Clace Best Friends (Slow Updates)

26. The Answer (finally)

Jace

"Please please,"Red cries. Immediately, I'm awake. She's having another nightmare. Okay, just turn the light on and wake her up.

I turn the lamp on. "Red, it's Jace. You're having a nightmare. It's okay, I've got you. You're safe," I try. Red thrashes a few times. "Red, wake up. Come on Red."

Her eyes begin to open as tears fall down her face. "J.....Jace," Red manages.

"I'm right here. I've got you, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay," I whisper to her as I rub her back soothingly.

"I....it was so...s...scary. H.....he was re...really...mad," Red sobs. Valentine! Of course her nightmares are about that bastard. Ugh!

"Red, you're safe now. I've got you," I assure her. I grab her waist and pull her closer to me.

"J....Jace, don't l.....let go," Red pleas. Am I replaceable here? Could someone else be soothing Red through her nightmares?

"Never," I reply without hesitation. Red soon falls back asleep, and I decide I'll take a nap after Red wakes up. A nap, but I just want to fall sleep with Red in my arms. Exhaustion is pulling on me. My eyes are drooping.

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I feel someone touch my hair and, I grab the hand quickly. My eyes open, and I see Red. I swiftly drop her hand. "I'm sorry, Red," I apologize. "How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour or so," Red replies. "Jace, I've been thinking. When's the last time you woke up after me? You must be like a machine or something?"

"Truth," I reply.

"Truth," Red confrims.

"I haven't slept since we left Fallon," I confess.

"Jace, that's not good. Your body needs sleep to function properly," Red scolds.

"I know, but I had to watch over you. The Pony Canyon Motel wasn't very secure, and that's my fault for picking it. The warehouse certainly wasn't secure, so I had to stay awake. Now that we've got some distance and the Sleep Inn is secure, I guess my body just couldn't stay awake anymore," I explain. "Now, there's something we need to discuss." Am I ready for this? Is Red ready? Should I let her go? Let her find someone better than me?

"Y...yes, we do," Red replies. Red removes her hands from my back and puts them on my chest. Then, she looks at them, to avoid eye contact. "I....I know you're probably leaving. I....I get it." Why does she not see how much I love her? Need her? Want her? 'Because you're too cowardly to tell her,' a voice booms. "N.....now that you know what.....Valentine did." I want to kill that bastard! But, that doesn't make me think of you any less. "You can leave and it won't make you a bad person. It's okay, I don't expect anything from you." The wet stain on my shirt that soaks into my chest is the only indication that Red is crying. I'm not leaving her! I've got to prove her worth to me.

"No, please don't cry. Red come on, look at me," I try.

"Jace, I...I can't see the look of disgust in your face, I...I can't," Red mumbles. Disgust? She doesn't honestly think I am disgusted with her, can she?

"You won't see disgust Red, please," I plea. Slowly, Red turns her face, but she stops before she can see my eyes and looks away. No, this won't do. Gently, I take my hand and move her chin, so her eyes meet mine. Tears cloud her eyes.

Red tries not to cry, "Jace, you're just caught in the moment. Before you left with me, you had girlfriends. You had lots of outgoing, smart, hot, nice, and caring girlfriends." None of them were ever as beautiful as you. They can't even compare to you. "You deserve to be with one of them, not in some other state with me. You're just not thinking straight. I don't know maybe you feel guilty or something. Now you feel like you should stay with me, and hold me." I want to stay with you! "I know you care about me like a sister," Not one of my proudest moments..... "but you shouldn't go through the mess that is my life. You have a family. A nice, amazing, and loving family. I ate dinner at your house once a week, so I know. Your mom is so kind. She went as far as saying, 'if you ever needed anything, please don't hesitate because I care about you. You're family.' You shouldn't have to leave them for me." My mom knew! She was trying to subtly tell me that she thinks we'd make a good couple.

"I'm not caught in the moment. Yes, I've had girlfriends, but you are more important. I hold you because I want to feel close to you. I want to be able to make sure you breathe while you sleep. If you're ever having a nightmare, I want to be there to make sure you're okay. As for my mom, she thinks of you as her daughter," I explain. I just leave out the part about my mom thinking we'd be a good couple.

"Jace really, you don't have to worry about me so much. I'll be okay," Red argues. When you love someone, you worry. It's a thing!

How do I make her see that I love her? "I have absolutely no intention of leaving you. By the time this is over, you're going to begging me to leave your side, and I'll be like nope," I reply. It's the same thing I told her when she asked me before. Only this time, I've got to make sure she knows she's in control. Red needs to feel safe, and I'll gladly give her whatever she needs to achieve that, even if that means I leave. "As long as you want me to stay." I guess I could always follow her, but keep my distance. Make sure she's safe.

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Do you sacrifice for someone you care about or do you let them sacrifice for you? (Not meant to be judgemental. Just thought prokoving. Feel free to comment if you'd like thought)

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 4/17/18