i just wanted,,, to talk abt boys
like i hate when boys have this sense of toxic masculinity bc of how they were raised n the ppl they hang out w/ like esp boys in christian households
i feel so bad for my brothers bc my mum always sees male muas and is like 'wow thank goodness my boys arent like that' but she fails to acknowledge that the older one used to steal my nailpolish so he could paint his toes n he used my mums makeup when he was lil bc he liked how it smelled n looked :'-(
and now after so many years of my mum yelling at him abt how boys dont cry and asking him if he was a woman bc he liked pretty things he became p insensitive tbh? like he just doesnt care n he hardly has opinions of things and hes always over emphasizing his masculinity
i just wonder sometimes how it would be if he was raised differently
n my ex is a v strong christian like vv hardcore which is goood n i admire his values but theres a limit like he is v homophobic n transphobic even tho he wont admit it and since hes pretty influential he kinda influences how other ppl think n act abt it too n it kinda sucks watching all ur friends try to be more 'manly' n whatev
ur masculinity isnt determined by how manly u are u decide if u are n the opinions of others are irrelevant 🤷♀️
boys who wear makeup are honestly so pretty n i love them
guys who determine masculinity by how hairy pits n legs are or how tall or whatever tbh are gross like some ppl are just physically not built that way n u cant shame a person for what they cant control
also guys that think manly guys are the ones that are thin but swole are trash bc they fail to acknowledge the beauty of thicker body types
gUyS whO tHinK thAt being athletic is better than being intelligent are dumb asf and it shows
((((( this is the part where i actually talk abt my crush hehehehe)))))))
so i like this guy n hes the actual cutest person like ughdjsjjfjsjdjskfjsnjxjwjs
its a different guy than all the other guys this time i swE aR and i actually talk to him alot lMFAO
but yeah so hes literally my height but a bit taller? ((im almost 5'8 so its pretty tall still hehe))
n hes on varsity swim
n plays water polo n tennis
but he cant run for shit its so cute
and hes thIccccc
like ccccccccccccccccccccc
hes like a slim thicc baby he has such nice legs n hes always wearing ripped jeans that he cuffs w/ his old skool vans i m in l ove
hes part filipino n white n chinese and oh my i love mixed ppl bc wow relatable
and!!! hes!!!! so smart!!!!!
he never studies for tests or does his hw but he always does amazing and he actually reads??? its amazing we have actually intelligent conversations i just ugH and hes been in my math class for 2 years already but we only started getting rlly close like this semester?? bc we got sat next to eachother but now he got moved to the table over :'-(
when i first got overwatch he got rlly excited (we werent that close then) n he asked if we could play together
so the first time i ever played overwatch he was there coaching me thru it was rlly cute
and usually when i play w other guys theyre pretty uhhhhh demeaning like theyll try to show off n theyll get mad at me when i dont do what they want like??? ik what im doing n then they still get mad when i place higher than them (esp in fortnite its so annoying) they still get mad??? like they somehow think that its my fault they did bad n they still try to elevate themselves over me just cuz im a girl like stfu ur trash
but anYwAys
he was so respectful?? and like i told him at the beginning that im gonna be trash bc ive never played n he was so sweet he was like 'its okay we're gonna have fun and ill help u w/ whatever u cant figure out' and??????????????????????????????
and it was actually so fun like we stayed up till 2 am
and we still play together like every weekend
anyways back to actually important stuff
i have nEvEr
ever
heard of him liking a someone in hs
hes rlly driven n has alot of aspirations to do well in life even tho he doesnt rlly know what he wants to do when hes older
and hes a pretty strong christian too but he has a more open mindset n i can relate to him more than i could my ex and hes also not afraid to talk abt political issues w me and hes rlly woke and we have alot of the same viewpoints which is amazing
but hes never had a gf in his lIfe
n one of my best friends is close to him too n she asked why he doesnt like anyone atm n he said its bc 'girls dont like me like that' and??? omg babe
i jsut
like hes rlly insecure bc he wishes he was taller n skinnier n stuff n he doesnt rlly talk to that many girls its cute
but all i can do is try to reassure him when he gets a lil self deprecating but he always pushes it away n im always sad when he does that
but hes always seen himself as the wingman ig bc his friends date alot of ppl
and one time i asked him if he had a crush ((this was before i liked him n i had just ranted to him abt some asshole junior i was crushing on who we will not talk abt atm))
but he said no so fast?? n he was like hAh nonono not me
n he just wanted to keep talking abt my problems w that junior ugh i just wish i noticed him sooner rather than other toxic assholes
anyways
i just
rlly like subby boys
like idrc abt manly n tuff boys bc theres like a billion of them but subby boys that are kinda shy n get flustered easily n like to be taken care of n like pretty things are the actual most precious things in the world i just am being gross rn sorry lol
this was dumb n long n congrats if u made it to the end ily all <3
