"Mistletoe!" I point at the place above us. "Want to kiss?" I pout at her, cutely.
She looks at me with wide eyes. We stand there quietly. I observe her.
She is taller than me and has broad shoulders. She could easily pass as a guy as well.
Her p...
"Why did you do that?" She asks me again. "Why are you degrading yourself like this? You're worth so much more, Y/N."
"BUT YOU WANTED ME! DIDN'T YOU? WHEN I USED MY BODY?" I shout at her as I cry.
She stands in front of me and looks down with embarrassment. "Y/N ..."
"Tell me, Taemin! You wanted me when I used my body, right? The same person you pushed away as a joke." I say softly as I keep my hands on her muscular chest.
Her eyes move up and meet mine. Her eyes showed her annoyance at her uncontrollably. "Y/N ... we should get going. It's already past midnight."
She holds my hand and drags me out and towards our room after switching off the lights. We walk in a sad silence.
We reach the room and Taemin closes the door. I immediately back her against the wooden door.
"Why? Why don't you want me? Am I not good enough?" I ask her as I lean closer.
She stops me unwillingly and pushes me away. "Get some sleep, Y/N!" She says as she flops on her bed in her uniform.
I too flop on my bed and fall asleep feeling horrible.
............
It's been three weeks since the incident and we hardly even talk to each other since then.
We have been practising for our performance very well. Exams got over last week.
The half semester parents visit at which we are performing is just a week away.
It's Saturday evening and I am sitting on my bed, trying to revise my lines.
The door opens and Taemin steps in. I slowly turn to look at her. I see a difference in her appearance. She changed her hair like she said she would.
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Her hair looked like the hair do of the character she is playing. She smiles sadly at me.
She is wearing a white shirt and black pants which make her look even more beautiful than usual.
"Hey! I did it. What do you think?" She asks, sitting down next to me.
"You went to town?" I ask in a plain voice.
"Yeah. Today was the day, remember?" She looks at me shyly.
"It looks gorgeous." I give her a weak smile. She looks more manly in this hairstyle. She looks more heavenly.
She returns a sweet smile that melts my heart. "Let's practice?" She asks. I nod and move away the script.
We get up and start acting, each scene one by one. Soon, we get lost in the characters and story.
The last scene comes and it's ending is the kiss. We lean forward and bring our lips close. That's all that's required.
We quickly move away as the scene ends and we break character.
We stand there awkwardly as we look at each other. I run my hands through my combed hair.
"I promised Mina that I will meet her." Taemin mutters and goes out the door yet again.
Why? Just why can't I bring myself to tell her that I need her? That she is killing me? That her each and every movement made me go crazy?
Why couldn't I just be hers? Why couldn't I have her? Why did I have to be so messed up and broken? Why couldn't I convince myself that she won't hurt me again?
Why did I feel like I am not good enough for her? I am too broken. I am just a used, thrown away girl who doesn't deserve an amazing person like Taemin.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME LEE TAEMIN?? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRAZY? WHAT IS THIS FEELING I HAVE AROUND YOU OR WHEN I THINK OF YOU?
Cheonsa here, I was listening to Taemin's song Sexuality while writing this. It's awesome. Listen to his first album <Press it>. It's absolutely amazing.
I seriously can't choose my favourite song or album. His second album <Move> is too good to be real.
Support him and SHINee! They deserve the world for their hard work. Thank you for reading my fantasies. Love you!!!
