『 the sound of you and i 』 ➤ the first "sounds" book

✿ Ⅱ ｐ．２ ∞ 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 ✿

I really like the park. I always have. It hold a sort of... close place in my heart. 

It's really pretty and quite big too. About half the size of a football pitch, almost like a plaza, I guess. There's swings and a slide and a giant climbing frame. There's a lake too and rent-a-boats that you can go out to it on. And there's ducks, too. I love ducks.

Dad used to take Viola and I there all the time, we loved it so much. We used to be so happy together, and that was the time that mum loved it too. Mum was so happy when dad was around, she was always smiling and her eyes were always wide and happy and she always wore bright colours but now she wears lots of grey and looks older than she is and she looks so sad.

~

Dad died when I was fourteen.

Our family basically broke. We've never been the same since. There's just something missing and there always will be. Mum and I used to get along but ever since he died it's just been fights and fights and it kills me inside.

He was her rock and he was my rock and he was Viola's rock. He was all of us' rock. But he's gone and he has been for two years.

None of us will get over it. We haven't and we won't. We can't change that and we started to understand that at grief therapy.

It's just kind of shit without him.

He understood me. He didn't care that I act like a boy or that I dress like a boy or that I wanted my hair cut like a boy's. He always used to defend me in front of mum and she used to just give in and laugh and tell us she loved us.

She was so happier when he was around. She was different. She changed when he died. I understand that, so did we all. But she changed so much. She became so cold and shut off and it makes me and Viola so mad. We get that she's hurting, all of us won't ever stop hurting. But she handles it so poorly.

But it doesn't matter. She lost us when we lost dad.

~

Chase pulls up beside the park and we all almost leap out of the car. Harley passes me a bag that has a bunch of stuff inside of it that's supposed to help me come out. It's a bit excessive but I want to go big. It's a huge thing to get off of my chest. I want him to know how major it is.

I start running down the path towards the benches and the other two laugh and start running after me. Chase overtakes me and laughs behind him at me, sticking his tongue at me. He yells something but I can't hear him. I suddenly realise what he said but by then it's too late.

Harley pushes me from the side and I fall over in a fit of laughter and grass and daises but I grab his hand and he falls down with me and we're just a mess of limbs and happy laughter and nature eating us whole. It's really nice. He'd wrapped his arms around me as we fell so I lay there in his arms, listening to his breath as we stared at the sky and watched the clouds and the few birds that passed. It would've made a really nice polariod picture.

As I thought that, I heard the exact noise of an instant camera going off and I glanced up, seeing Chase beside us. But the noise didn't come from him, he wasn't holding a camera. He was looking at the person that had made the noise. It was a girl around our age. I couldn't really see her because she was hiding behind her camera. I suddenly noticed it was pointed at us.

I sit up, escaping Harley's arms and he lets out a noise of protest before sitting up too, following my gaze to the girl. His eyebrows raise. "Hey," he calls over to her. "Were you taking a photo of us?"

The girl lowers her camera and flashes a smile I will never forget. It's unbelievably perfect. Her teeth are insanely white and all aligned and her lips curl a bit at the corners of her mouth and she has dimples. They're faint but they're there.

"Hey, sorry!" She calls back over to us, walking up to us. "You two looked so perfect and happy. I watched you both run down the hill. You're a really cute couple."

I laugh at that and immediately defend our friendship.  "Ha, that's funny. Nah, we're just friends." I look to Harley with a grin but he looks a bit hurt. I give him a confused expression before looking back to the stranger. "Like siblings."

'Brothers' nearly slips out but I save myself. That would've really confused this strange girl.

She smiles. "Sorry, then. You guys are really cute friends." She looks to Chase. "You're with them, then? Shame you weren't in the pile of limbs. The picture would've been perfect with three bodies." At that, she looks to the instant photo in her hand. She hands it to me before smiling again. She smiles a lot but I don't mind because I will not deny that she wears a smile well. "I'm Parker," she mumbles. It's like she's ashamed of her name.

I look at the photo in my hand. I forget taking it from her. It's actually really good. The lighting is just perfect and Harley and I actually look really good. The grass looks really pretty over us too. Basically the photo is good enough to be in a viral aesthetic. It's pretty crazy.

When I look back up at her I take in her appearance for the first time. She has hair to her waist like mine but it's this ombre brown to blonde and its really pretty. She's quite skinny but her face is a tiny bit pudgy. She's got so many freckles and her eyes are this deep green almost like seaweed. She's got black rimmed circle glasses on. She looks a bit like Harry Potter. But... prettier. She's a bit more tanned than me but I'm pale so that's not hard to beat. 

It's the freckles I'm captivated by, though. It's like constellations on her face but prettier. But that confuses me. What's prettier than stars? Her freckles apparently.

Parker, Parker, Parker. I run her name over in my head. It suits her in a way. She's really pretty, has a talented interest in photography and has a cute name. I bet she has a dog or a cat. Or a tortoise.

I realise I've been staring and I cough a little. I think she blushes because she looks away for a minute. No wonder. I was staring at her. Idiot.

"Chase," I hear our friend mumble and I totally forgot that when someone tells you their name it usually means you say yours back.

"I'm Harley." I suddenly realise it's my turn.

I cough again. "I'm, uh, I'm Gracie- no I'm not. I'm Grace, sorry." Why are my cheeks warm and why am I stuttering. I really wish I could tell her my trans name but I just... I'm not ready.

"Gracie or Grace?" She asks and I realise she's teasing me because she laughs and so does Chase.

Traitor.

"Just Grace," I mumble, feeling a bit huffy at being laughed at. But she flashes me her smile and it looks so kind and everything kind of fades away.

She sits next to Chase who's on the bench next to Harley and I and we lie back down. Harley talks to me but my eyes are mostly on Parker. I can hear her and Chase's conversation.

"So, you're new here, then? When are you starting school?"

"Yeah, we moved here about a week ago. I start next week."

It's only Tuesday.

"Can I get your number?" I blurt out before I realise and she looks taken aback. I'm about to take it back when she smiles. 

"Sure. It'll be nice to see some friendly faces when I start. Gimmie."

I realise she's asking for my phone so I give her it and she types in her contact. I'm so aghast by the whole thing.

We say bye to Parker about an hour later and we start driving back home.

"Grace, Harley said you wanted to tell me something."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm trans."

"Cool. Nice to know."

That's the only conversation the boys get out of me until they drop me off. I say bye and go inside and the rest of the night is blurry.

It's suddenly nine at night and I'm staring at her contact. I almost fall off of my bed when a text comes through.

I smile and think about it all night once I've read it.

' Hey! It's Parker! Nice meeting you today. I love your hair. Hope to talk soon, get some sleep! '

She loves my hair.

Ohmygod she loves my hair!!