to leave me.....all alone in this....a....abandoned...wa...warehouse," Red cries.

"Red, I'm not leaving you, I promise. I....I just needed to process what you told me. I know you keep saying there's nothing I could've done, but I know there must've been something I could've done. I could've had you stay at my house overnight more. As soon as you told me, I could've gone to my parents. They could've gone above y....Valentine, so he ever got his hands on you again. I could've made sure he never hurt you Red. I know I could've done something, anything," I reply trying to steady my breaths.

"Jace, don't you see you did help me. Our.....friendship is what got me through the years of abuse. After he....had his way, he'd beat me. Then, as long as the door wasn't locked, I'd make my way to my room. Once in there, I'd shower to get him off. Walking to my bed, I'd lay down and try to sleep, but Valentine would invade my thoughts, so I thought of us. I thought of when we walked to school in the rain because the rain always felt good. How we'd pack extra clothes in our backpack, knowing we'd be soaked by the time we made it to school. Or when you came over and we'd watch movies for hours. I'd make the popcorn, you'd bring the snacks. Those things, they kept me sane and alive during my childhood," Red assures me.

"Thank you Red for showing me. I still wish I could've helped more, but it means a lot to me that I helped," I respond. "We've got 8 hours until sunset, why don't you rest?"

"Okay," Red replies. She lays against me on the old black couch. Her eyes flutter closed, and I hold her tightly. My lips brush against the crown of her head. She's got to be okay. I've got to make sure she's safe. Make sure Valentine never gets her. Carefully, I grab a phone and look for a place to stay. If I can find one with security, then maybe I'll get some sleep for a while. There's a Sundown Lodge 75 miles from here. It looks to have a secure door and multiple exits. It should work for sure. We'll go to get the car as soon as the sun sets and then go to the lodge. I turn the phone off and put it back in Red's backpack. I stare at Red while she sleeps. My hands find her hair and I play with it, willing myself to stay awake. Now is not the time to fall asleep on Red. Get her somewhere safe first, come on!

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What's the longest you've gone without actually sleeping?

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 4/13/18