Davekat Oneshots

Suicide

pov Karkat
I hear the sound of my blaring alarm echo throughout my room. I slowly move my body up from where I was before and grab my phone looking at the date and time.
My phone screen lights up and I look over at the date, April 16. Today's the day. I'm ending it all. I can finally stop my suffering.
I have no reason to live anymore. I can't keep going day to day seeing the love of my life with someone else...
Dave and John have been dating for over 2 years and it kills me every time I see them together. I know I can never be with Dave. I never have a chance. John is his everything and he's John's everything.
Dave doesn't even know that I've had a huge crush on him for the past 4 years. I've kept it to myself and I didn't make my move fast enough.
I'm just not good enough. I'm tired of living every day knowing I serve no purpose that I'm just a waste of breath.
No one will care when I'm gone. I've had this date set for the past month.
I've been blocking everyone out for the past two months and no ones noticed or said anything. It's like I'm battling a war I know I can't win.
Depression as taken over my body and pain is the only thing keeping me alive.
I hate everything about myself and I just can't do it anymore. There is no cure for what I'm going through. People say it gets better but it doesn't. Other wise better would have happened years ago.
I let out a mixed sob of anger, sadness, and confusion before my phone rings.
I look at it to see Dave is FaceTiming me and I answer quickly wiping away my tears.
"Hey karkles" I hear dave say through the phone looking at me with his stupid ass shades on
"What the fuck do you want"
"Well someone sure is grump. I was just curious to know if you wanted to hang out with me today. We could go out to eat or something like that."
I heard a hint of pain in Dave's voice and I wondered why.
"I'm not coming if John is there I see enough of your pda and it's annoying as shit"
"He won't be here he's out for work today"
I roll by eyes before giving and ok and he says to meet me at the café where we first met in about twenty minutes.
I hang up on him before slamming my face back down into my pillow.
I don't know if I can deal with this today. Not now... not tomorrow... if there even will be a tomorrow for me.
"Just hold yourself together and get through this it'll all be over by tonight."
After showering and getting dressed I walk down the stairs and out the door.
Since the café is only a few minutes from where I live I decide to walk.
I soon arrive to the café and as I enter a breeze of warm air passes my body. I look around the small seating area to see Dave sitting in one of the corner tables.
He looks up at me and gives a warm smile and calls me over.
I send a fake smile his way before slowly walking over tugging my sleeves further down.
I walked over to where Dave was sitting and slid into the seat across from him.
"Hey karkles! It's so nice to see you again. You've been sort of distant for the past month. I miss my kitkat."
I give off a fake laugh trying not to burst into tears and let all of my emotions out then and there.
"I've just had a lot going on."
Before either of us could say another word a lady comes over asking us if we would like to order any food.
"Oh I'll take the cheeseburger please with some french fries"
"Ok. How about you sir?"
I looked up at the lady quickly before nodding my head no.
"I'm fine. I had something to eat awhile ago."
She gave a polite smile before walking away.
Dave looked over at me with a concerned face.
"Is everything alright with you kitkat? You just seem so... out of it lately. Not like the bright, cute, adorable Karkat I met 4 years ago."
I avoided contact from his shades and fiddled with my sleeves a bit.
"I'm fine. What did you need me to come here for anyways?"
I let out a yawn from my lack of sleep lately and rub my eyes tiredly.
"Oh well. I had amazing news John wanted to me deliver not only to you but to the rest of our friends."
I laugh a bit hearing the words 'out friends'. I haven't talked to any of the trolls or humans other than Kanaya and Rose in a long time.
And when some of them talk to me it's only to remind me what a mistake I am. I have very few friends. Dave remaining in that small category.
"Ha- Uh- Well... anyways. As you know John and I have been dating for over 2 years and well... I purposed to him. And... He said, yes."
As I heard the last word my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes. But instead.... I just.... smiled.
I held every piece of me together as I positioned this fake smile on my face.
"C-congratulations."
It was almost impossible for me to speak. The love of my life.... the only purpose for my living or breathing... is gone.
All hope is lost for me. I'm done feeling this constant pain of never being good enough. I'm an official waste of breath and I'm done with living a constant hell.
I can't take another 30 minutes if feeling this way. This needs to be done, now.
"Hey uh listen. I actually forgot I had something really big to take care of today. I'm sorry to cut this short but do you mind if I slip out?"
Dave looks up at me with slight disappointment but stands up and gives me a nod.
"Of course karkles. Don't forget to text me later mthough. I really do miss talking to you."
Later.... Ha... I have no later.
He approaches me and gives me a tight hug before he lets go and I head back out the door.
I rush quickly back to my house giving everything I have left in me to hold myself together.
I walk through my front door slamming it shut before crumbling to the ground letting all my emotions fly free.
I cry into the palms of my hands trying not to rip my hair out.
"I'm so done with this fucked up planet"
After getting the courage to stand I rush up to my room and search for a pen and paper on my desk.
I hear the click of the pen before I go to drag it across the white piece of paper soon to be forming words.
'Dear Kanaya,
Thank you so much for everything you've ever done to me. It has meant the world and you truly where like my mother. You would always listen to me when I had to talk or vent about something really fucking stupid. You loved me for who I was and the choices I made. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to pull through with this battle I was fighting. I feel as if  every breathe I take is a waste and I can't pain myself through this world anymore. I love you so much more than anything and same goes for Rose. You guys better get married one day because if not I'm going to be hella upset. Good luck 'mom'.
Love, 
    Karkat Vantas'
I wipped away the tears that were slowly falling down my face before flipping the paper over preparing myself to write more.
'Dear Dave,
I'm so sorry. I couldn't do it anymore. I tried so hard. I wanted to tell you how I felt more than anything but I couldn't. You had John. You guy love each other and you have since day one. You two haven't known one another as long as we have but I just wanted you to be happy. Dave... I love you. More than just friends. I feel in love with you the day we met four years ago. I never told you because I knew you'd never fall for a freak like me. And after you told me you purposes I couldn't anymore. I have been distant for the past month because I've been planning my death. I'm tired of being in everyone's way and being a waste of breath. I can't take this constant pain of heart break I feel every time I look at you and him together. It breaks me inside when I know you'll never feel the same. Life has been shit for the past few months and I haven't been willing to talk about it. You've always been too busy. I've felt so alone. I want to end my pain. I want to give everyone what they want so I'm saying goodbye to the hell people call life. Thank you so much for putting up with my shit because I know how annoying people see me as. Never forget I love you because I always will. Congratulations with John. Maybe I'll see you again someday... Because not even death could break the bond we had. There's so much I wish I could've told you but I just couldn't. Best of luck.
Love,
    Your Karkles/Kitkat/Kitten'
Once I finish with the note I pin it to my wall which is next to the chair and rope I have hung up in my room.
I gently lift my body up into the hair before tying the rope fiercely around my neck.
I look out the window for the very last time and inhale my very last breath before I kick the chair that was once underneath me.
Once I'm released into the air I don't even struggle. After moments of small gasps for the air I will not receive the world around me goes pitch black and my last thought.... was of him.

A/N welp. This is depressing. Oof. It's 3:12 am and I'm still awake. Lord kill me. Today has been stressful so I needed some sadstuck. It's kinda long so I apologize. I hope you guys like it and I'm too lazy to put trigger warnings in so deal with it. I love you all so much and f you ever need to talk about anything I'm always up for talkin. Also I've been thinking about turning 'Internet Friends' into a book because it would just take so much explaining. Welp, until next time. Goodnight my dears.
-Randal <3

Word count- 1840