Don't You Dare: A Synyster Gates Story

Chapter Twelve

M. Shadows' voice roared through the venue as the band took the stage. Zacky Vengeance and Synyster Gates jumped into their positions on top of the speaker risers, strumming and plucking their guitars accordingly. Johnny Christ bobbed his head as his bass boomed into the screaming crowd. The Rev's arms flailed effortlessly, banging each of his drums in rhythm with his band mates.

Aubrey watched in awe. She started the tour having never heard of Avenged Sevenfold. Now they were her closest friends and her favorite band. She appreciated every detail of their show, because every detail was thought out, planned, and executed with perfection.

For five guys who loved to party, have fun, and often acted like goofy children, they took their jobs very seriously.

And despite having very distinct onstage personas, she could always see little glimpses of their true selves as they performed.

Matt's mannerisms shined through as he used his hands to put emphasis on words in their songs in the same way he put emphasis on words when he spoke. Zacky's serious and focused expression while he played guitar mimicked the way he focused in on conversations. Johnny's stance while playing the bass was nearly identical to the way he stood while he was idle, with his feet apart and slightly leaning back. The wild look in Jimmy's eyes while he played the drums matched the wild look in his eyes when he's about to do something mischievous. And Brian often smirked while he played a particularly impressive guitar riff or dueled guitars with Zack, which looked exactly like the smirk he often gave Aubrey when he was being inappropriate or promiscuous.

She had really come to appreciate each one of them for who they were, off and on stage.

So why the fuck was she so hell bent on going back to Phoenix again?

Pride, she half-wondered/half-assumed.

Going home was clearly a subconscious decision and determination, because she knew, on the surface, that she wanted to stay with them.

But what would she do? Work as their merch girl forever? Or at least until Brian got tired of her and broke up with her? Then she'd be in the exact same position she was in now. Hell, did he even want to date her? He mentioned being jealous of Jake, the bartender, so she got the impression that he felt some sort of possessiveness over her. But was it alpha-male-testosterone-driven or was it because he truly wanted to be with her?

She still felt guilty about the incident with the bartender, except they had made it very clear in the beginning that their relationship wouldn't turn into anything other than one night of casual sex. But it obviously had. It had turned into way more, going on much longer and much farther than she ever anticipated. And it scared her, it filled her to the brim with anxiety.

And sure, she could walk away with her head held high even if Brian maintained the idea that they were just sleeping together, that it was only sex, and that once she leaves, their relationship would be over. She could be mature and she could handle that. But it didn't mean she didn't want the opposite to happen.

But he lived six hours away. And he was in a touring band. And he clearly liked sex and was surrounded by it. If she wasn't there – would he move on to the next merch girl or fan that threw themselves at him? Sure, he didn't do it on this tour, but he had her there, physically with him with wide open legs. If she wasn't around, would he still turn them away?

She sighed, running her hands through her hair, trying to brush off the skittish and erratic thoughts that consumed her and frazzled her and jumped from one extreme to the next.

And thanks to those thoughts, she felt scattered and edgy the whole rest of the night.

So when she found herself alone with Brian on the bus after the show, she took advantage of the opportunity to talk to him.