Unforgivable

Yes, Please

I woke up around 7pm with Luke gone. I sat up and attempted to open my eyes fully but they decided not to rule against that so it probably looked like I was squinting. Luke came back in with a plate of food. He came over and handed it to me. He sat back down beside me and grabbed his remote.

"This is my turf," he said making me laugh. He moved his arm behind me. I moved closer to him laying on his chest. He moved with me and let me lay on him. He flicked through the channels until he finally found one. He said the movie was called Star Wars but I didn't recognize it. His arm was warm like the rest of him. His tight hold reminded me he was there.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said making me jump a little.

"You just did," I said with a small laugh.

"You know what I mean."

"I can't say that I do," I said. He looked down at me then all of a sudden he started tickling me. Our laughs chimed through the house as he continued to tickle me. I pushed him off with whatever strength I could find and he fell backward. I laughed as I still felt like he was tickling me even though he was on the floor holding his head.

We both got up and went to the kitchen for food while he asked the same question again.

"What?" I said not wanting to risk being tickled again.

He came up behind me. He seemed scared, "Why won't you testify?"

"What did Sarah tell-"

"No, she just started crying after her talk with you," he said interrupting my sentence.

"Then how'd you find out?"

"Mark told Lacy after Sarah told him, and Lacy told me," he said simply. I looked him in the eyes but only saw pity. He felt pity when he was with me, and I hate pity. "Why won't you testify?"

"That's none of your business," my voice came out harsh and my mind was saying 'leave'. I might listen to it this time.

"Marco-"

"I'm done listening to you and Sarah saying what I should and shouldn't do, I'm done listening to Lacy about how wrong I am, I'm done with you acting like you care, and I'm done with your pity," I let some tears fall but stayed strong. He looked shocked.

"I don't-"

"Just stop, whether you believe it or not they love me, unlike you and Lacy and Sarah and Mark, they love me."

He stayed silent.

"So what if I come to school with bruises, I go home with them too. So what if I cut, it's none of your damn business."

Silence.

"What do you care if I jumped off a building, what do you care if I slit my wrists, what do you care if I choke and die, what do you care-" I was interrupted with a hug. I had been full on crying and screaming at him, and he hugs me. He would.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," he said tightening his hold on me.

After I calmed down and we got our food. Luke and I went back to his room. He cuddled with me like before and laughed when the movie got to a funny part and screamed when the movie took a turn he didn't like. I didn't pay attention. I thought about my parents and what they did to me and what I did and said. I thought about how Lacy looked at me as if I was a bomb and Luke watched as if he would protect me forever.

I thought about my dad hitting me and my mom laughing as he did so. I thought about the accident and the gun. I thought about how Luke's hold tightened around me as I thought about these things.

"You OK?" he said with worry. I thought about how it would be if I rid myself of them. They would pay and I would be free of them.

"I'll do it," I said starting to get up again. I'm already scared.

"Do what?" he said confused, and watching me closly.

"I'll testify."