Always (E.D)

Chapter Thirty

-Ethan's POV-

I woke up the next morning with Remi's body still connected to mine. I could feel her moving and twitching. I rubbed her back to calm her down. She woke up in an instant. Damn it.

"Hey." I said in my raspy morning voice that I hated.

"Hi." She said gently. "I've never slept naked like this before."

"There's a first time for everything I guess." We both sat up in the bed. She clutched her boobs. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know?" She made it sound more like a question. "I'm holding my boobs."

"Why?" I asked laughing.

"Cause I never just freed my boobs like this before." She told me.

"Why not? It's nice right?" I asked her.

She shrugged.

"If you let them go maybe you'll know what I'm talking about." I said grabbing her hands. I pulled them away from her boobs.

Her boobs were covered in the hickeys I placed on her body. She looked down at them.

"Ethan!" She yelled.

"What?" I asked her.

She sighed and put one of my hoodies on. She put her underwear and leggings back on. She sighed as she looked at me. I could sense that she was stressed about something.

"You okay?" I asked her rasing an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just gotta...use the restroom." She got up and walked out of my room.

I got changed and sat on my bed. I knew that she wasn't okay. Why did she feel the need to pretend she was?

She came back into the room with her head held down. She sat on the bed and stared at her feet.

"Remi." I said her name. She looked up alarmed.

"I know you're not okay. You don't have to do this whole brave thing around me. It's me - I know you're hurting deep down." I told her.

Her eyes spoke the whole story she didn't want to say. I looked into them trying to find some hope. None. She had probably given up by now.

"I am okay. I'm just...tired." She rubbed her eyes.

"I think it's more then just being tired Remi. I don't think you're okay. You can tell me, you know. I won't hurt you." I tried to reassure her.

"Ethan, I'm okay. I'm just tired. So can you please leave me alone?" She was getting angry. You could sense it in her voice.

"No. I won't leave you alone. You're hurt and I need to know why."

"I'm not hurt! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes I do. Please just tell me."

She stood up from the bed and looked at me.

"I don't have to tell you anything! You don't get it! You don't feel the way I feel!" She yelled.

She stormed out of the room. I didn't even try to follow her, I knew she didn't want to be.

-Remi's POV-

I walked home thinking about everything. I ruined everything. I wanted to go back, to go back and tell him I didn't mean the things I said. Maybe I wasn't okay.

I reached my house and walked into it. I dragged myself up to my room. I sat on my bed and cried. I couldn't stop myself...this all was too much.

I wanted to do something. I was so angry and upset. I wasn't thinking. I walked over to my mirror and looked at myself. I didn't see the person who I wanted to see.

I sighed as more tears found their way out of my eyes. I clenched my fist. I raised my right fist and punched my mirror. The glass shattered and cut my hand. I cried out at the pain I was feeling. On the inside and the outside.

My phone was buzzing as more threats and rude comments came rolling in. I was too tired to listen.

I looked down at my hand. Cut up with glass and covered in blood. I grabbed a peice of paper and started writing. I wrote the words I've wanted to say - The words that couldn't ever come out.

I set my pencil down and clutched my hand. I walked over to my bed and laid down. I stared at the ceiling. The yellow ceiling that used to bring emotion to me. But now? Now, not even the color yellow can make me feel anything.