trau·ma

Four

We both sat on the ground of the room as I brought all the food that was on the cart. There was soup, bread, water and apple slices and a couple of other things for him to enjoy. I started with the soup first as I sat in front of him slowly placing the bowl between us. I reached for a spoon and a napkin. I was hesitant to tuck the napkin into his loose white buttoned shirt he glanced down at my hands inches away from his chest and gently pulled the white napkin out of my hands and tucked it in himself. 

I smiled as I brought the bowl of soup higher and scooped the spoon in. I gently blew on the soup as it was quite warm, and brought it to his lips. He gently parted them and leaned in drinking the soup that the spoon had provided. 

It was quiet as he kept feeding onto the soup. I then gave him a final spoonful of soup, as his lips parted once again he gently drank it as some soup began to drip down his chin. I quickly reached a napkin and slowly patted on his heart shaped lips. 

As I patted gently he starred at my small hands. I then placed the napkin aside once seeing his hands slowly become into fists.  I placed the empty soup bowl onto the cart and reached for the bread which I had let him eat on his own as I starred at the clipboard. 

I was assigned to give him his medicine . I reached over the apple slices and held onto a small bottle saying to only take two tablets with water. I reached for the water bottle as well and placed both in between us as he finished his bread.  I gently opened the water bottle holding two tablets in my other hand, he starred at them both and took neither. 

"I'm sorry, you have to take your medications." I murmured. 

He sat still starring at the medication, I placed it down gently and instead waited until he was ready to take them. 

"I'll wait" I said stretching my hands in the air. 

I starred at his expressionless face and studied his eyes once more. His skin was light and his eyes went well with his skin tone his hands were small but also bigger than mine and his lips were a light pink almost a baby pink. I was hesitant to ask since he didn't talk but still asked him for his name. 

He pulled the sleeve of his white button shirt and reveled his wrist band. He gently placed his finger on the wrist band where his name was written. Park Jimin . 

"That's a nice name." 

He pulled his sleeve down and looked away, instead looking at the corner of the room. 

"You don't happen to be patient 6?" I asked 

He nodded. 

I reached for the medications letting him know I was slightly done waiting and I couldn't stay here too long with him. I handed them to him as he slowly took them himself.

°

We don't like speaking

our voices scare us

we give nods or shakes never a verbal answer

we hear our voices when we think

we believe that it is enough 

our voices remind us of the past we wish never to mention again

when they care for us we don't put effort into our words 

only our actions

if we speak

then we find a reason to speak

that reason is our hope

but the reasons never come to mind 

and we see hope as nothing here

°

"Dr.Gyeong do you really think Y/N is perfect for this position? None of the nurses talk to their patients, she seems like the only one who spent the most time with the patient." 

"I think she's perfect for this position."

"She does have a lot more to do tomorrow, do you really think-" 

"Dr.Jiyeon I assure you, she's perfect for this position."