Temptations [Niall Horan]

Chapter 22

Warning: This chapter contains suggestive material that could trigger anyone with self harm issues or depression. Read at your own risk.

And ps: keep your chin up (:

I walked through the door, hanging my jacket up on the rack.

"Hey Bec!" I called, smiling at her from across the room. She looked up at me, an odd expression on her face.

"Something wrong?" I asked, sitting down on my bed.

"Um... I don't exactly know..." she trailed off, getting up and walking over to me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Why's that?"

She sighed, showing me her phone. My jaw dropped, nearly undoing from its hinges as I saw the picture sent from an unknown number on her phone.

It was of Niall and I...

It was of him, kissing my neck at the door less than 2 minutes ago.

(A/N: Listen to "Are You Happy Now" by Megan and Liz while reading the rest of the chapter!)

Below the picture was the most hateful caption I'd ever read.

'Look at them. Disgusting. No wonder why Niall is into her, she's a complete whore.'

My eyes watered, the tears ready to stream down my face.

"Who took this?!" I asked, looking up at Becca. She shook her head, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"I dunno. But they sent it to the whole campus again..." she looked up at me, noticing the tears in my eyes.

"Ronnie... Don't listen to them. Everything will be alright."

I smiled, nodding and getting up to go take a shower. When I'd locked the door, I turned to the mirror, looking at my reflection.

Was I a slut?

Was I a whore?

The tears streamed down my face.

Niall couldn't know about this... He might hurt someone again if he found out. And I couldn't let that happen.

If this was to continue... How was I supposed to enjoy my relationship? I was starting to have doubts. How much longer could I put up with this?

The name calling, all my friends ignoring me? I was...

depressed.

And I felt like...

Like a slut. Maybe I was one.

I stripped off my clothes, hopping into the shower. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't scrub the pain away. Suddenly, I eyed something in the corner of the shower.

My razor.

I'd always heard of people turning to something like this... but was I going to? I'd been through so much pain, so much sadness...

My parents divorce.

The name calling.

Being ignored.

The trauma of being a bad boys girlfriend.

Threats...

I couldn't take it anymore.

In one swift movement, I picked up the razor, holding it against my wrist.

Was I really going to do this? Was I going to ruin my body because of something someone else said?

The hurtful words echoed in the back of my head, swirling around in a tornado. I couldn't stop the tears, burning my skin. I held the blade tightly against my wrist, ready to go through with it until...

Niall popped into my head.

"You're beautiful Ronnie. I love you," his voice echoed. I gasped, dropping the razor to the ground.

What was I about to do?! What had I turned to?!

I dropped to my knees, sobbing under the water. I was just abuot to harm myself because of something someone I didn't even care about said. A wail fell past my lips, my body shaking with fury.

How was I supposed to live with this?

I was only a junior... I couldn't do this for another year. I wasn't going to get through this... but I coudn't hurt myself! I couldn't do that to Becca and Niall... and Kate.

Kate was the nicest girl I'd ever met. She'd been with me for a while. Although I hadn't talked to her recently, I'm sure she was still my friend!

I didn't know what to do.

I would either have to deal with the hate or do something I didn't want to do...

Break up with Niall.

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I sat alone at lunch the following Monday. Niall had some sort of test to make up, so I was left alone for the afternoon.

Everywhere I looked, people laughed with ther friends, pointing to me. I felt horrific.

"Ronnie!" A high voice called. I turned, only to see sweet Kate walking over with her lunch.

"Mind if I sit with ya?" she asked. I smiled.

"Sure. But do you really want to be seen with me? People might start talking about you too..."

"Oh of course! People already talk about me anyways. You're really my only friend..." she said, taking a bite of her sandwich. My heart broke. I had completely forgotten...

Kate was a loner.

Kate was the girl that everyone made fun of. I really was her only friend.

And suddenly, I felt bad about making fun of her with Becca. She was always so kind to me, and she didn't let the talking get to her...

"Kate, can I ask you something?" I asked, stirring my mashed potatoes around with my fork. She looked up, a smile on her face.

"Sure! Ask away."

I sighed, biting my lip. "How do you deal with people talking about you?... ya know. Like how do you keep a such a positive attitude? All these people talking about me is getting me pretty down..." I trailed off.

She scrunched her nose up in thought.

"Well, frankly the people that talk about me are people who don't know me. I don't care about them, and I don't have to change myself for them. So really, I don't listen to them. I block them out. I've never really had many friends, so when you came along, I felt really cool. Like maybe people would back off. But even though they haven't, that's ok. Because they don't care about me like I know you do. Keep your head up Ronnie... you're beautiful, no matter what anyone says. Things will get better soon."

I smiled for the first time since this whole thing started. I reached over, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it.

"Thank you Kate. You're a true friend." She smiled, then went back to eating. I thought about what she had said through the entire lunch shift... about blocking people out. I'd tried that but... it wasn't enough. Maybe I needed to find a way to push the hate back towards everyone. Maybe... I needed to accept the name calling, and pretend it was something kind instead. Maybe...

Maybe this whole thing would be solved if I was able to find out who took the pictures. Who was doing this to me?? And why? Did it have something to do with Niall? I didn't know for sure...

But I was going to find out.