Chapter 5

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by tippilanea7x

by tippilanea7x

Thank god for Sophie, she knew exactly what needed doing and she got in and did it. Everyone came over to see if they could help and Brian brought Bella. We talked about a few things including her ideas on bridesmaids dresses, they were nothing like my ideas, they were hideous actually. I found myself avoiding Bella and talking with Sophie, I really liked her no shit attitude, especially towards Brian.

The day went quickly and when Sophie left Matt walked up to me. "I'm going to the hospital if you want to come."

I nodded. I went and quickly got changed and grabbed my bag, Matt was in the car waiting.

We never said a word on the drive over, nor as we walked through the hospital.

We got to Lilah's door and I took a deep breath before opening it. Lilah was resting on the bed and Jim was sitting there with the baby in his arms. He stood up and held him out to me and I hesitated for a moment before taking him in my arm's. He was beautiful. I sat down, not paying attention to Matt and Jim's back slapping antics, and looked at the tiny little face. He was sleeping but making faces. I completely adored him.

"Hey." Lilah said opening her eye's.

"Oh Lil, you did a perfect job." I whispered, what I meant was, you did what I couldn't. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before anyone saw it.

"Isn't he something Ana?" She said smiling. He really was.

We talked about the engagement party and I explained how Sophie had it all under control.

"God, I'm so glad Ana." Lilah said.

"Can I hold him?" Matt asked me suddenly.

I held him out and Matt took him in his arm's. Lilah was still talking but I wasn't listening, I was looking at Matt, he looked so good, so natural and I felt bad again for everything that had happened. What if I never had a baby? What if I couldn't? That wouldn't be fair to Matt.

Matt suddenly looked up at me and I quickly looked away before he could see the hurt in my eye's.

We stayed there a while and by the time we left it was dark and I was starving. I guess if we had been talking to eachother I may have suggested going somewhere to eat, but we weren't so Matt drove straight home.

I wandered in and made a sandwich. I stood in the kitchen eating. Matt had gone into "his" room, the room with all his games and stuff in it. I ate half of it and threw the rest out, I was tired, I was sad and I felt a little sick. I decided to go to bed early.

I got ready and climbed in, laying there thinking, tomorrow was suppose to be our engagement and we weren't even speaking, how the hell were we going to do it, pretend everything was fine when clearly it wasn't. I eventually drifted off into unsettled sleep. I don't know what time it was when I felt the blankets being pulled back and Matt getting in beside me. He reached out and touched my hair, that was all I needed, I rolled over and buried my face in his chest, he wrapped his arm's around me.

"I love you, you know." He whispered and that made me cry. "Ana, you need to stop, it happened, you can't blame yourself forever."

"But what if I never have a baby Matt? What will you do?" I was getting even more upset the more I thought about it.

"Oh god Ana, what will I do? What will we do. There are other options anyway and besides let's not even worry about it until we need too, okay." He kissed my forehead. "You can't get rid of me that easy."

Good, because I really didn't want to.

"I love you Matthew." I told him, maybe I didn't tell him enough.

"I know, even when your pissed off and not talking to me for day's I know you still love me." I nodded into his chest. "Now sleep, we have a big day tomorrow. "

Yes we did. I drifted off to sleep knowing that no matter what happens, Matt would still love me.