Clace Best Friends (Slow Updates)

23. The Cliffhanger of all Cliffhangers

Author's Note: I'm a vile creature! It's official.........

Clary

Jace, what do you get out of this?" I ask. "What do you get from risking your life to help me, while financially supporting us, and always trying to make me feel better?"

"What?" Jace questions. "What do you mean what do I get?"

"I mean, what possible reason could you have for staying with me. I mean of course I'll pay you back once I get a job, but it's not like I'm rich. I don't have any thing, so why are you helping me?" I explain. What could he possibly gain from this? If there's one thing I learned from Valentine, it's that everyone has ulterior motives and their own interest in mind. Valentine had a child and he broke me. As a parent he should've protected me, but he had his own interests in mind. He wanted someone he could beat, intimidate, and r...rape.

"You will not be repaying me. You're not an investment. I'm helping you because I care about you Red. We've known each other for 12 years," Jace explains. He must have an ulterior motive. "I don't want anything from you. I don't expect anything from you in return ever. 30 years from now, I won't expect anything. I'll never hold it over you or make you feel bad. All I want from you is," Here it comes. His motive. "for you to be happy. You're sincere happiness is what I want out of this. Now, we should probably pack up, so we can get that car and be on our way to the lodge." He only wants me to be happy? Really? No, he must be hiding his true motives.

"Lodge?" I ask not remembering him ever mentioning it.

"Sorry Red, I forgot," Jace begins. "While you were sleeping, I found a place to stay about 75 miles from here in Eureka Nevada. After we get the car, we've got to get back on 50, and it's basically a straight shot."

We silently pack. Suddenly, Jace is holding money in his hand and gesturing for me to take it. "What are you doing?" I question

"Red, you should have money. You have enough clothes, I left some of the burner phones, my compass, US map, pencil, pad of paper, and a ruler. With the money, you'll be able to get to Shelby Montana without me, in case something happens. The main plan is penciled on the map, but there are several different detours in case were compromised. It also has the address of the place my family owns." Jace is leaving me? H.....he's really leaving. No, he wouldn't, he said he cares. Maybe his just can't deal with you. Maybe you're just too much for him. "Please take the money, so I know you'll be okay, even if I can't be there to protect you," Jace begs.

He may not care about you like you care about him, but that doesn't stop you from caring. Don't make him stay with you. Let him he free. "Jace if you don't want...to come with me, it's okay. But.....please don't give me all of this stuff, tell me the plan, and then leave me in the middle of the night. Just tell me and I'll understand," I try to give him an out. I'm preparing for when he says he's going to leave. My eyes close as I wait for his words to finalize it. He's going to leave and I have to let him go. I have to let him live his life, he can't be stuck with me when he should be with his family and finding someone to love. I shead a single silent tear. He's going to find that girl someday. I'll pretend to be happy, and I'll fake it. I'll make sure he doesn't know I'm dying inside. Yes, I'll keep it in and he'll get to be happy.

"Red, I'm not leaving you, so stop it!" Jace exclaims. Why am I so messed up? I don't want him to leave. In fact, the idea makes me shudder, but I know he'll be happier if he does. "I just want you to be prepared in case something happens to me. I have to know you'll make it and be safe," Jace explains.

"Jace, you should leave," I manage to say. What am I doing? I don't want him to leave! Stop saying things mouth!

"Red, you don't mean that," Jace counters. I don't.....

"You should have a life, meet new people, go to college if you want, but you shouldn't be stuck here with me," I explain.

"You should get all of those things too Red," Jace responds. "Answer me one question, please." I nod. "Do you want me to leave?"

No! I don't want you to leave me! But you should! You should have a life! I should let you go. You should be free and happy. But I don't know if I can do this without you. I don't know if I'd even want to. You've been my unsuspecting rock for 12 years, how am I supposed to live without you there inadvertently holding me up? Tears fall from my face as I crumble into the couch. I can't answer him! Not with the answer I want to and not with the truth. I can't tell him that I'm scared of what will happen in he leaves. I can't tell him I want him to he happy because I care about him. Jace swiftly comes to hold me, but not as tight as he usually does. He thinks I want him to leave? Is this our last hug? Is he saying goodbye? The fear of the meaning behind this gesture of comfort stops my tears. "Jace, i.....is this a goodbye hug?" I ask.

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Will Jace leave? Will Clace end before it even begins?

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 4/15/18