『 the sound of you and i 』 ➤ the first "sounds" book

✿ Ⅱ ｐ．３ ∞ 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 ✿

I've never really been attracted to anyone, honestly. Sexually or romantically. At one point I thought I was honestly aromantic and asexual, just not interested in anything other than friendship but I realised that was stupid.

I guess I couldn't tell finding someone cute or attractive from potentially falling in love. Cute people exist, and they're everywhere. I know that now and it's such a blessing.

But being attracted to girls isn't really something I'm used to. That makes me think about the situation with the jock in art class. Does everyone think I'm a lesbian because I dress like a guy? Fair enough, but seriously? Can we not dress like the opposite gender and have labels shoved at us like a ton of bricks? Apparently not.

Two girlfriends. That's it. All I've had. When people asked if I was gay, I said I didn't know. I still don't know what I'm specifically attracted to. If I'm specifically attracted to anyone, that is. I guess if I had to choose a label I'd settle with pansexuality. I feel most comfortable with that. I care about the person, not what's in their pants or how the fuck they look or anything like that.

Yeah. I guess I'm pansexual. But I really don't want to come out as that because people will just come up to me and ask, "uh, does that mean you fuck pans??" and I can't handle that. I will kill someone. So I guess bisexual is what I'll have to say. Bisexuality can be included in pansexuality but pansexuality cannot be included in bisexuality and that's the thing that annoys me.

But whatever. It is what it is.

~

I wake up and my mind decides to scream at me about everything that happened the previous day. My phone is still in my hand. I'd texted Parker for the entire night and I seriously feel like I've known her for years and years now, it's crazy.

I yawn. It's Wednesday today. Another fucking day of school.

I get up and get ready. I don't have time for a shower today, I'll need to have one when I get back from school. I hum a little which is unusual. I'm not very talented with music, I love listening to it and stuff but I can't sing or play an instrument or anything.

Viola peeks into my room as I'm pulling my shirt on, thank god she doesn't see my binder, and she smiles gently at me. She's in a really good mood. "Hey, kiddo. What's up? Want a ride to school?"

She adopted that nickname for me when dad died. She always knew I loved it.

"Yeah, sure. Give me a minute to grab my bag."

She nods and leaves my room. Have I ever said how much I love my sister?

~

We eat in the car. I grabbed two waffles on the way out and managed to avoid mum yet again. We haven't spoken since she revealed wanting to go back to London. I, still, think not.

"So, how's Freya? Did you guys have fun?"

They obviously went out last night. She's beaming.

"Yeah, she's good. Asking after you. She really loves you. We went to the local bar, managed a few drinks. I really like her, Grace. I think she might be the one."

"'The One'? Damn. I really like her too. I think she's great for you."

"I know we're young and stuff, but aren't young people meant to make stupid choices? Even if I don't think this is stupid. I think I love her, and I really want to act on it. She's bought this flat and she wants me to move in with her."

My heart kind of stops for a minute. I'm so happy for her, but her moving out would mean I would barely see her. And I cannot handle mum all by myself.

"How long until you move out?"

"A week?"

"A week!? That's so soon..."

"I know, I'm sorry, bubs. I know you and mum aren't on great terms. But I need to do this. And hey, I'll have to tell her I'm moving in with a friend. She's still all 'gay people are going to rot in hell!' so I need to keep myself, and Freya, safe."

I sigh. "I know. I'm really happy for you."

"I know. But remember you have to share me now. I'll visit every week. And, hey, if anything blows up, call me. I'm sure Freya wouldn't mind you crashing with us."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get out and go get your education."

~

The first people I see when I go into school are Harley and Chase. I smile and wave and they do the same back. I walk over to them.

"Hey, Grace!" Harley says, but there's this mischievous look in his eyes. "You text Parker last night?"

I'm confused. "Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, you just seem really into her."

I cough and splutter. "Are you kidding? I've known her for a day, and besides, you know me. I'm not really into the whole romance thing."

"She's defensive," Chase mumbled, and I give him the stink eye.

"Definitely into this girl."

"You guys suck."

Saved by the bell. I playfully shove them both and head off to art. I wonder if that jock will say anything weird to me again or if that girl beside me will shrink away from me again or some stupid shit like that.

~

Nothing happens in art and I've never been more relieved in my entire life.

I literally celebrate internally as I walk out of the class. Nobody looked at me weird, nobody tossed me any notes and nobody asked if I was a lesbian. Hallelujah.

Parker texts me when I get into the hall and I smile. I text her a copy of my timetable so she'd know when she could text me and I wouldn't get into trouble with my phone or anything.

'how was art??'

She's gotten sloppy with her texting now that we're friends and I have to admit, I love it.

'it was good. how's sitting at home?'

'boring as fuqq. i just wanna come to school already nd hang w u guys. its so lonely.'

'awwwh! well u'll be with us soon enough. hang in there!'

'i wanna see you again.'

That makes my heart flutter and I don't know why. I really want to see her too and I literally only met her yesterday. She's like... addicting, or something.

'me too.'

'when are u next free?'

'after school today.'

'how about we meet at the local coffee shop??'

'ok! id love that. text u ltr.'

'bye! <3'