『 the sound of you and i 』 ➤ the first "sounds" book

❀ Ⅰ ｐ．３ ∞ 𝚊𝚣𝚞𝚛𝚎 ❀

I'm jealous of the rain. It pours when it wants to. It does what it wants. It's beautiful. It has many forms, and they're all fascinating. It makes beautiful things, too. It makes trees grow, it makes plants grow, it makes flowers grow, it makes lochs, it makes rivers, it makes lakes, it makes puddles and it makes raindrops. And they're all pretty.

I don't know.

I'm just...

Jealous of the rain?

~

The day goes slow.

After break ends, I walk with Chase, Josh, Elle and Harley to P.E, which I have with Elle, and the boys have together. Oh, how I ache to be in their class.

Lovelle and I aren't exactly athletic. She doesn't need to be, she's fit enough from the diet she's on. Never mind, I just realised she's one of the most athletic people I've ever met. She works out daily, and she's just... eugh. Sometimes I want her to go die in a hole. That's how perfectly amazing  she is. But nah, I still love her to pieces.

She gets hit on by known lesbians in our class the entire period, and I could tell she was getting kind of bored of telling them she was taken. I'm always surprised at the amount of lesbians in our class. And most of them accidentally came out, not really on their own accord... Shame.

I'm the non athletic one. I'm skinny, yeah. I'm kinda underweight too, which is why people are always trying to get me to eat all the time. Some people think I'm anorexic or something, but really, I've just got a small appetite. There's a difference which people don't realise.

~

I say bye to Elle after P.E and walk with Harley to Maths, which we have together. We're in the highest class during our period. It's split into two periods, and Elle, Chase, Josh and the twins are in the other period, which is why they're not in our class. Tiffany's slow, but she's not been diagnosed with anything, so she gets help during maths, actually, mainly from Lovelle. She's a good tutor.

The walk is kind of awkward as we don't really talk, which is unusual. We always talk. We're close. There's nothing up with us. What makes it even more awkward is the occasional glance at each other, and when we hold eye contact a little longer than we need to.

~

I've always felt more close to Harley than I have with Chase. I don't know why. I get a sort of feminine vibe off of Harley, and I remember wondering if he was gender fluid, or even gender questioning. He said he wasn't, but I wasn't really convinced.

That wasn't really the reason I felt closer with him, I don't think. We just... clicked better than Chase and I.

I found out he's intersex about a year ago. I was the fifth person he'd told.

I felt quite pleased with that.

He basically has the top of a male, and the physical appearance of a male, but he has the bottom half a female. Basically, he has a vagina.

Which I find quite cool. Very unique. I barely knew about it before he'd told me. I done tons of research afterwards. Yeah, I knew about it, but I never thought one of my best friends wild be intersex. 

I'm not sure if there's a way I can say that without it sounding offensive.

~

"What's wrong?"

I barely notice the masculine voice beside me. "Wha-? Nothing," I huff, turning my head away from him. It makes him laugh.

"Don't lie to me. There's something on your mind," he says as he grasps hold of my arm, pulling me into the side of the corridor. "Maths can wait ten minutes. Tell me."