Devote [book 1]

39 (Imogen) *

"You know that I love you, I would die if you left, you are my everything."

I looked down to my lap where his head lay, I imagine our future together. I see how great of a father he could be and a greater husband and best friend to me. 

Lucas would be and is the one thing that has helped me and that has become my rock in the past few years and months. 

"I love you. You are my rock and my best friend. You are the one thing that has been a constant in my life even with all the shitty stuff that we have been through. I can not imagine where I would be without you or even if I would still be here. I don't mean that in a way that I can't live without you, I can but at the same time I can't. I lost my memory, I would've been empty if it weren't for you. I would've had to start all over but why would I want that when the best thing to ever happen to me would've been gone. You are my everything, every happy memory has you in it even if you weren't physically there.

The memories you and I share are special ones, we are having a child together. I couldn't think of anyone else to have a child with but with you. You are the first thing that I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep."

There is no doubt in my mind that I would change any single thing in my life. Yes, certain things have happened that caused me to want to give up but Lucas has always been there. Through all my ups and downs, through times where I felt like disappearing and not coming back, he's always been right there helping me.  

"If I ever did something to upset you, please don't ever leave me. Talk with me about it, yell at me, just do anything and everything but don't leave me...please.."

I look down to see him staring straight at me with stray tears flowing down his face. 

My hand goes to wipe them away, I could feel my own tears starting to well up. 

"I don't think I could ever last a second away from you. My heart is yours in every way." 

I kiss him on the lips with a kiss that holds every emotion we are feeling, we are vulnerable to each other, we are showing each other a side that we don't show too often. 

"Tell me what's happening baby, why would you ever think I'd leave you?"

He breathes in and wipes his face, "My brother found out he has a son. His ex-girlfriend left him without ever telling him but he had found out she was pregnant about a month after she disappeared. He thought she would give it up for adoption or something but his son looks exactly like him and he saw her at the hospital. He saw a lost little boy and helped him find his mom when he recognized her voice."

I hugged him tight, I wanted to give Cristiano a big hug too because he needs someone to listen to him.

"Drive me to your brothers house."

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My head shot up as we entered the driveway to Cristianos house. I always loved seeing his house because of the decor and the way its neat and clean.

I got out of the car and knocked on the door. It opened to a semi-naked Cristiano.

"Please put something on to cover yourself, my innocent eyes cannot take this," I said with a hand covering my eyes. 

"Oh yeah because Lucas doesn't have anything to show, let me show you a real man, rawr."

"Did you just...rawr?" I laughed and slapped my knee, I could feel both their eyes on me.

I look back to see Lucas trying to hold in his laugh, "Oh come on , you cannot tell me that seeing a grown man say rawr isn't the funniest thing ever."

We all walked into the house and sat on the couch while Cristiano went to put a shirt on. I told Lucas to go roam the house while I talk with his brother.

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"What are you thinking of doing?" 

Cristiano told me the entire story, from the beginning of him and Lily to the end. 

"I want to go to her, I want to tell her that we could make something work, that I want to see my son and be involved in his life. I already missed so much and I don't want to miss anymore. She left me a long time ago because she was pregnant, she didn't think I was ready but I was, I was ready to start a family with her even if we were young. She was my person and I thought I was hers."

I turned to face him, the sadness evident on my face. 

"Cristiano, there are so many theories and possibilities as to why she left. We don't know the full story. Find her and ask her for coffee and then ask for her side of the story, ask everything that you want answers to. Don't hold anything back, i'm not saying to be mean but I am saying to show her how miserable you were and how you looked for her. 

She hid your son from you, do not let her get away with that because it isn't fair. She deprived her son of his father because she was scared of your reaction and I get that but she shouldn't have left you. I was terrified of Lucas' reaction but just seeing how happy he was to go buy pregnancy tests, my doubts left my mind at that moment. 

But don't fall for any of her traps. I'm not saying she has bad intentions because I don't know her but be careful. You are someone who deserves the best and I really hope you can solve this without causing something bad."

I just bought my laptop and felt really inspired to write this chapter, I know some of you expected smut but I felt like it wasn't appropriate with the last chapter, until next time, byeee!!!

I also want to say that when I saw this book got deleted I was scared for my life which is why I bought this laptop and wasted all my money because this is something I need to further my writing career.

I also cried because I was listening to the song attached so please enjoy this chapter and vote and comment on your favorite part because it would mean the world and it actually does help me feel like people actually like my book.