Clace Best Friends (Slow Updates)

25. The Confession

Author's Note: If you haven't already checkout out Minnie134 awesome book, please do.

Clary

"Jace, i.....is this a goodbye hug?" I ask. Now that he's gotten me to safety is he leaving me? Do you want him to? No! Should he, yes?

"Red, do you want this to be a goodbye hug?" Jace asks. "Do you want me to leave?" He should get to have a life! He should get to find a girl! He should get to see his family! Go to college!

"Y...yes," I manage. Then, I run into the bathroom. What have I done? I've let the best thing in my life leave. No, I...I told him I wanted him to leave. I hear a noise that sounds as if a door opened and closed. I fall to the bathroom floor and sob. "W.....why did I say.....that? H....he's gone. I....I want him to stay. M...my......g....golden boy.......he's g...gone. Y...you're  s...so...broken....u..ugly....w...weak...di.....disgusting, and pathetic. N....no one wants you. Y.....you pushed him away! Y....you made him leave.......H....he deserves a good life. Y....you have to put him first. L....let him go. L...let him go." I can't hold back the tears long enough to yell at myself, so I lay on the cold tile floor and sob. I don't know how long I sob for, but eventually no more tears come out. I hear a noise in the room, so I stand up quickly. Looking for a weapon, I find a hairdryer. Okay, well I'm sure a hit with this could at least disorientate someone, hopefully. Slowly, the door opens up and as soon as I see a head, I swing hard. I step further and find Jace. I'm going to fast, using to much force, I can't stop it. Before I can warn him, he grabs both of my hands, stopping me in my tracks.

"Red, drop the hairdryer. It's okay, I'm the only one in here with you. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry," Jace whispers gently to me. "Red, I....I heard you." Jace looks away. "W...when you were crying. I was repackaging my backpack. I...I guess you figured I'd left. After I heard you, I had to take a walk and figure out what to do." H....he heard me. He heard my pathetic cries for him not to leave. He was probably too disgusted thinking of m...me and him to talk, so he had to walk and calm down.

"I...I didn't know you were still here. I...I'm sorry," I manage. I run to the bed and bury myself in the comforter. What have you done you stupid girl! You begged him to stay him like a weak sad baby through sobs when you thought he was gone. I feel a tap on the shoulder.

"Let's just go to bed and we'll take about it later, okay," Jace suggests to me.

"S...sure," I reply.

"Bed or do you want me to take the floor?" Jace asks. Everytime.....I like that he does. Does that make me weird?

"Bed," I answer. This might be the last time I get to share a bed with him, so I'm going to make it count. I snuggle close to his chest. Jace is visibly taken back by my boldness, but I want to be able to remember this long after he leaves.

As my eyes flutter closed, I feel his lips on my forehead. I want to stay awake and make sure he doesn't leave while I'm sleeping, but sleep takes over, and I fall.

Jace

I was packing my stuff when Red started crying. I heard her mumble a bunch of stuff about me. I ended up listening with curiosity. Then I heard it, she said she doesn't want me to leave. I couldn't handle the excitement at the potential, so I went for a walk. Then next time I came back inside, I didn't hear anything in the bathroom, so I went to check it out. Only to find Red trying to hit me with a hairdryer. Luckily, I quickly grabbed her hands and stopped the hairdryer from connecting with my head. She ran out crying and that's how we ended up like this; Red's sleeping in my arms while I watch her. I know I was hoping for sleep, once we got somewhere more secure. But....I just want to watch Red. She doesn't want me to leave, that's for sure. Red was trying to do what's best for me. She thought I'd be happier with some other girl. That I'd go to college and have a life without her. I just lay there and play with Red's hair gently brushing my hands through. I replay my thoughts from my walk. Should I tell her I like her when she wakes up? Should I tell her that she's most beautiful woman I've ever seen? Should I tell her she's special? D...did Valentine call her special? Would that be a horrible idea? I can't tell her. She's going through so much, I can't complicate that for her. I can't make this worse for her. She deserves a clean slate, one that doesn't involve anyone she doesn't want it to. So she didn't want me to leave, that doesn't mean she wants me to stay either. Maybe I'm just the only one she has, so she doesn't want me to leave. Maybe I could easily be replaced. Maybe I don't hold any significance to Red. That she only needs someone, and it doesn't matter who. No! Red and I are best friends. That's what we're going to stay as and I'm not going to jeopardize that. She cares about me like a brother, and that's better than nothing.

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What will Jace say when Clary wakes up?

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 4/16/18