Always (E.D)

Chapter Seventeen

The next morning, I found myself laying down next to Ethan. He eyebrows were furrowed together and half of his face was burried in his pillow.

I sighed lightly thinking about the things I was thinking about last night. I remembered how hurt he looked. If I was causing him to be hurt, I couldn't do this...

I didn't want end what Ethan and I had. I loved him so much. But if he was hurt because of the things I was going through, wouldn't it be selfish not to?

I shook it off a little and looked up at the ceiling. It was a plain white color, so boring.

I heard Ethan shift around. I looked at him. He looked like he was about to wake up, so I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

I heard him sniffle. He was definitely awake now. I tried to make it seem like I was asleep. He wasn't fooled.

"I know you're awake." His deep, raspy voice startled me.

"How?" I asked.

"I heard you moving." He answered. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"I don't know. I just thought cause... You know - never mind." He said not finishing his sentence. I knew what he was gonna say.

I sat up and adjusted my shirt. I sighed as my thoughts came back. Damn it.

"You seem stressed or tense. Are you sure you're okay?" He asked sitting up as well.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I lied.

"Are you sure? Cause you really-"

"I said I'm okay." I snapped. I didn't mean to snap at him. I wasn't okay. I really wasn't. He wanted me to tell him what was going on, I did too. I couldn't.

"I'll just leave to your thoughts then." He said. He pushed the blankets off him and walked out of the room.

I was messing up everything...

I grabbed my phone. Nothing was new.

Ethan walked back into the room.

"I know you're not okay. Please, don't shut me out. What's going on with you?" He asked sitting on the bed.

I pushed the covers off of me and faced him.

"I have to tell you something." I replied.

"What?" He asked.

I sighed. I was about to say something I wasn't gonna like.

"I...think that we...s..should take a break."I said slowly.

His expression came off and darkened. He looked down.

"Y...you think that?" He asked. He looked back up at me.

I nodded and looked away.

"Why?" He asked.

"It's me. Last night when we were talking about the whole thing you started getting sad and not happy. I just always want you to be happy. I don't want to cause you emotions that make you feel less than happy. And if I'm causing sadness or anger than maybe a break is what's best." I explained.

He shook his head.

"But you're not causing any of that." His voice broke as his words came out.

"I'm sorry. I just need a break." I said holding back tears that had been fighting to find thier way out.

"How long of a break?" He asked.

"I don't know. How ever long it takes me to get over this and be okay again." I replied.

He nodded. A tear slipped out of his eye.

I cupped his face and wiped it off with my thumb.

"I'm gonna wait for you." He whispered grabbing my hand that was on his face.

"Don't. Live your life. Go to other girls. One's that can make you happy." I said.

"No other girl makes me happy, Remi. I'll wait for you no matter what. I love you. Always."

"I love you too." I told him laughing a little. I don't know why.

"I'll take you home if you want." He offered.

"Thanks."

We got changed and he drove me home.

I didn't get out of the car right away.

"Ethan?" I said looking at him.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked.

"Of course you can, baby."  He said.

I leaned in and kissed his lips for what felt like the last time...