trau·ma

Nineteen

 There is a numb feeling inside of me that I can not bare

How can I stop this?

I can't seem to stop these thoughts inside me

seeing things fade in front of me make my insides twist and turn

inside I can not bare such pain why must you do this to me? My body shakes when you speak to me. 

Suffering, It seems that it's all I do. It happens often.

Alone in this white room, I seem to be stuck sitting alone. 

Don't help me. You will waste your time , I seem to be lost in sorrow

run from me before I become your nightmare, before you see who I was before 

eventually I will come to you but do not come to me. 

Away is safer then standing next to me I will only strangle you with fear.

Maybe I'm overreacting. 

°

Dr.Gyeong

Dr.Gyeong: I haven't been able to confirm that you will be going with us to the trip, will you be attending?

Y/N:

I'm still thinking about it.

seen

°

You decided it was best to head back home, you were feeling better and it only seemed fair to start going back to work. You waved goodbye to your mother as a yellow cab parked close by, you shut the door from the back seat as the cab began to drive away slowly. You passed street lamps and city buses as the cab took turns down the crowded streets then as day became darker the vehicles lights became brighter from outside, passing the ocean it was dark and the clouds fogged around it. The beaming lights from buildings reflected across the ocean making it's mirror image you pressed down on a small button near the cars window feeling a warm breeze flow into your hair. 

You fingers pressed onto the glass and your eyes adjusted to the city's view getting closer and closer to you. Thinking about coming back to the hospital made you think about the small moments with Jimin even if they meant nothing. There weren't many moments that you would call happy moments but they were memories you'd remember even if you had chocked from apples or got pushed by mean men at the park only to have Jimin come and help you. Even if he decided it was fair to carry you to the hospital because of your foot and all the interactions from treating him well as a patient and not being afraid of him. 

These were all memories so what was there to fear?

°

" I hope you don't mind being with a personal nurse throughout the trip." Dr.Jiyeon spoke softly to the boy as she placed his dinner on a small fold able white table. She sat beside Jimin on the matress knowing Jimin wasn't much of a talker. 

"I see that Y/N is a very good nurse to you." Dr.Jiyeon paused seeing Jimin spoon into the soup bowl himself. "During the trip I want you to get some rest. Your sleep schedule has been lacking since April, if we don't see improvements on that we might need to use a new medication on you." Dr.Jiyeon stood from the mattress as Jimin made no effort to react to her comment. 

"What keeps you up so much Jimin? What is it you think about?" Jimin paused letting his spoon fall into the soup, his eyes moving towards Dr.Jiyeon. Her lips pulled into a smile, she could see the boys dull eyes moving, she knew the pain he had suffered. She walked towards the large door knowing Jimin's eyes were watching her as she exited his room.

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Dr.Gyeong 

Dr.Gyeong: Will you be attending the trip tomorrow Y/N?

 

Y/N: Yes. Is there anything I should know before heading to the hospital tomorrow?

Dr.Gyeong:  The bus will arrive early around 7am. Please be sure to be at the hospital at 6am and to pack only essentials. As I said before you will be with Jimin at all times during the trip we have a separate schedule for Jimin and I will hand it to you tomorrow morning. If he lacks sleep please let us know.

seen